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Cheesy manicotti

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .

Not just a great stylist, this talented mama knows her way around the salon – and the kitchen! While we LOVE LOVE LOVE the great hair advice we usually receive from Erica Wearing, and we’re looking forward to a post on taming the frizzies later this week (my big mess of curls is currently begging for help as they boost out of all control!!) she’s kindly shared her Magnificent Manicotti recipe – it’s cheesy, in a good way – and you won’t be disappointed!!Add something tasty to your family’s Italian dinner tonight! Serve baked manicotti shells placed on beef mixture sprinkled with cheese.

erica unbaked manicotti with cheese

What you need:

– 14 uncooked manicotti shells (or oven-ready if you prefer)
– 1lb lean ground beef
– 1 large onion, chopped
– 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
– 1 jar (26 to 30 oz) tomato pasta sauce (choose your favorite – or make your own)
– 2 boxes (9 oz each) frozen chopped spinach, thawed
– 2 cups small curd cottage cheese
– 12 mushrooms (or an 8 oz can, drained, if you prefer)
– 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
– 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
– 1/4 teaspoon pepper
Topping:
– 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (8 oz)
– 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

What you do:

First you need to cook the manicotti as directed on package, and drain. Use the minimum cooking time, this will help to prevent the shells from tearing while filling. I used the oven-ready shells and just skipped this step – it’s up to you!

Erica unbaked manicotti

To prepare the beef:
In a large skillet, cook the beef, onion and garlic over medium heat, about 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until beef is brown. Drain off and stir in pasta sauce.
Preheat the oven to 350°. Spray a 13 by 9-inch glass baking dish with nonstick – or grease and flour to prep the dish.

To prepare the manicotti shell filling:
Squeeze thawed spinach to drain excess moisture. Spread it out on paper towel, pat dry. Mix spinach, cottage cheese, mushrooms, 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, nutmeg and pepper in a mixing bowl.

Putting it all together:
Use one cup of the beef to line the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Fill manicotti shells with spinach mixture. Place the shells on top of the beef mixture in dish. Pour remaining beef mixture evenly over shells. Try to get the shells completely covered. Sprinkle liberally with mozzarella cheese and 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese.

Cover and bake 30 minutes. Uncover and bake 20 to 25 minutes longer or until hot and bubbly.

erica with the littleErica H. Wearing has been a stylist for over 16 years and she absolutely loves what she does . “It’s a great feeling to help people feel and look their best when they leave my chair. I wouldn’t trade this for any other job in the world!”
Check out Erica at Ka!Boom Hair Salon 1129 West Pender Street, Vancouver B.C .
(604)681-6003

alissia marciano hairbyericaw

My name is “NO”

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

sullivan noOn mommy’s agenda for me today:
  • getting dressed
  • going to school
  • eating dinner
  • bath
  • bedtime.

Um, no. I will not be doing any of that. At least, not with any discernible amount of ease.

GETTING DRESSED

I know that I wear the same uniform every day, and most days I’m cool with it. But today, I don’t know… I’m just feeling like it’s a pyjamas-to-school-type day. No, not these pyjamas on my body, Dunderklumpen. I want to wear the pyjamas at the bottom of my dirty laundry hamper.

Why?

Because they’re friggin’ COOL. You might not remember what cool feels like because your fashion criteria is whether or not your leggings roll down and you think musical ingenuity ended in the 80’s.

I don’t give a rat’s a** what the weather is outside. I will wear the exact opposite. I will also wear my pants and/or shirt backwards because I am expressing myself. I am an individual who will not live under your Reich of conformity. I also have first rights of refusal regarding outerwear. You can be sure I will complain about being cold and that my pants are falling down. Because, individual.

GOING TO SCHOOL

Give me the keys, please. You know the drill. I press the buttons to open all the doors (yes, even the trunk). You may have them back once I’ve shut all the doors and locked everyone inside. Just because you drive like Hunter S. Thompson on a bender doesn’t mean we all have a death wish. I’m concerned about safety.

You’re welcome.

(After school)

So, about today. I may or may not have licked my friend’s face at lunch. I was pretending to be a puppy. You know, a small, warm, furry pile of love that I want more than the very oxygen I breathe but you say we can’t have because you have “allergies” and basically don’t care about my happiness?

Also, the teacher got a bit annoyed because for the fourth time this week, I brought in a piece of paper with random letters typed on it for show-and-tell, which apparently only happens on Mondays. Pfft. They’ll all regret not basking in my genius and technical prowess. I know how to use a computer. I am the future.

EATING DINNER

It smells nice in here! No doubt some healthy concoction of proteins, carbs and veggies. Chicken? Isn’t that the animal on my Fisher Price See ‘N Say farm toy? Are you suggesting that I eat the cute, smiling cartoon animal? Everywhere a tsk tsk.  You say I like chicken? Come on poo monkey, chicken is so five seconds ago.

