Urban Suburban Mommy

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Back-to-School: Bliss or bittersweet?

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real, Urban Suburban Mommy .

Something happens around this time every summer. Summer camp wraps up, bathing suits are looking worse for wear, Halloween candy starts appearing in the grocery store and back-to-school shopping and lunch ideas overwhelm Pinterest and Instagram. Whether you’re a stay-at-home or a working mom, there’s no denying it, summer is coming to a close. Labour Day weekend will be the last hurrah, and then school routines will start up.

But is the start of school bliss? Or is it bittersweet?

Ah yes, the fond/painful memories of drop-offs and pick-ups, the struggle of coming up with lunch ideas the kids will eat – and the expensive lunchware to send it in. The school supplies, the long pants, the battle-cry of homework challengs and the indoor/outdoor shoes – is it all rushing back in one shot?

This is the first time in 16 years that I’ve spent a summer not working (aside from mat leave, which really doesn’t count – it’s a haze of new motherhood that I can barely remember). Most years I didn’t feel the summer/back-to-school shift as significantly as I do this year. My boys were always in daycare through the summer, so the routine didn’t change much and the hours didn’t change at all.

But this year is different. There are two types of moms in this world: The ones who are grateful for the return to school and the ones who are sad to see September come. I can’t decide which team I’m on.

It’s a serious “You know I love my children, but…” moment. So many moms feeling they survived another summer, glad to have made it to the first-day-of-school finish line. Truth is, it’s not easy to look after your own kids 24/7, having to decide the programming, the meals, the outings, the playdates, the structure and unstructure of two hot months of summer.

It really isn’t easy.

Kids like routine, and the freedom that summer brings is a bit overwhelming. Some weekends are more than I can handle, so doing it for weeks and months at a time?

Exhausting is a word that comes to mind.

And then there are the other mothers – those sad to see it end. Maybe their kids are easy, or maybe it’s that the dynamic works for those moms. They genuinely look forward to the two intense months of summer fundom. Maybe they’re better planners? Maybe they just groove more smoothly, roll with the punches more elegantly or are able to tune out the whine of a kid who has too many toys yet still can’t find anything to do.

Maybe it’s magic. Who knows.

I don’t mention this as yet another form of mom-shaming. Quite the opposite, actually. I mention it because the mom I aspire to be and the mom I am are not quite the same thing, and I’m okay with it. There’s nothing wrong with having survived a summer and happily sending your child off to school, and there’s nothing wrong with lamenting the end of family fundays either.

In this, my one summer of stay-at-home-momness, I enrolled my boys into 6 weeks of summer camp, however, I let them stay home two or three days a week. I let them sleep in and go late. I picked them up early. Some days we had fun and some days they had fun without me. It took the pressure off of having to plan and program, and added balance to my time with them – and their time with me!

Apparently it’s not easy on the kids to be with their parents 24/7 either.

So I lament a little. I have put off buying that second pair of “indoor” shoes, and won’t pull the backpacks and lunch boxes out of summer storage until Labour Day weekend. I’m hearing the rumblings of back-to-school, and as it approaches, I’m trying to figure out which team I’m on.

TLC’s Sunday Brunch Host Ereka Vetrini chats must have products to survive school days

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

We at Urban Suburban Mommy are always grateful and excited to speak to experts and celebrities and share our interviews with our readers. We recently spoke with TLC’s Sunday Brunch Host Ereka Vetrini via a video chat.  Ereka highlighted her round up of must have products to survive school days.  It’s always helpful to get expert advice because there are so many different products on the market.  I personally find it overwhelming as I scour the aisles in the grocery store to find the best snack or treat. The true test – if my son agrees AND actually eats it. Ereka offers insights on everything from finding the perfect lunch snack to capturing memories to staying clean.  We already love some of these awesome brands and can’t wait to try some of essentials that Ereka suggests. Have a watch!

