Urban Suburban Mommy

Tag Archives: Kids

I stole my grandchildren –– from myself

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I’ve been struggling with this thought for the last few days. It was a really painful epiphany when I realized that I’d stolen my grandchildren from myself.

I had my first son two weeks before my 37th birthday, my second son just shy of my 39th.

“PHEW!” I thought – got in just under the line, done before 40.

I was told I would have trouble conceiving both times. The words “Late Maternal Age” were thrown around at some of all of my doctor visits. The usual scare of possible chromosomal anomalies and age-related pregnancy issues grated my nerves on the reg.

But I was happy to have my kids. I had my cake and would get to eat it too. I enjoyed my 20’s, traveled, lived like a rock star (partied with a few!), established a career, waited for Mr. Right, avoided unplanned pregnancies, and now I was getting to enjoy the spoils of my well-managed life.

It is my happy ending.

It is… but I’ve only just unearthed the consequence I never realized would come with late maternal age –– I don’t get to be Nana Elisa.

I grew up with wonderful grandparents. My Nana Sophie and Gramps Mike spent a lot of time with me. My Nana Helen and Grampsy Leo made me feel like the sun shone for me and me alone. They doted. They pleased. They loved and enjoyed without reservation. I couldn’t spend enough time at their house and I could never get enough of my grandmother’s bottomless pot of chicken soup or the never-empty bowl of apple sauce, which she knew I adored.

My grandkids won’t get this.

But that I won’t get to do this for them is more of my concern. I see my kids missing out on the time with grandparents, mine have both passed away long ago.

I waited until I was ready for kids, I pushed baby-making to the limits, and I thought I’d gotten away with it, scott free.

Yes, I’m a little tired and probably would have kept up with my wild boys a bit better a decade ago, but what I lack in stamina, I make up for in patience, wisdom and a decent salary.

However, while I may see a grandchild in my lifetime if I take care of myself, if my kids wait like I waited, I won’t be Nana Elisa. I won’t be able to run around the city with them, travel with them, take them places.

In my late 70s I can’t see myself being the able-bodied woman doting over children for sleepovers and days of shopping. I won’t be taking them to the farm or on adventures the way my grandparents did for me.

Oh sure, I know that 70 is the new 60 (and 46 is the new 29, I know, I know) but the truth is, I can see where my energy level is right now, and I’m not imagining I’ll have more energy at 76 than I have at 46. My memory isn’t what it used to be. My patience, video game skills and basic acceptance of mermaid hair, unicorn glitter and words like “turnt” are starting to date me.

Even if I see little babes in my 60s and early 70s, by the time they’re teens and capable of doing the fun stuff, I’ll be needing a day pass just to go to their school plays.

I may be fine and full of energy by then – but I may not.

Some of my friends have grown children, some are grandparents. In fact, my mother-in-law has great grandchildren that are older than our kids. My husband’s sister was a grandmother before we even got started.

I didn’t realize I’d love having kids so much. I didn’t realize it would be my most favourite part of life. I put off a family because I “wasn’t ready,” and “I needed ‘me’ time” before settling down. I still think I made the right decision, and that my life has rolled out perfectly, but I lament that one thing…

The grandchildren.

The thing I never thought of as I was figuring it all out and putting off having kids.

Kids’ stuff I wish someone would invent

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

If you’re like me, you have all the time in the world to daydream about how easy this parenting gig would be if you only had a (fill in the blank).

For every step forward in the “useful kids’ crap” category (see Gro Clock), there is a giant leap backwards (see Child disassembles Gro Clock with the accuracy and precision of a bomb specialist.) I’ve gone one step further and leaped so far out of the box that the items listed below can only be found in the realm of science fiction. Still, a mom can dream, can’t she?

1. A feat of engineering that keeps bathtub water IN the bathtub and off the floor.

Perhaps an invisible force field or a film that keeps water where it belongs. I’d even try sonar that prevents children from turning the tub into a wave pool like a Kraken on, well…crack. So far, I’ve tried a garbage bag and a clear storage bin but as of yet have been unsuccessful.