Unless it’s nuggets. I like those.

Besides, chicken nuggets aren’t really chicken, that’s just a name, like eggplant or…soup. You’re a dummy.

(Ten minutes after dinner is finished.)

I want macaroni. I want MACARONI. I WA-A-A-A-A-A-ANT MACARONI!!

What the hell is wrong with you? I HATE macaroni! I want cookies!

BATHROOM BREAK (Not on the list but the four year old is nothing if not flexible when it comes to routine and schedule. Sorry, I tried to keep a straight face.)

I don’t have to wash my hands after I use the toilet, because I never touched my thingie and I even wiped up the floor pee with your face towel so I never touched anything. Besides, I washed my hands two days ago, so they’re practically like new. I have bacteria on my hands? That sounds like a word you made up. I’mma smell my fingers and very likely put them in my mouth. Just to be sure.

BATH

A bath? Sure, I’m down with a bath. Here is my list of demands:

a) I get into the tub first. I don’t care if the baby gets undressed faster and has to stand there while I spend the next 10 minutes running around naked screaming “I have a penis!” I don’t care if the bathwater goes tepid. If anyone starts bathing before I get into the bath, my head will explode and you will have to clean it up and you’ll be sorry.

b) I am in charge of putting all the tub toys into the tub.

Every. Single. One.

c) I will not be washing my hair. I washed it last week and it’s fine. If you come at me with the shampoo I will literally flip my s**t and try to drown you. The baby, however, looks dirty and needs a shampoo. I will conduct the rinsing. I’m holding him under to rinse out the shampoo. This is called rinsing. He’s rinsed when he starts to panic a little. Can you please tell him not to be such a big baby?

BEDTIME

I want 2 books. No wait, 5 books. No wait, I’ll just pile up all the books. Wait, I don’t want to read a story anymore. I want to play with the Gro Clock. What do you mean I broke it? I just took off the back panel to see what the buttons did. What shoddy manufacturing! I have a curious mind, I’m thirsty for knowledge! Speaking of thirsty, I want a drink. I know very well that “bedtime” is what you call the bottle of red stuff on the counter. Before you get to the bottom of your “bottle of feigned happiness and forgotten dreams”, where’s my drink? I want water in a cup with a lid, but just to make things interesting, I have no intention of telling you which cup I want, and will only yell “no” at each selection until your eye starts twitching. Then I’ll get bored of the game. Also, I’m laughing at you because I’m not even thirsty.

(Two hours later)

By the way, even asleep I know you’re crazy about me. See you tomorrow.

Love, the Despot.

 

 

Father’s Day gifts from the kiddos’ POV

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Daddy .

I remember being a kid and thinking that it was really important to go shopping for Father’s Day – a special mission. Every year we’d get my dad the exact same thing – a soap-on-a-rope and a box of turtles chocolates. It couldn’t be Father’s Day without those 2 things. (In fact, it couldn’t be his birthday without those gifts.) Every year he’d unwrap his soap and chocolates with eager excitement and anticipation – and it made us so happy to see how much he loved his gifts.

It’s funny, because looking back on the experience, if it had been any normal man I’d have said that he was just being kind to play it up to make us feel good – but my dad was not normal.

Not in any sense of the word.

He loved his soap-on-a-rope and he loved turtles. These he considered it a special treat. He could well afford to go out and buy himself anything he wanted, but he didn’t. Soap-on-a-rope and turtles were prizes, gifts, and he’d wait – for Father’s Day, his birthday,  – and then revel. The turtles would last all of five minutes, but that soap – it and its rope would be savored down to the last sud.

It’s funny little rituals, odd little quirks, unique and individual personality traits that make our parents so dear to us. My dad is gone, but those memories are as vivid today as they were the day they were made.

Now that I have my own family, we have our own traditions. Over the years the boys have picked out different things for dad. He loves the things they pick out. Whether it’s something he can use or something he’ll never open, he cherishes those gifts because they come from his kids’ hearts. While I like to believe I’m a good gift giver and that I help steer the kids in the right direction, I think they could give him lumps of coal and he’d be happy, because those lumps of coal were chosen especially for him by his most favourite people in the whole world.

I guess that’s why my dad was never faking the happiness over his soap-on-a-rope and chocolate, why he actually savoured every last sud. It was never about the soap.

Insert epiphany here, lol.

We thought it would be fun to find out what some of Urban Suburban Mommy’s contributor’s children (who range in age from infants to teenagers) wanted to get dad for Father’s Day.

