Urban Suburban Mommy

Monthly Archives: June 2017

How We Survived A Year Of Unemployment

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

By now, you’ve heard the story of how I lost my job, house and sanity last year; an unholy trifecta and veritable s**tstorm that would level any normal person. But not this mama!

It wasn’t easy, but I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and for once, it’s not a train.

If I can survive, anyone can. The hardest part? Finding moments of joy and opportunities for reflection and rediscovery. I don’t do “happy” well; I usually defer to b*tch panic, especially when I’m robbed of routine and, um… my house and livelihood. This past year forced me not only to change my idea of “normal”, but also my identity and my future. It was a lot of work, but here’s how I did it:

  1. I changed the monologue: Hi, I’m Alexis’ anxiety! Follow me on my path to total self-destruction as we examine every worst-case scenario!
    I was convinced that if I ever lost my job we would survive for exactly two weeks before selling everything we own and becoming hermits in a box by the underpass. In reality, we lasted much longer than I thought we would. I had some savings, a severance package and support to see me through the biggest hurdles. I worked hard to change the negative-speak and set realistic expectations. Without sounding too “New Age-y” and “#blessed,” I found the positives: our new house will be clean and dry, we will not starve, I will find a job!
  2. I cast a wider net: I started looking at a greater variety of opportunities. Contracts? Sure! Self-Employment? Why not? Part-time? Bring it!
    I’m now leveraging 16 years of knowledge in retail marketing, graphic design and communications into what I hope will be a successful new career.
  3. I started volunteering: Once a week, I spend several hours at a not for profit developing digital marketing assets. The additional skill sets look great on a resume and the finished pieces are perfect for my portfolio.
  4. I kept learning and networking: I’m a sucker for research. If there’s something I don’t know, I make it my business to learn it. I took online tutorials and courses at Udemy.com and Lynda.com. I read books about freelance careers and customer success. I joined MumNet and attended networking functions to grow my village. I signed up for career workshops, job fairs, and connected with people in any industry I was interested in. Everyone was happy to let me pick their brains and some of the meetings led to job interviews. Most importantly, the process of networking forced me to go outside and be in the world.
  5. I enjoyed more time with my kids: This should be at the top of the list. I took advantage of every opportunity to take the boys to and from school, to the park, appointments and walks around the city to discover the world and each other. I will never get this time back once they’re older, and the extra time allowed me to slow down and be with them rather than just herding them around and getting things done.

We’re a work in progress – still not gainfully employed, house isn’t finished yet (because, insurance companies) and we don’t know what the next few months will bring us, making it hard to make any long-term plans. The things I don’t know and can’t predict far exceed the things I know for certain. What I’ve come to is this: After 16 years, I lost my “safety net.” So I might as well take a chance, laugh a bit and above all, enjoy the ride.

 

Pics of my babies! How many is too many?

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Is there such a thing as being OCD over the quantity of pics of each kid? If so, I’m guilty! With a newborn (well now just over 3 months old), I find myself questioning my social media pic posts. The random thoughts in my head consist of wondering if I have posted too many of the newborn. Or, not enough of my almost 3 year old.

Or am I that Mom that just posts too many of her kids? (I can admit that I am not the one with the TMI posts – like broadcasting my love for breastfeeding, or showing my son pooping on the potty)

As I take what I think to be cute, easy-to-like pics for Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, I wonder how many other moms are in the same boat? I remember getting advice from several parents that you just don’t get as many pics of your 2nd (or 3rd, 4th) child since you’re so much busier. Perhaps that is the case…but I think that i am actually doing pretty good!

Maybe that is because our smart phones make these moments easier to capture?

I should note, I also often take note of the background of my pics before posting. Is my house clean enough? Does my child have a nice enough outfit on without tons of food splattered across it?

I’d like to think that I am not the only one to have these thoughts. Anyone have any suggestions for moving forward?