2. A baby/toddler/pre-schooler-to-English translator that plugs directly into your ear.

Imagine – no more figuring out which cup they want, no more wondering why your child is crying for the eleventy-hundredth time (in the past hour). “Nooo!” becomes “I would gladly play with that parent-approved, educational toy.” At the very least, if no translation could be found, the ear plug would pump in the soothing, dulcet tones of Enya or Yanni Live at the Acropolis.

3. Food that instantly becomes whatever your child wants.

Chicken fingers? No problem. Oh, you changed your mind? Bam! Macaroni! Bonus points if every dish magically has four times the nutritional value of my preschooler’s current diet of plain hamburger buns and air.

4. A magic bed.

I’m probably the only parent alive who has problems with her children sleeping in their own bed (or sleeping at all), but bear with me. If someone created a bed that could transport my child to Slumberland and keep him there until the sun actually rose, I would literally just give that sorcerer all of my money. Note: I would also accept a mattress that cuts the bedtime nonsense down from two hours to twenty solid minutes.

5. Toys that don’t lose their pieces.

Or have sharp edges. Or get caught in an air vent. Or up a child’s nose. Or don’t require batteries. Or cause dents in a child’s skull when his younger brother clobbers him with it. So, basically a sponge.

6. Liquid patience.

If only there was a magical liquid that could soothe a mommy’s frazzled nerves and transport her feelings of rage and inadequacy to a far-off place. I would name it after the sound it creates when it first passes the lips: Merlooooooot……

Note to self: stop by the liquor store.

Keep Calm and Don’t Forget The Snow Pants

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

If I were to measure my success as a parent by the number of things I had to remember in an average day, I would be, at best, a mediocre caregiver. You might let me walk your dog and water your plants while you were on vacation, but you probably wouldn’t let me use a spreading knife to butter little Johnny’s toast.

Today was the first bitterly cold day of the season, marking the arrival of that frigid winter we were all promised. I bundled the kids in hats, winter coats, boots and mittens (which is to say I wrestled with the baby for a full ten minutes trying to get them on his hands for more than a nanosecond. Nate laughed and pointed, in case you were wondering whose child he is.) In an unrelated thought, if you have any tips on how to fuse mittens to a screaming toddler’s hands without the use of staples, I’m all ears. So, out the door we went, with everything we needed to brace ourselves against the cold.

Everything except their snow pants.

Kid crying in snow

It was the first thing my mom noticed. “Where are the boys’ snow pants?” she asked with alarm. Crappity craptastic, I thought.

“Um, I think Ben’s pants are in the closet and Nate’s…ah, I’m not 100% sure. Maybe…he doesn’t have any?” I was starting to sound like a teenager who was about to get into some serious trouble.

Needless to say, after dropping the kids off at school we both went back to our respective homes and went digging for snow pants. I tore my place apart, cursing myself the entire time. Why can’t I get anything right? Why can’t I remember anything? What kind of a parent am I? Snow pants were found and my father very graciously drove them to the school. Crisis averted – until next time.

For some reason, I couldn’t let it go. What the actual hell was my problem?

There are measured degrees of success. On the one hand are the moms who have it all together, like elusive rainbow unicorns with nice handbags. The other end of the spectrum…well, it makes me too sad to talk about really. Let’s say that just because some people give birth to humans doesn’t mean they’re innately programmed to raise them.

I’ve come to realize that I’m square in the middle of the scale. I don’t have staff. No one to clean or cook for me or help me get the kids ready in the morning or to remind me about the damn snow pants. I don’t begrudge people who do (believe me) but it makes me 100% responsible, all the time – good, bad, ugly or otherwise. There will be mistakes. The challenge then lies in not repeating them.