Ereka Vetrini is a TV Host, Lifestyle Expert, Brand Spokesperson, Producer, Blogger and proud mom of two! Tune-in to TLC Sunday Brunch on Sunday mornings as Ereka brings you the very best brunch & cocktail recipes, styling tips and so much more! Ereka is also the host of Lifetime’s Access Health where her and her team bring you the latest cutting-edge developments and innovations in medicine, nutrition and fitness, so women everywhere can take charge of their health, starting today! As the TV spokesperson for AllRecipes magazine, you can catch her in the kitchen at The Today Show, Meredith Vieira Show and The Better Show where she cooks up recipes created by home cooks from across the country. Ereka was the host of Easy Does It on Yahoo! where she interviewed authors, experts and celebrities to uncover everything you need to know about how to simplify family life. As a mother of two, Ereka enjoys spending every spare minute running after her 1st grader and preschooler. Check out her blog BeYOUtifulmoms.com to see how she balances it all and deals with her daily dose of mom guilt.

Back to School Essentials

My name is “NO”

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

sullivan noOn mommy’s agenda for me today:
  • getting dressed
  • going to school
  • eating dinner
  • bath
  • bedtime.

Um, no. I will not be doing any of that. At least, not with any discernible amount of ease.

GETTING DRESSED

I know that I wear the same uniform every day, and most days I’m cool with it. But today, I don’t know… I’m just feeling like it’s a pyjamas-to-school-type day. No, not these pyjamas on my body, Dunderklumpen. I want to wear the pyjamas at the bottom of my dirty laundry hamper.

Why?

Because they’re friggin’ COOL. You might not remember what cool feels like because your fashion criteria is whether or not your leggings roll down and you think musical ingenuity ended in the 80’s.

I don’t give a rat’s a** what the weather is outside. I will wear the exact opposite. I will also wear my pants and/or shirt backwards because I am expressing myself. I am an individual who will not live under your Reich of conformity. I also have first rights of refusal regarding outerwear. You can be sure I will complain about being cold and that my pants are falling down. Because, individual.

GOING TO SCHOOL

Give me the keys, please. You know the drill. I press the buttons to open all the doors (yes, even the trunk). You may have them back once I’ve shut all the doors and locked everyone inside. Just because you drive like Hunter S. Thompson on a bender doesn’t mean we all have a death wish. I’m concerned about safety.

You’re welcome.

(After school)

So, about today. I may or may not have licked my friend’s face at lunch. I was pretending to be a puppy. You know, a small, warm, furry pile of love that I want more than the very oxygen I breathe but you say we can’t have because you have “allergies” and basically don’t care about my happiness?

Also, the teacher got a bit annoyed because for the fourth time this week, I brought in a piece of paper with random letters typed on it for show-and-tell, which apparently only happens on Mondays. Pfft. They’ll all regret not basking in my genius and technical prowess. I know how to use a computer. I am the future.

EATING DINNER

It smells nice in here! No doubt some healthy concoction of proteins, carbs and veggies. Chicken? Isn’t that the animal on my Fisher Price See ‘N Say farm toy? Are you suggesting that I eat the cute, smiling cartoon animal? Everywhere a tsk tsk.  You say I like chicken? Come on poo monkey, chicken is so five seconds ago.

Unless it’s nuggets. I like those.

Besides, chicken nuggets aren’t really chicken, that’s just a name, like eggplant or…soup. You’re a dummy.

(Ten minutes after dinner is finished.)

I want macaroni. I want MACARONI. I WA-A-A-A-A-A-ANT MACARONI!!

What the hell is wrong with you? I HATE macaroni! I want cookies!

BATHROOM BREAK (Not on the list but the four year old is nothing if not flexible when it comes to routine and schedule. Sorry, I tried to keep a straight face.)

I don’t have to wash my hands after I use the toilet, because I never touched my thingie and I even wiped up the floor pee with your face towel so I never touched anything. Besides, I washed my hands two days ago, so they’re practically like new. I have bacteria on my hands? That sounds like a word you made up. I’mma smell my fingers and very likely put them in my mouth. Just to be sure.

BATH

A bath? Sure, I’m down with a bath. Here is my list of demands:

a) I get into the tub first. I don’t care if the baby gets undressed faster and has to stand there while I spend the next 10 minutes running around naked screaming “I have a penis!” I don’t care if the bathwater goes tepid. If anyone starts bathing before I get into the bath, my head will explode and you will have to clean it up and you’ll be sorry.

b) I am in charge of putting all the tub toys into the tub.