Urban Suburban Mommy adds:

I have looked at the photo albums my mom put together and I have wondered the same thing. There are definitely more pictures of me – the eldest – then there are of my brother. This may be because I’m in the solo pics and in most of the pics of my brother! But it’s probably also because I was a busy 2-year-old who didn’t nap and didn’t give my mom enough time to pull out her 35 mil. and take all of the cute pictures I posed for as an infant.

My goodness, I was a cute infant!

In the days before digital, where you had to buy film, print and develop it, I think it was just so much trickier. My mom didn’t always carry a camera. That would have been cumbersome and her baby bag was already big enough.

But me?

I’m so busy taking pictures, filming, filtering and posting that sometimes I forget to sit back and watch what they’re doing in real life. The last time I downloaded my phone I had over 10,000 pictures. (And I wondered why my phone was so slow…). That was just my phone. My husband’s phone still needs to be downloaded, and I bet that number will come close to doubling.

I have ample images of both kids, though photo shoots were certainly easier with only one child on the go. So maybe Numero 2 doesn’t have ‘quite as many’ as the first guy, but when they each get thousands of pictures taken a year, are we really going to worry about quantity?

(Now my brother, who has a few pages dedicated to his baby development as opposed to the two full albums all about me – he’s got a legitimate gripe!)

Presto –– it’s Pesto!

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes, Domestic Goodness .

Want a add a twist to the flavour in your Kitchen?

How about one that is simple and easy to make?

Oh, and one that is enjoyed by all?

PESTO!

This wonderful flavour is such a simple add to any plain pasta, chicken, zoodle, panini, or other food that needs a burst of flavour – and an easy add for an instantly delicious meal.

Look no further, we’re going to explore pesto!

Pesto is simply made with basil, pine nuts, Parmesan cheese, olive oil and garlic.

That’s it.

It’s amazing how these 5 simple ingredients combined can be so flavourful. Variations – why yes, of course. We love this article from the Food Network that shows you 50 different ways to make Pesto – 50 Different Pesto Recipes

No matter which combination you choose (my favourite is basic pesto) the format is the same.

What you need:

– 2 cups Fresh basil (loosely packed – include the thin stems as well)
– 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
– 1/3 cup Pine nuts (optional: toast them for more flavour)
– 1/3 cup Olive oil
– 1 Garlic clove, minced
– Salt to taste (optional)

What you do:

Using a food processor (manual or automatic) add pine nuts first. Process to small bits. Add basil, and continue to process until both are tiny bits.

Add olive oil, garlic, and finally Parmesan Cheese (salt too if you want). Mix/blend together well, and serve. It’s as easy as that!

 

 

Our favourite is to serve it over shrimp sautéed in butter and garlic. You can serve this over pasta or zoodles (Noodles made from zucchini in a spiralizer or Julienne Peeler). You can also make a double batch and add to your favourite sandwich/panini the next day.

Made extra? It freezes well. A great trick is to freeze it in an ice cube tray so that you can grab as little or as much as you want.

Have a great week!


Danielle’s Pampered Kitchen..Healthy Meals in Minutes

 

Father’s Day – stop with the ties already.

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

Okay mamas, here’s the deal. If you’re like me, it’s less than 72 hours until Father’s Day and you just realized it, because the kids brought home half-dried macaroni art spray-painted gold and some clay handprint with a sweet inscription about “Your hand in mine, Daddy” from school today, and it’s dawned on you that something’s a brewing that you’ve forgotten!

Okay, to be fair, I am usually on top of everything, everyone, every present and every holiday – but this past week alone I’ve drowned my iPhone, lost my car in the underground parking at the mall and sent my kid to school without lunch.

It’s a slow week and yet I can barely keep up, so when the tell-tale hand-crafted gifts made their ways into my kids’ closets this afternoon, the reality of what this weekend would hold came crashing down like a tower of Legos.

But I’m nothing if not resilient, so with replacement iPhone in hand, I pulled it together. I brainstormed. I called in favours. I sourced and I located.

Father’s Day is saved. The reservations at his favourite restaurant have been made, the Star Wars present has been purchased and the card will be picked up tomorrow.