The other challenge is being kind to myself and moving on. Am I tired? Yes. Are our belongings distributed among several content cleaning companies across the GTA? Yes. Do I have forty loads of laundry and dishes to do? Check. Between putting my house and my life back together, things have slipped, not the least of which is my Swiss-cheese brain. I have to remind myself every.single.day. to forgive myself, let it go and move on. Tomorrow will be a better day.

“You know honey,” my mom reminded me. “The kids are fed, dressed and loved. You’re not doing too badly.” That’s high praise. I’ll take it.

 

TLC’s Sunday Brunch Host Ereka Vetrini chats must have products to survive school days

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

We at Urban Suburban Mommy are always grateful and excited to speak to experts and celebrities and share our interviews with our readers. We recently spoke with TLC’s Sunday Brunch Host Ereka Vetrini via a video chat.  Ereka highlighted her round up of must have products to survive school days.  It’s always helpful to get expert advice because there are so many different products on the market.  I personally find it overwhelming as I scour the aisles in the grocery store to find the best snack or treat. The true test – if my son agrees AND actually eats it. Ereka offers insights on everything from finding the perfect lunch snack to capturing memories to staying clean.  We already love some of these awesome brands and can’t wait to try some of essentials that Ereka suggests. Have a watch!

Ereka Vetrini is a TV Host, Lifestyle Expert, Brand Spokesperson, Producer, Blogger and proud mom of two! Tune-in to TLC Sunday Brunch on Sunday mornings as Ereka brings you the very best brunch & cocktail recipes, styling tips and so much more! Ereka is also the host of Lifetime’s Access Health where her and her team bring you the latest cutting-edge developments and innovations in medicine, nutrition and fitness, so women everywhere can take charge of their health, starting today! As the TV spokesperson for AllRecipes magazine, you can catch her in the kitchen at The Today Show, Meredith Vieira Show and The Better Show where she cooks up recipes created by home cooks from across the country. Ereka was the host of Easy Does It on Yahoo! where she interviewed authors, experts and celebrities to uncover everything you need to know about how to simplify family life. As a mother of two, Ereka enjoys spending every spare minute running after her 1st grader and preschooler. Check out her blog BeYOUtifulmoms.com to see how she balances it all and deals with her daily dose of mom guilt.

Popsicles = Summer

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .

Popsicles are the best summer treat. Bright colours, sweet flavours, they’re the perfect cool-down for a kiddo on the go that doesn’t want to stop playing. And hey, they’re on a stick!

I have a few favourite recipes, but the great thing about popsicles is, as long as you have a mould, you can basically make any flavour you want. Of course, the standard orange, grape or lemon are always a hit, but you can get creative.

Pudding pops: Did you know you can freeze jello and pudding? Just prep it the way the package recommends and just freeze it in the moulds instead of in a bowl in the fridge.

Getting fancy: This takes some time because each layer has to freeze, but if you prep several juices, you can pour in a layer, let it freeze, pour in the next colour, let it freeze – and so on, and so on, until you’ve built up layers of colourful stripes. Or, if you tip the mould on a bit of an angle and fill it half way, you can let it freeze, straighten it up and fill the other half for a funky two-tone effect.

Fruit pops: Add a little bit of diced fruit to your pops. For thicker mixtures you can blend in the fruit, for thin liquids you may want to fill half, let freeze, add some fruit and top off with juice so that the fruit is suspended in the middle.

The basics: Any juice will freeze. You can make fresh squeezed or buy pre-made juices. Just fill the moulds and freeze. Milk will freeze – you can add some instant coffee and some sugar for a sweet adult treat, or some powdered chocolate for a chocolate popsicle.

My kids are crazy fans of piña coladas, and love this one the best:

What you need:

– 1 can of coconut milk or coconut cream
– 1 cup of pineapple, diced
– 1/2 cup pineapple juice (or 1/4 cup syrup if you’re using canned pineapples)
– 2-3 tablespoons white sugar (omit if using syrup from canned pineapples)
– tiny chunks of coconut, optional

What you do:

In a blender or food processor, whip together liquids and sugar for 1 minute. Then add fruit. Pulse blend 4 or 5 times. Pour mixture into moulds. Freeze and serve.