Lifestyle contributor Krista Holmes
Tyson, 2 year old

I asked Tyson (keeping in mind he is not yet 2 and more than 2 words is considered a win!) and he said “ish” which means FISH, and boat….these 2 things will make his Dad incredibly happy as other than hunting, fishing is his favourite past time (and he’s shopping for a new bass boat).

tyson and dad

Parenting expert Lauren Millman
The kids

Because daddy works so hard we want to give daddy a day off and we just want him to relax and eat and sleep. And maybe play a game or two with us. And he can have all the ice-cream he wants,  and Mom, you can take his phone and computer and not give it back to him until the next morning.

Lifestyle contributor Alexis Nicols

Nate (4): A giraffe.

Me: A giraffe?!? Honey, wouldn’t that be too big for the house?

Nate: (Sigh) OK fine mommy. A cat. He wants a pet cat.

(It should be mentioned that Nate wants a pet cat.)

Ben (17 months): Bah. (Translation: “After much soul searching, I’ve determined that our father would greatly appreciate a power-tool of some kind. However, I believe that the buying of “things” does not fill the existential void in one’s soul. Therefore, I would bestow upon our father the gifts of joy, love, peace and clarity. Also, I just pooped.”)

Editor Elisa Keay
The boys, 8 and 6 years old

The 8 year old wants to get his dad a car. Dad’s car is on its last legs and our Urban Daddy has dreams of a brand new… minivan. It’s not something I can get excited about, but the fam loves to pile in for drive-in movies and he really does love driving his minivan. The little guy even remembered to ask for it to have stow-and-go seats. And it has to have a drink spot beside his seat too. Kids.

The 6 year old wants to get dad Lego. Star Wars Lego. He has some Star Wars Lego and has agreed that Dad needs to put it together with him, but he has decided that he should buy his dad a really really big Star Wars Lego set so that they can do it together. And he will keep it in his room, nice and safe – for Dad.

…I may actually have to buy Star Wars Lego for Father’s Day. I’m not buying a minivan, that’s for sure.

Editor Michelle’s Daides
4 year old son

Me: What do you want to get Daddy for father’s day?

E: A plastic spider.

Me: Are you sure?

E: No wait, wait. I know he loves music. A musical CD.

Instead, we decided on a special dance for you – Daddy, you are worth it! xo

[wpvideo oS5wrWU2]

 

Can a mama get a minute for herself?

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I had all the time in the world before I had kids. I had no IDEA how much free time I had, how much time I wasted doing literally nothing.

Now, free time is counted in the gaps between moments, where things still have to get done, but there is a little less…panic? Cacaphony? These are the moments when chores become luxuries and my to-do list becomes an opportunity to have time for myself. Below are some moments I never categorized as “free time” pre-kids, but now look forward to:

Going to the grocery store

When I was pregnant with my second, everyone would wake up super-early on Saturday mornings. My husband would take my oldest to soccer class (it should be noted that no actual soccer was played, but there was a lot of running, followed by chasing and herding) and I would go to Loblaws and buy groceries.

It was pure delight.

The glass doors would breeze open and I’d saunter in with my cart empty and my head full of tranquility. I took my time, wandering up and down the aisles, reading labels, picking things up, putting them back, or not. I’d meander around that store with a big stupid grin on my face. The cashiers must have thought I was nuts. For 45 minutes there would be no gauntlet, no mad dash to grab a few necessities à la Hunger Games. No screaming, no crying, no begging for chocolate at the checkout line (FYI, Loblaws? Putting candy at the checkout line? Genius, keeping the crack at the crackhead’s eye level. Bravo, well played.) For 45 minutes, I had all the time in the world.

Cleaning the basement

My husband took a week off to clean our basement to prepare for a small reno (read: we’re finishing the basement so that the Suicide Squad of cars, Lego blocks and tiny plastic toys that threaten my life on the daily will have a final resting place, other than under my feet or in my jugular.) He spent every day lugging, grunting and shuffling boxes and bins, deciding what stays and what goes, hauling everything up the stairs, and then back down again. All I could think to myself was “Lucky”.

Going to work

I’ve always liked my job, but never really saw it as a place to “escape” to. However, there are mornings where the kids are full of crazy and I can’t get them to my parents’ place fast enough.

I get to work early, and not only is the silence golden, but the perks are endless: completing a task, finishing an email, drinking hot coffee, going out for lunch, having discussions with grown-ups about topics other than projectile vomiting and daycare.

If you don’t work out of an office, I highly recommend that you construct a mini lean-to in your living room and just sit there with your laptop for an hour or so each day.

And now for the things I didn’t even know qualified as “free time” until they were taken away from me:

Being sick

It sure doesn’t sound luxurious, but pre-kids, I remember taking a sick day.

A. Whole. Day. To just be sick.

I could stay home, sleep, eat soup and take cough medicine. Today, there is no such luxury. For my oldest, daytime is awake time and those frozen waffles aren’t gonna toast themselves. I get a sick “15 minutes” if I’m lucky. There are no more “days off” when I’m not feeling well. It’s get up, suck it up, and get out the door. Oh, and try not to black out while driving.