Or Saturday. Definitely by Sunday.

I’m not one of those cynics who hates Father’s Day for its commercialism – I only feel that way about Valentine’s Day. No, I blanked this year, but generally I embrace Father’s Day. My husband just happens to be the cream of the crop when it comes to best dads, so I like to make a fuss.

(Plus he knows to make a fuss for Mother’s Day. We have an understanding.)

If you’ve got a bad case of the last-minute-panics, here are the other suggestions I came up with while brainstorming. I bet the Dad (or dad-like role model) in your life would approve, and these are easy to get presents that he’ll actually enjoy.

Cool Dad

Super-trending, these babies are cool. They never go out of style. They come in some great colours and different lenses so you can get him something to up his cool factor, as if he weren’t cool enough already.

(Pick yourself a pair up too.)

High Flying Dad

The mantra these days “collect experiences, not things” really resonates. For the Dad whose got his feet firmly planted on the ground, why not send him into the sky on a helicopter ride over the city? Other cool options include: Hot air balloon rides, charter planes and – for the uber-adventurous, a sky dive or squirrel suit experience!

(Plus, this one you can order online and present a print-out if you can’t get to the mall. Groupon may even have a deal!)

Date with Dad

Dad loves spending time with the kids, so why not create a special event: Tickets to his favourite sporting event! Or if Dad’s not the sporty kind, it could also be tickets to a concert, a stand-up comedy show or play, depending on Dad’s interests.

New York Yankees vs Toronto Blue Jays

(Bonus tip: Get tickets for him and the kid(s) to go on a date and enjoy some free time to yourself! Is that wrong?)

Dressing Dad

It’s totally no bueno when you and your better half go out in matchy matchy outfits, but it’s super-cute when Dad and his little muppet do it. One year I made my Star Wars geek hubby a “Trust me, I’m a Jedi” t-shirt and made both boys t-shirts that said Padawan to go with it. There are tons of cute theme Dad-n-Kid shirts out there. Go to the local t-shirt printing guy with your best ideas.

(Padawan is a child training to be a Jedi, in case you didn’t know. Now you know.)

Dad with a Fun Streak

Sure he may wear a suit to work, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a bit of party on the inside. Set Dad up on the Sock-Of-The-Month-Club. Seriously, check the ankles of any well-dressed man and you’ll see their fun streak peeping out between crisp hem and well-polished brogue. Men and their socks. It’s a thing. From orange argyles to corn cob patterns, this is the gift that keeps on giving – every month until next Father’s Day!

(And it’s always in his size!)

Backyard Warrior Dad

Okay, I may or may not want this for selfish reasons, but I know Dad will think this is the coolest. If you love your Roomba, just imagine how much Dad is going to love his AutoMower!!!! Seriously. The thing quietly and effortlessly roams around the yard, trimming, snipping and clipping to perfection, without any assistance – from Dad or otherwise.

(The price tag may be a little steep, but the years of no asking, begging, nagging and yelling about the lawn will be more than worth it.)

Happy Father’s Day!

When Life Gives You Bananas…

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I don’t bake very often.

Which is to say, I bake never.

Two weeks ago, for my sons’ bake sale at school, I bought three boxes of nut-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, flavour-free snickerdoodle cookies and placed them very deliberately into a container lined with paper towel. I pressed the tops of a few of them and crumbled one or two for effect. I neither confirmed nor denied that I had baked them myself, and they were a hit.

Don’t tell me I don’t make an effort.

Recently, I came across some very ripe bananas on my counter. “Self,” I said to myself, “why not make banana bread? Surely you can find a healthy, sugar-free recipe online!”

There are literally thousands of “healthy, sugar-free” recipes for banana bread on the Internet. As it turns out, I picked the one dud.

I don’t blame Pinterest exclusively for what happened next.