(The adult version of this can be made by adding 2 to 3 ounces of rum to the mixture!)

popsicle in cupcake linerPopsicle hack!!!

If you hate watching popsicles drip down your child’s arm, add a cupcake liner to the bottom of the popsicle to catch the drips!

Suggestions:

Cinnamon apple: 1 tsp cinnamon, 2 tablespoons white sugar, 4 cups of apple juice

Raspberry dream: 3 cups fresh raspberries, blended for 30 seconds, 2 tablespoons white sugar, 4 cups milk or light cream

Keylime pie: Keylime pie pudding prepared as directed on package

Mango tango: 4 cups mango juice blended with 1 cup of heavy cream and 2 talbespoons white sugar + mango chunks

And try out these moulds:

Father’s Day gifts from the kiddos’ POV

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Daddy .

I remember being a kid and thinking that it was really important to go shopping for Father’s Day – a special mission. Every year we’d get my dad the exact same thing – a soap-on-a-rope and a box of turtles chocolates. It couldn’t be Father’s Day without those 2 things. (In fact, it couldn’t be his birthday without those gifts.) Every year he’d unwrap his soap and chocolates with eager excitement and anticipation – and it made us so happy to see how much he loved his gifts.

It’s funny, because looking back on the experience, if it had been any normal man I’d have said that he was just being kind to play it up to make us feel good – but my dad was not normal.

Not in any sense of the word.

He loved his soap-on-a-rope and he loved turtles. These he considered it a special treat. He could well afford to go out and buy himself anything he wanted, but he didn’t. Soap-on-a-rope and turtles were prizes, gifts, and he’d wait – for Father’s Day, his birthday,  – and then revel. The turtles would last all of five minutes, but that soap – it and its rope would be savored down to the last sud.

It’s funny little rituals, odd little quirks, unique and individual personality traits that make our parents so dear to us. My dad is gone, but those memories are as vivid today as they were the day they were made.

Now that I have my own family, we have our own traditions. Over the years the boys have picked out different things for dad. He loves the things they pick out. Whether it’s something he can use or something he’ll never open, he cherishes those gifts because they come from his kids’ hearts. While I like to believe I’m a good gift giver and that I help steer the kids in the right direction, I think they could give him lumps of coal and he’d be happy, because those lumps of coal were chosen especially for him by his most favourite people in the whole world.

I guess that’s why my dad was never faking the happiness over his soap-on-a-rope and chocolate, why he actually savoured every last sud. It was never about the soap.

Insert epiphany here, lol.

We thought it would be fun to find out what some of Urban Suburban Mommy’s contributor’s children (who range in age from infants to teenagers) wanted to get dad for Father’s Day.

Lifestyle contributor Krista Holmes
Tyson, 2 year old

I asked Tyson (keeping in mind he is not yet 2 and more than 2 words is considered a win!) and he said “ish” which means FISH, and boat….these 2 things will make his Dad incredibly happy as other than hunting, fishing is his favourite past time (and he’s shopping for a new bass boat).

tyson and dad

Parenting expert Lauren Millman
The kids

Because daddy works so hard we want to give daddy a day off and we just want him to relax and eat and sleep. And maybe play a game or two with us. And he can have all the ice-cream he wants,  and Mom, you can take his phone and computer and not give it back to him until the next morning.

Lifestyle contributor Alexis Nicols

Nate (4): A giraffe.

Me: A giraffe?!? Honey, wouldn’t that be too big for the house?

Nate: (Sigh) OK fine mommy. A cat. He wants a pet cat.

(It should be mentioned that Nate wants a pet cat.)