Going to the bathroom – alone

I used to have an air of mystery about me. There were certain private indignities that I kept private because they were, well…undignified. Now that there are three men in the house, my secret garden is not so secret, and my toilet activities are not only available for public viewing, but are subject to a rating system. I tried locking the door…once. Based on the screaming and banging, I suspect they thought I had disappeared into a black hole and wasn’t ever coming back. And then who would have made toaster waffles?

Phone calls

Imagine you’re taking a very important phone call. Let’s say you’re trying to schedule a mover, book a doctor’s appointment and get your car seen by the mechanic because it’s making that Bloods vs Crips gangland noise under the hood again. Now cradle the phone in your neck, because someone has just handed you a wet, sticky washcloth in one hand, and a sticky toddler in your other arm (note: toddler will be reaching a pitch that only dogs and bats can hear because Newton’s fourth unpublished law states that a matter of urgency is equal to the volume your children will hit so that you can’t accomplish it.)

Still with me? Good.

Now wipe the toddler’s face and hands while perching on one leg like a stork, because your oldest child is pretending to be the “bad guy” while ramming your leg with his Fisher Price fire truck. Oh, you need to give a credit card number over the phone? Good. Now take an air horn and blast it against your other ear. That’s your oldest who, in perfecting his comedy of pain, is now screaming because you’ve diverted your attention for all of 15 seconds.

Feel free to cry at this point.

I’m in a brave new world, one where getting a root canal is considered a “spa day” and business calls are taken semi-dressed and covered in food residue. Though I’ve traded “free time” for phases of indentured servitude, I try to be present in the little moments before they’re gone, even the less-cherishable ones. I’d hate to look back and think that I didn’t enjoy the spaces in between the madness.

To quote Into The Woods:

Let the moment go…
Don’t forget it for a moment, though.

 

The mom bod

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Saggy breasts. Tummy pooch. Thunder thighs. Tiger stripes.

I think – I know – there was a time in my life that these things would have really bothered me. In fact, I remember times – pre-motherhood – that I thought my beautiful body was less than perfect. My 27 year old self liked short skirts and high heels and used all of that cleavage to her advantage.

Now, I embrace my mom bod. I’m not my pre-preg weight, and that’s okay. I’m working towards being healthy – that’s my goal. Those stretch marks and lines that grew with each baby in my belly? I’m good. This bod has served me well and I’m keeping it – stripes or no stripes – although I just might skip this summer’s short-shorts craze.

The saggy boobs? When you’re bigger than a DD, it’s just inevitable, right?

(I remember once someone telling me about the pencil test, now I understand.)

I was supposed to get a breast reduction before I had kids because of back issues. The doctor convinced me that I’d want to wait until after having kids because it might interfere with breastfeeding. Joke’s on me – I wasn’t a really good lactater, these boobies are just for show! I could have eased the strain on my back 10 years ago!

I have to admit, a boob job just might be in my future. Slightly smaller, slightly (ha ha, “slightly”) perkier. While I don’t feel any shame or embarrassment over my mom bod, I don’t see why there’s any shame in changing things either. Why is there a stigma about tummy tucks and lipo and botox, for that matter? Why shouldn’t we ditch the veins and plump things up if we want? Why shouldn’t we accept who we are, embrace ourselves as mothers and feel free to do what we want and look the way we want?

I say “Raise ’em and tuck ’em, if you got ’em.”

(No, I don’t actually say it, but I’m going to start.)

I’ve talked to too many moms that aren’t happy with their bodies. Sometimes it’s that breasts got smaller, asses got flatter or things just aren’t where they should be. Frankly, I’ve got way too much to do in my day to waste time on my waistline woes. Accept it or change it – those should be the only two options. Dwelling – that’s not a real option, that’s just a way to make yourself more self-conscious.

You know what self-consciousness leads to? It leads to all of those family photos without mom – or with mom grudgingly appearing, hiding in the background because she isn’t comfortable with herself. It leads to mom not wanting to spend the day by the pool or at the beach. Or sitting covered up in a 10,000° heatwave instead of running around and playing.

Frolicking.

Comfort. Confidence.

Now reality may have to set in for some. I don’t have the energy to go back to being a size 6, but having kids is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my whole life, and my mom bod is proof of that, with every line, curve and added shoe size that came with each baby.

(Actually, I think I’m most upset about the change in shoe size. Carrying those boys somehow pushed my feet up to an 11. This does not make for a happy shoe shopping experience, never mind my beautiful collection that no longer fit. I can only hope they went to a dancing queen and socialite that put them all to good use. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about the feet, so I had to switch from shoes to purses.)

Find beauty in your mom bod. You earned it for the most wonderful reasons of all.