Every. Single. One.

c) I will not be washing my hair. I washed it last week and it’s fine. If you come at me with the shampoo I will literally flip my s**t and try to drown you. The baby, however, looks dirty and needs a shampoo. I will conduct the rinsing. I’m holding him under to rinse out the shampoo. This is called rinsing. He’s rinsed when he starts to panic a little. Can you please tell him not to be such a big baby?

BEDTIME

I want 2 books. No wait, 5 books. No wait, I’ll just pile up all the books. Wait, I don’t want to read a story anymore. I want to play with the Gro Clock. What do you mean I broke it? I just took off the back panel to see what the buttons did. What shoddy manufacturing! I have a curious mind, I’m thirsty for knowledge! Speaking of thirsty, I want a drink. I know very well that “bedtime” is what you call the bottle of red stuff on the counter. Before you get to the bottom of your “bottle of feigned happiness and forgotten dreams”, where’s my drink? I want water in a cup with a lid, but just to make things interesting, I have no intention of telling you which cup I want, and will only yell “no” at each selection until your eye starts twitching. Then I’ll get bored of the game. Also, I’m laughing at you because I’m not even thirsty.

(Two hours later)

By the way, even asleep I know you’re crazy about me. See you tomorrow.

Love, the Despot.

 

 

The 200 word milestone

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FEATURE word books 200 words

Working in a  school makes me more aware of things to watch in my son. We have speech therapists that work for the school board. One day I asked one of the therapists about when (my 16 month old at the time) would stop saying “A-wound and a-wound and a-wound” and start saying around. I know that Rs are tough for kids. My own brother had a few rounds of speech therapy for his Rs.

word list 200 words

She confirmed that Rs are in fact a hard letter for kids to pronounce. Then we got chatting about milestones for babies. And then it happened.

She let me know that by the age of 2, that toddlers are supposed to have 200 words.

200! Yes, that final zero is intended.

Up until a few years ago, the milestone was 50 words at the age of 2. So of course in my mad panic to confirm that my child would reach (or better yet surpass) this goal, I sat down with my husband that night and we started the list of words that we knew our son was saying.

And we were at 21. Just 21! YIKES! We both flew into crazy parent mode, and sat down to determine the path that we would take to reach the milestone of 200 words.

developmental outreach 200 words

We read every day to him. We have all of the fun books that help kids to identify images with simple words. We are the people that get the NIP screenings and meet the milestones month ahead (when possible)….so we are not sure how we are so behind with this word business.

As I write this blog, Tyson is now 18.5 months. Our current word tally exceeds just over 70 words. So we have just over 5 months to learn over 130 words. WHOA! I am told from friends that this is no big deal, and that one day Tyson will be firing out several new words every day. But for now, it does seem stressful. Although achievable, it does seem daunting. However, the fact that it used to be 50, and we’ve already exceeded that word count, I think that we can breath a small sigh of relief. BUT the countdown for 130 words is on.
Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Krista HolmsKrista Holmes, KH Mgmt, became a mother in the summer of 2014. She works behind-the-scenes in the Canadian music industry, designs several social media campaigns and manages special events. Her love for motherhood & music can be found on her blog, mommylovesmusic.wordpress.com.

twitter@KHmgmt

What kind of parent are you?

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Over the past 2 years of working in an elementary school, I’ve learned that there are 4 types of parents when it comes to registering their child(ren) for school.
My son was half way to the playground and didn't even give me a kiss or a wave... sniff sniff

My son was half way to the playground and didn’t even give me a kiss or a wave… sniff sniff

The Cryer:

These are the parents that are in tears as they bring in their child’s registration. The one’s that want to stop time and have their child home with them forever.

It’s funny, a lot of the time I find that these parents are an emotional wreck, and their kid has already run down the hallway and is trying to enjoy all the things that schools have to offer!

The Eager Beaver:

These are the parents that want to get their kids out of the house – and would do so now if it were an option. I often find that the parent (or grandparent sometimes) calls in to confirm the age for kindergarten. And it’s always funny to hear the sigh from the caller when they realized that their child is in fact not old enough to start school.