I’m a bit of an improviser (read: I cut corners), but with cooking you can usually get away with it. Don’t have peanuts for your satay sauce? Use crunchy peanut butter! No pine nuts for your pesto? Use walnuts or hemp seeds! Baking, on the other hand, is science. It’s alchemy. Miss one ingredient, and it’s crap. Use too much of something, and you can’t overcorrect – you’ll have to toss it.

I learned this the hard way.

Everything was fine until I started getting creative. I thought that if four bananas make it moist, then a cup of applesauce would make it even better. And hey! Why not cut down on cholesterol by substituting the third egg for egg whites? No measuring cup? No problem! Since I didn’t know the difference between baking soda and baking powder, I decided that neither were really necessary. Flour is a powder, right? I just used more flour to compensate for the extra wet ingredients. I ignored the nagging feeling as I mixed everything together, noting how it wasn’t actually turning into batter so much as paste.

Oh man, I thought. Recipes are for suckers. I’m a baking maverick, beholden to no recipe. Ain’t no set of carefully executed rules gonna chain me down!

I baked it for the allotted 50 minutes. It bubbled and churned, but never turned golden brown. I began to worry when, after an additional 30 minutes, it had glazed over but continued to bubble. How can a solid do that? Finally, after nearly two hours in the oven, my creation had started to turn a faint brown at the outermost corners.

Done!

I pulled it out and set it on the rack to cool.

It fell onto the rack with a heavy plop. It was oozing. It was a mess. Dave looked horrified. “I’m not eating that,” he said. “No way.”

Just to prove to him that it was fine, I scooped a hunk of under-cooked, oozing (steaming, piping, freaking hot) banana goo and chewed. And chewed. “See?” I managed through careful mastication whilst burning off a layer of tongue skin. “It’s delish.”

It’s a miracle that my jaw wasn’t glued shut. We watched each other carefully, looking for signs that the other was bluffing. My mouth started to tingle. I couldn’t feel my tongue. Finally, I retched and spit it out. “Yeah, enjoy that.” The next morning, I threw it out.

I learned two valuable lessons that day.

One: Husbands have a line in the sand, usually where there’s a possibility of being poisoned.

Two: Leave the baking to Betty Crocker.

 

Grilled chicken, apple and spinach salad

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes, Domestic Goodness .

Quick.

Simple.

Delicious.

Any meals that fall into those 3 categories has a permanent place on anyone’s meal plan. This salad has the added bonus of being healthy too!

Great tip: Make your food work for you. Ever notice that chicken added to a salad tends to be a little “too much?”  Spread your chicken a little further when using it for sandwiches and salads by splitting the chicken breast into two. I love my handy-dandy tool because it has multiple purposes, as you can see from the video, but splitting chicken breasts is one of my favourites!

                    

Click here for demonstration video or for More information on this product, click here

Get your grill  out, cause here we go!

What you need:

  • 2 medium apples (your preference – I like Granny Smith (tart),  Gala work well, too)
  • 1 pkg (5 cups) fresh baby spinach (washed and dried)
  • 1 large carrot peeled
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 Cup Sugar Snap Peas – cut in half.
  • 3 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless (can substitute pork)
  • Smokey applewood rub (optional)

Dressing:

  • 2 1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • 2 tbsp oil (avocado or olive)
  • 1 tbsp syrup
  • 1/2 tbsp Dijon mustard
  • 1/8 tsp salt

What you do:

  1. Combine dressing ingredients, mix, and set aside.
  2. Heat grill to medium high.
  3. Slice chicken horizontally (split the chicken breast – bonus tip above).
  4. Season chicken with applewood rub (approximately 1 tbsp).
  5. Place chicken on hot grill for 3 to 4 minutes per side.
  6. Set chicken aside.
  7. Cut apples into wedges
  8. Place on grill for 6 minutes, then turn and repeat. Or do both chicken and apple at the same time if you have a double burner grill pan.
  9. Set aside.
  10. Place spinach in a large bowl. Grate carrots into salad (using a Julienne peeler, cheese grater, or spiralizer).
  11. Slice chicken into strips and add to bowl.
  12. Add cranberries, peas, apples.
  13. Drizzle salad with dressing, and serve!