We all go through it and there’s a wonderful blog that explores everything about the post-pregnancy body. Visit The Shape of a Mother to see how beautifully and perfectly imperfect the mom bod truly is.

Sweet caramel apple crumble

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .

I love this recipe. I learned it as a very young child and have grown up making it. It’s a staple part of our Thanksgiving dinner, but it’s really one of those desserts  you can enjoy any time of year. I find it so quick and easy to throw together, and there’s no need for precision on this. You need more sugar if you like it sweet – less sugar if you don’t. Either way, it’s still pretty sweet as you need the sugar to caramelize.

Word of warning – you’re going to get the recipe the way my mom taught it to me – with pinches and handfuls instead of cups and teaspoons, though I’ll try to give some approximation. Do not be scared off of making this. It’s an easy recipe with only a few ingredients and it really can’t be ruined regardless of the varying amounts. Seriously. Just fine tune it to make it your own.

What you need:

– 3 to 4 handfuls of quick oats
– 1 cup butter
– 6 to 7 nice apples – I like a mix of gala, empire, mac, spy – peeled, cored and sliced thin
– 4 to 5 pinches cinnamon
– dash of vanilla
– 3 handfuls brown sugar
– 2 handfuls white sugar
– 3 pinches salt
– flour as needed

What you do:

Preheat oven to 325°. In a big bowl mix half of the sugar, 3 to 4 pinches of cinnamon, 2 pinches salt, apples, vanilla and 3 to 4 pinches of flour. Toss it all until the apples are well coated. If your apples are very juicy and you find there’s a lot of liquid, add a few more pinches of flour until the mix is a bit dryer – but not to the point where all the liquid has become a paste.

Put the mixture into a 9 by 13 baking dish or a deep, large pie dish.

In a fresh bowl: Add the butter, a pinch of salt, a pinch or two of cinnamon, three handfuls of oats and the remaining sugar. Get in there and start pinching and twisting the butter into the other ingredients. This delicious buttery sugary mixture will start to clump up. Keep going until all the butter is broken in. The friction that you create with the pinching helps the butter melt into the oats and gets the whole mix combined. If the mixture seems too buttery you can add more oats. More buttery or more oats – you can’t really go wrong.

Cover the apple mixture with the oat mixture and put it into the oven. It takes 45 minutes to an hour, your nose will tell you it’s done. But you can leave it longer. The longer it sits in the oven the more the butter and sugar will caramelize. That caramelization is sooooooo delish.

Let cool for 10 minutes and serve with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

 

Don’t you love the unsolicited advice?

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

For me, the most annoying part of parenthood has nothing to do with how to raise my children and everything to do with everyone else’s opinion of how to raise my children.

I’d be giving my baby a bottle, and perfect strangers would tell me “You should give breastfeeding a chance.”

I struggled with extremely low milk production caused by a medical issue – people would tell me not to put so much effort into pumping – that formula would be fine.

One person said “They should sleep on the tummy” while the next article insisted back-sleeping for infants.

Time-outs are good. Time-outs are damaging their confidence.

Put them to bed early. Put them to bed late. Add Omega 3, stop adding it…

AAAAAHHHHHRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH

It’s no wonder that we have these poor moms in every mommy group on Facebook (and there are hundreds of these groups) crowdsourcing Every. Single. Thing. Which formula is the purest? Should I put my toddler in Nike or New Balance runners? My baby sneezed, should I go to the emergency?

All of this unsolicited parenting advice is turning all but the most confident people into jittery parents who constantly second guess themselves and don’t have any faith in their own parenting instincts any more.

I was just out with my friend Carol – a mom of three boys and a well-loved mommy blogger, friend, and founder of Plenty, and we were commiserating. It’s not just “boy mom” stuff, because I know that there are some little girls that are a serious handful. It’s not just a “mom-of-2” thing or a “mom-of-3” thing – because there are parents of singletons that have way more than enough to handle with just one, but let’s face it. Two or three rambunctious little boys only two years apart is a much different parenting experience than a quiet, well-behaved singleton.

We shared a laugh at some of the unsolicited advice we’d recently received.

“Put them on a schedule” she chided. “Like ‘OOOHHHHH! I never thought of that!’ Don’t they think that if it worked for my family I’d have done that?” I countered with “Well I just expect my child to listen to me. They know what I will tolerate and what’s not allowed.”

Yes, seriously, we laughed and laughed.

And while whatever works for your family is fine, we, as parents, are all just trying to survive our offspring.

Good for you if you have a child that will come, go, listen and obey “because you say so” but that doesn’t fly with my 6 year old son that I’ve always (lovingly) called “The Triplets” because I feel like he’s the effort and has the energy of at least three. Every family is so different. Sure, there are truisms – like “if you don’t want cavities your kid should brush and floss after every meal” but schedules, sleep routines, discipline, feeding issues and other dynamics are very individual.