Don't let the shades fool you, I was a full on mess

Don’t let the shades fool you, I was a full on mess

The Undecided:

These are the parents that aren’t sure if they should be waiting until their child is in SK. They are literally on the fence about the school experience. Some look nervous, other’s unsure of how their child will cope. And some, just unsure in general about which is the better option.

The Procrastinator:

Everyone’s favourite, the procrastinator. And there are ALWAYS a few of them. They show up on the first day of school in September, and their kid is ready to go! Knapsack on back, lunch packed and ready to ride the bus.

But not so fast!!

We don’t know a thing about your child. Our school has a few kindergarten classes. And part of the registration process lets us get to know their strengths, any concerns you have as a parent, etc. So it makes it pretty difficult to place you when we met you 2 seconds ago. (Not to mention some Moms are already trying to run out the door to make it to work).

Well, now that you have the list, I have to say that my personal favourite is the Eager Beaver! How would you classify yourself?

(Urban Mama Elisa adds: I was a cryer. Full on cryer. Both boys.  Suburban Mama Michelle says: I’m with Krista!  Eager Beaver is my middle name)

Krista HolmsKrista Holmes, KH Mgmt, became a mother in the summer of 2014. She works behind-the-scenes in the Canadian music industry, designs several social media campaigns and manages special events. Her love for motherhood & music can be found on her blog, mommylovesmusic.wordpress.com.

twitter@KHmgmt

Pink shirt day February 24

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

When I was a kid, there were bullies and there were the bullied.

Nothing has changed.

Well, I shouldn’t say nothing. When I was young, I remember the stance teachers and parents took was for weak kids to “toughen up.” And bullies, well, they were bullies, but it was kind of expected. Boys will be boys.

Nowadays that’s not okay and it’s definitely not accepted.

There are “No Bullying Zones” at school and there are significant rules about bullying – with a ZERO tolerance in many many school districts. In fact, the anti-bully moment is strongly supported by parents, teachers and kids alike. And that, in a nutshell (if nuts were allowed in schools) is why Pink Shirt Day is a thing.

In 2007 in a Nova Scotia high school, a boy was bullied for wearing a pink shirt. Instead of joining in on the attack, his fellow students joined in on the defensive, coming to school in droves wearing pink shirts in support of the boy who wore pink. The school administration was so impressed by the “Pink Protest” that they went out and bought 50 more pink shirts and gave them out in the school. Imagine the difference in this bullied boy’s life. Pink Shirt Day was born.

If only we could stand up to all bullies this way; always band together and protest unfair treatment, champion the weak, the gentle, the ‘easy target’ as a bunch of highschool children did that day 9 years ago.

So today I’ll send my boys to school wearing pink.

My younger son – he’s 5 – snuggled into me tonight and said “Mom, I don’t think I want to wear my pink shirt tomorrow. What if kids laugh at me. I don’t like pink but they’ll think I like pink.”

Maybe he’s too young to fully understand the “Pink Protest” or maybe we’re not doing enough to explain the meaning because we’re too caught up in the rhetoric of it all. If you knew my 5 year old you’d be surprised that he’d worry about people laughing at him – he’s the alpha, the rough-and-tumble one, the one with the strong will. And yet, he worries, the gentle little guy.

Bullies aren’t necessarily who you think they are. Bullies aren’t just the toughest kids, and the seemingly tough kids aren’t necessarily as tough as you think.

They’re just kids.

So today, this February 24, try to go beyond the fashion statement and beyond the words, and really get in there with the explanation about bullying and what that really means. Share your stories with your kids, and ask them the tough questions. Whether your kid is the bullied, the bully, the supportive friend or the bystander that looks the other way, bullying will touch their life in more ways than just a pink shirt, and the more it can be discussed, the more bullying will really become disarmed.

If you want to put fashion to work beyond the pink shirt, a company called Accept Me has come across our radar. They are fashion forward, using beautiful design to break barriers. Accept Me uses the proceeds of their sales in the pursuit of philanthropy to help people be accepted for who they are, “Breaking the barriers of social marginalization through awareness and education.” All proceeds from purchases on Pink Shirt Day, February 24, will be used to support CKNW Orphans’ Fund.