Have a great week!


Danielle’s Pampered Kitchen..Healthy Meals in Minutes

 

 

The adorable little bulls in the primary school china shop

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

My kids are big.

They’re big for their age.

They’re big for their age plus three.

My just-turned-seven-year-old is finishing up grade one. He’s taller than half of the grade three kids. My grade three kid keeps trying to pass his eight-and-a-half-year-old self off for 12.

And most of the time, people believe him.

It’s a strange thing raising giants. It’s more than just that they’re big. They’re strong, solid, hulking boys. They’re powerhouses, and they know it. It’s bizarre to see my grade one-er with his buddies. he’s always looking down or hunching. My grade three-er walks around with the confidence of a king because he knows without a doubt he’s the biggest and strongest. But he’s a pussycat. A gentle giant. A teddy bear.

We all know grown men like this too – the ones that tower over most typical-sized human beings. They’re built like linebackers, like brick walls. Their size alone convinces you that they could crush any mere mortal on a whim, but anyone that knows them knows they wouldn’t hurt a fly.

I know. I’m married to one. Strongest man I’ve ever known, and yet kind and gentle as they come.

(Of course, if he needed to, he could crush any mere mortal on a whim. But he’d need a good reason to do it.)

Recently, my husband registered our boys in a football league. I was more than a bit apprehensive as images of train-wreck tackles from NFL games haunted my dreams – until I saw them on the field with their teams. They’re in different divisions, but the funny thing is, neither stands out for his size on the field.

Sure, there are a few small player and one or two exceptionally enormous players, but my boys have found their tribe. It’s like someone scouted every primary classroom in the city and took the tallest child from each. The boys are right-sized for this game!!

So what does football and raising giants have to do with anything?

I’ll tell you – it was an epiphany I had the other day as I arrived at daycare to get the boys. My seven year old was told to be careful around his friend, be gentle. These larger-than-average kids, the back-line-middle in every school photo, are constantly being told to be gentle to avoid hurting others.

It’s necessary, but it’s horrible all the same.

These boys are playing with their peers, but the worry is constantly drilled into them “Be careful not to hurt others.”

If they partake in normal rough-housing, they end up hurting their friends – and it upsets them. Those little minds are all the same age, but the bodies don’t match up. It’s a fair fight mentally – but not physically. They get in trouble for causing injuries. They get in trouble for hurting others.

They are the adorable little bulls in the primary school china shop. And it takes its toll on their little psyches.

Are we taking something away by constantly reminding them not to exert themselves? Have we diminished these kids’ power because we want to tame them for the benefit of their peers?

Do we even realize we’re doing it?

When I finally saw my older son take the field for the first time with a coach that told him to drive back his teammate, I was stunned to realize that my boy was thrown by the concept. He was a gentle giant, how was he supposed to throw all of his power at another kid?

Then I heard the coach tell him not to worry, he wouldn’t hurt him.

It took coaxing, it took a few tries, it took my son some time to process the fact that he was finally allowed to use his size, and that he had a peer that was his own size to use it on.

Finally.

When the coach tells my son to drive his opponent back 7 yards, my son goes 7 yards. When the coach tells him not to let anyone get by, my son stops them with his natural talents and size. And he loves it.

Both boys went through this (although my younger son has never been quite as reserved about using his strength. I don’t know that he is truly destined for gentle giant-hood, but he too had to be coaxed to throw it all down on the field).

So the next time you see the kids of different sizes but same ages at play, watch the biggest one – and how that giant manages or holds back. Watch as they struggle to fit in a world too diminutive for their size and strength, but that doesn’t make sense because, at that age, they don’t understand their own size and power yet.

They can’t help their size, and it’s amazing to see when they finally get a chance to use that size and power – without reservation.

Off the field though? My older son is the epitome of a gentle giant. He’s sweet, kind and passive. Who knew he was so competitive.

I love that our little giants have found balance on the football field. I was a tall girl. It’s a whole different world for tall girls.