We’re all special snowflakes.

Carol and I laughed as we compared notes on the things we’d been told by parents, friends – even childless friends – and more.

If you still don’t understand why I don’t like unsolicited advice, think of it this way: Don’t you hate when millionaires say “It’s easy to make it – if I can do it so can you.” If it were so *effing* easy we’d all be millionaires. I also recall this Beck quote about making music being the most fun job in the world and he didn’t understand why everyone didn’t become a rockstar.

Umm…

It’s all in perspective. Sometimes people that have control of a situation seem to feel the need to tell the less-in-control people how easy it is. There’s no empathy. It really just comes across as people not having a clue.

It’s not easy.

It’s not easy to become a millionaire and not everyone can do it. It’s not easy to become a rockstar and not everyone can do it. It’s not easy to manage children and, well, you know…

I know that friends, family members and colleagues only want to help. Perfect strangers trying to put their two cents in honestly baffle me.

I do have one piece of advice I will give unsolicited when someone I know gets pregnant: You know what you’re doing, don’t take any unsolicited advice.

So take my advice here (😊) the only advice you need is the advice you ask for.

Suburban Mommy Michelle adds: The minute I threw away those parenting books and stopped listening to everybody’s two cents, I became a happier person and a better parent. Go with your gut!

Doing it all: The housewife/working mom edition

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Recently, I asked for help.

That is to say, I hired help.

Once every two weeks, she comes to clean my home from top to bottom. This morning, she eagerly volunteered to clean out my fridge. I can’t stress this enough: someone wants to clean out my fridge, the “cave of edibles from parts unknown.” This marks the second item on a list of things I never thought would happen. At the top of the list was asking for help.

domestic goddess

I officially burned out two months into life post-maternity leave. I felt the signs: heart palpitations, sweats, anxiety, fatigue. I felt it every time I came home from my full time job and looked at the catastrophe that was my living room, every time I couldn’t find something, every time I asked “what did I just step in?” I couldn’t stay on top of dishes, laundry, cooking, groceries, vacuuming. I couldn’t enjoy time with my kids because I was busy scurrying around trying to straighten up – a task that was never complete. I felt like I was trying to put out a forest fire with a garden hose attached to a fuel line.

And yet I went a long time before I actually hired someone to help me stay on top of it. I don’t ask for help very well or often (honestly I’d rather give myself a physical using kitchen utensils). I used to judge women who had “hired help”.

“Must be nice,” I’d think, feeling angry and resentful that these women had time to spend with their kids while I was off playing “find the smell.”

I’m not perfect, I still judge people. I’m working on that. It’s on my To Do list, right under deleting Pinterest from my apps.

Let’s get real – most of us have to work. We’ve come to enjoy the finer things in life, like food, shelter and catered birthday parties at Jungle Land. The cost of living in this city is insane – it’s no wonder that double incomes are not always a choice. Certainly not for us. I’m the primary breadwinner AND the default parent. I’ve been trying to manage everything, and ultimately, not managing at all. I don’t “have it all”, I just “do it all.”

And who was I martyring myself for? Was there a prize for shouldering the biggest burden? I was back at work full time and at my full salary. My kids wanted my full attention – I could give it to them. I needed time to myself – I could make it happen. I started putting money aside and found a cleaning lady that I trusted (I’m working on my trust issues. It’s on that list, right under waxing my unmentionables.) I started delegating. I even found a babysitter to come once in a while. You know, so my husband and I can go out, eat hot food and talk about…the kids. We’re working on that.

It’s on the list…

Finger-licking barbecued spareribs

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .

I know we just featured beef ribs last week, but it gave me a craving. So I made Michelle’s Miami Short Ribs for the fam on Thursday. And then they asked for more ribs. But the butcher was out of the beef ribs, so I picked up a rack of back ribs instead. Got home, got them boiling – but when it came time to sauce them and get grilling, I realized I had no sauce. That’s when I learned how to make this finger-licking quick and easy barbecue sauce.

Ribs are, like, the best food ever, according to my 7 year old.

shane eating ribs

What you need:

– 2 racks of pork back ribs – (we prefer back as they’re meatier, but side ribs are much cheaper, either will do

Sauce
– 3/4 cup ketchup
– pinch salt
– teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
– 1 heaping tablespoon brown sugar
– 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
– 2 cloves garlic – pressed
– 1/2 teaspoon mustard powder
– few dashes of paprika
– 2 tablespoons vinegar (white or malt)

Optional: 1/2 teaspoon of cayenne or red chili flakes or teaspoon of habanero sauce or hot sauce for some zing

What you do:

Cut the racks of ribs down to a more manageable size – I like sections of 4-5 ribs. Throw them in a stock pot, cover with water and boil for 30 to 45 minutes. The longer you boil, the more fall-off-the-bone tender they’ll be.

While they’re boiling, grab your biggest bowl and mix all of the ingredients together. Stir and blend well until everything is a smooth liquidy paste.

When boiling is done, lift each portion out of the boiling water, give it a quick shake off, and then toss in the sauce. A wonderful Chef friend once told me the secret is to make sure that the sauce is added while the meat is still at its hottest. The pores are open and suck up all of the sauce for the best flavour, he explained.

I believe him.

A basting brush is always handy for getting the sauce into all of the nooks and crannies, in between bones and on the sides.

Fire up the barbecue. Once it’s hot, throw the ribs on medium flame – or high if you want to do this quickly and be very diligent about the barbecuing, otherwise you’ll burn everything.

Place the ribs bone-side down first so that the saucy, meaty side gets to soak up more sauce as the flames caramelize the sugars in the sauce. As the meat shows signs of cooking, flip each portion. You shouldn’t be seeing black – a bit is fine – but the sauce will have darkened. Brush an extra layer of sauce on. Repeat, flipping 2 to 3 times. The more layers of sauce that caramelize on, the better!

To serve, cut the racks into single ribs and let the crowd have at ’em.

10 Questions that will help you hire a babysitter

Posted on by Posted in 10 Questions With .

Every parent needs a night out – a night off! It’s hard to decide who to have watch your kids, and it may be an expense you’re not sure about, so Urban Suburban Mommy caught up with Martha Scully of Sitter.com – one of the largest online caregiver resources in North America – to ask all those questions about finding a sitter that you know you want to know but just can’t find the right person to ask.

1.  Do babysitters charge by the child – or is it a flat rate per hour, regardless?

Most babysitters charge an hourly rate.  Rates tend to change based on the experience of the babysitter.  A parent should always look for an experienced babysitter, if the child is an Infant/Toddler or has any type of special needs.  If there are 3 children or more in the family, an experienced babysitter should always be the choice.

2. Can you expect the babysitter to watch more than one family?  For example, if the kids have friends sleep over, or if the parents go out with other parents and expect the sitter to watch the kids of both families?

It would not be uncommon for a family to ask a babysitter to care for a friend’s children, too, while they go out.  The parent should definitely ask the sitter if this is okay first.  A few things with this: 1) The babysitter should be paid more when they are asked to do this.  2) The sitter should not be asked to do any other duties within the home like cleaning and the meal should already be prepared or take out – like pizza.

3. Should I hire a kid or an adult?

If you have a child under the age of three, it is highly recommended to hire an individual over 18 years old.  All babysitters should have emergency first aid training, regardless of age.

4. Are babies more expensive – and can parents expect the babysitter to change diapers or do feedings?

A parent should always have an experienced sitter for an infant. Experienced babysitters usually charge more. If a babysitter is hired to care for an infant, they should be expected to change diapers, feed, and provide a safe environment.

5. When should I cancel a babysitter if my kid is sick?

If your child is ill, it is always best to cancel the babysitter.  This is especially true when a child has an illness that maybe contagious, or may require additional medical care.

6. Can a babysitter give medication – from Tylenol if the kid feels unwell to prescription medicines left by the family to be administered?

It is not ideal that they do, but yes they can administer medicine.  The parent should give written and verbal direction on how to administer the medication. This is at the babysitter’s discretion – if they’re not comfortable doing so they have the right to refuse.

7. If the kids are asleep and the babysitter is there to watch TV and have snacks is it fair to pay the babysitter less for ‘just hanging out’? Do babysitters expect to be paid more if the kids are up and need to be engaged the whole time?

Usually the babysitter feels that her (his) time is her (his) time, so she (he) should be paid the same regardless if the child is sleeping or not. Some babysitters may expect to be paid more for very late hours (after midnight).

8. Is it okay to ask a babysitter to do light chores – dishes, light cleaning?

It is normal for a babysitter to: tidy areas she has been, unload a dishwasher, fold laundry, and other very light house keeping duties.  It would be unusual for a babysitter to do any heavy cleaning unless they had agreed to ahead of time.  This usually would require additional pay.

9. Do babysitters expect to be picked up and dropped off, or is that the babysitter’s responsibility?

Yes, if they are a younger babysitter the parents of the babysitter would expect that you provide a way for them to get home.

10. What should people ask of a new sitter in terms of experience, training, credentials, references?

A babysitter should be interviewed in person and asked a mix of questions related to experience with children, safety, and interest in the position.  Scenario based questions and answers allow the parent the ability to see if they have the common sense needed to care for children.

Urban Suburban Mommy adds:

Ultimately, you need to be comfortable and confident with the person who will be looking after your children. Word of mouth is always popular, and many people also look for a family friend, but agencies are also a great way to find a professional sitter. You can ask for credentials, and you can also ask to do background checks, ask to see qualifications like first aid and police clearance – yes, when it comes to looking after your children, you can dig as deep as will make you feel comfortable, within reason. You may also want to consider utilizing a nanny-cam for that added assurance. Remember, there’s a fine line between being careful and being neurotic – though as a parent, that’s your prerogative.

Establish the expected rate ahead of your first outing – we haven’t given any dollar figures because they vary from city to county and region to region, making expectations very different depending on your location. You may find that less experienced or younger sitters charge less, while the pros, like Registered Nurses and ECE-qualified sitters, charge more. You can simply ask whether they expect transportation or whether they’ll provide their own. It is customary to provide snacks and beverages, as well as meals if the time frame includes customary meal hours. It’s also customary to tip – usually an amount equivalent to half an hour.

Most importantly, find someone your children like. It will be easier for you to leave, comfortably, knowing your children are happy spending time with this person. Interview the person in your home if you can and see how they interact with your children.

And then go out! You deserve it!!!

martha - oct 2008 250

Martha Scully has worked in Child Care industry for over 20 years. She is the Sitter.com Child Care Expert for North America. To learn more please go to Sitter.com

Urban Suburban Daddy’s 10 tips to get your backyard space ready for entertaining

Posted on by Posted in DIY, Urban Suburban Daddy .

You can just smell summer in the air, and before you know – it’s here. It’s practically the end of May, it’s time to get your backyard/entertaining spaces ready.  Our Suburban Daddy has some great tips:

1. Power Wash

The snow and/or rain probably left some mud and dirt in your garden.  It’s time to freshen up your space by cleaning it up first with a little power washing.  It makes such a difference and can be done pretty quickly with a power washer like the one I have (I bought a Simoniz).  In addition to washing your deck and/or patio stones, give your outdoor table and chairs and good washing too.

2. Clean your barbecue and make sure it’s filled with propane

There are a few mid- to high-end brands out there. Weber is my go-to Weber Genesis S330

There are a few mid- to high-end brands out there. Weber is my go-to for grilling Weber Genesis S330

Now that your sleeves are all ready rolled up, make sure to give your bbq a good scrub. Remove the grills and scrub them down with a good sponge, soap and water.  You can use a scraper for any stuck-on guck. Once your barbecue is shining again, make sure to fill your propane tank.  Nothing is more embarrassing than firing up the grill for guests – only to find your tank is empty.

3. Wall planters brigthen your backyard with colour

Buy wall planters with annuals that are perfect for your outdoor space – check out whether it is shaded, partial sun or full sun, and buy accordingly. If you go to your local nursery, they will advise you on the best plants or flowers for your space. You can purchase flower boxes made of different materials such as plastic, resin or cedar that you can reuse every year.  Plant new arrangements of flowers. If you want to get handy about it and also save a bit of cash, you can build your own planters.

4. Reconfigure your patio furniture

Change up the way you place your patio furniture. Switch it up every year.  If you are going to buy new furniture, invest in pieces that can play double duty. You want both conversation areas as well as eating areas. Buy a sofa/chair and ottoman that could also be used as a table for outdoor eating. Get the comfy stuff, something you can really settle into after taking care of the yard work.

5. Light up the sky with solar power

We just bought two sets of 4 solar powered outdoor lights that we attached to the posts of our fence. They were about $30.00 from Costo per pack.  They are beautiful and are cost effective since they’re powered by the sun. They add ambience to our outdoor space.

6. Frame your space with an outdoor carpet

Outdoor carpets are available in so many different colours and patterns. You can place your patio furniture on the corners of your carpet to frame your space. The carpet will also add an element of coziness to your backyard.

7. Shoo those bugs away with citronella

Discovered this local artisan - Going Au Naturel - and her products are incredible. This citronella candle is exactly what a backyard get-together needs

Discovered this local artisan at a market – Au Naturel – the products are incredible. This citronella ecosoya Bug Be Gone candle is exactly what any backyard get-together needs

Use long Citronella candles or torches that you can bury in your grass to shoo those mosquitos away.  Or you can buy table top citronella candles that you can place on your outdoor table.

8. Build a firepit

If your space allows, build a fire pit or buy a contained fire pit or chiminea available at the local big box store. The fire pit will provide warmth and style at the same time.

9. Decorate

Choose a colour palette and theme.  What feeling are your trying to evoke? We are big fans of a peaceful space so our backyard yard is decorated with a big Buddha head and lanterns.

10. Your summer playlist

I’m a DJ – and while you may not have your own resident DJ, you can definitely set up your mixes and beats. Maybe it’s house music, maybe it’s classic rock or modern pop, invest in whatever moves you.

JBL.png

Assemble your summer playlist.  Invest in bluetooth wireless speakers like the JBL’s and play music from your phone or iPod.

Now pour yourself a cold one, sit back and relax.