Ben (17 months): Bah. (Translation: “After much soul searching, I’ve determined that our father would greatly appreciate a power-tool of some kind. However, I believe that the buying of “things” does not fill the existential void in one’s soul. Therefore, I would bestow upon our father the gifts of joy, love, peace and clarity. Also, I just pooped.”)

Editor Elisa Keay
The boys, 8 and 6 years old

The 8 year old wants to get his dad a car. Dad’s car is on its last legs and our Urban Daddy has dreams of a brand new… minivan. It’s not something I can get excited about, but the fam loves to pile in for drive-in movies and he really does love driving his minivan. The little guy even remembered to ask for it to have stow-and-go seats. And it has to have a drink spot beside his seat too. Kids.

The 6 year old wants to get dad Lego. Star Wars Lego. He has some Star Wars Lego and has agreed that Dad needs to put it together with him, but he has decided that he should buy his dad a really really big Star Wars Lego set so that they can do it together. And he will keep it in his room, nice and safe – for Dad.

…I may actually have to buy Star Wars Lego for Father’s Day. I’m not buying a minivan, that’s for sure.

Editor Michelle’s Daides
4 year old son

Me: What do you want to get Daddy for father’s day?

E: A plastic spider.

Me: Are you sure?

E: No wait, wait. I know he loves music. A musical CD.

Instead, we decided on a special dance for you – Daddy, you are worth it! xo

[wpvideo oS5wrWU2]

 

What kind of parent are you?

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Over the past 2 years of working in an elementary school, I’ve learned that there are 4 types of parents when it comes to registering their child(ren) for school.
My son was half way to the playground and didn't even give me a kiss or a wave... sniff sniff

My son was half way to the playground and didn’t even give me a kiss or a wave… sniff sniff

The Cryer:

These are the parents that are in tears as they bring in their child’s registration. The one’s that want to stop time and have their child home with them forever.

It’s funny, a lot of the time I find that these parents are an emotional wreck, and their kid has already run down the hallway and is trying to enjoy all the things that schools have to offer!

The Eager Beaver:

These are the parents that want to get their kids out of the house – and would do so now if it were an option. I often find that the parent (or grandparent sometimes) calls in to confirm the age for kindergarten. And it’s always funny to hear the sigh from the caller when they realized that their child is in fact not old enough to start school.

Don't let the shades fool you, I was a full on mess

Don’t let the shades fool you, I was a full on mess

The Undecided:

These are the parents that aren’t sure if they should be waiting until their child is in SK. They are literally on the fence about the school experience. Some look nervous, other’s unsure of how their child will cope. And some, just unsure in general about which is the better option.

The Procrastinator:

Everyone’s favourite, the procrastinator. And there are ALWAYS a few of them. They show up on the first day of school in September, and their kid is ready to go! Knapsack on back, lunch packed and ready to ride the bus.

But not so fast!!

We don’t know a thing about your child. Our school has a few kindergarten classes. And part of the registration process lets us get to know their strengths, any concerns you have as a parent, etc. So it makes it pretty difficult to place you when we met you 2 seconds ago. (Not to mention some Moms are already trying to run out the door to make it to work).

Well, now that you have the list, I have to say that my personal favourite is the Eager Beaver! How would you classify yourself?

(Urban Mama Elisa adds: I was a cryer. Full on cryer. Both boys.  Suburban Mama Michelle says: I’m with Krista!  Eager Beaver is my middle name)

Krista HolmsKrista Holmes, KH Mgmt, became a mother in the summer of 2014. She works behind-the-scenes in the Canadian music industry, designs several social media campaigns and manages special events. Her love for motherhood & music can be found on her blog, mommylovesmusic.wordpress.com.

twitter@KHmgmt

From tasty treats to fantabulous fun in the winter – what to do with snow and ice

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

Winter is a tough season – especially if you live in a climate that goes sub-zero. Usually this means layers upon layers of outerwear as well as heaps of snow. While keeping a matching pair of mittens may be a lost cause in most homes, winter can have its own kind of fun.

In my neighbourhood, it is rare to see any kids outside after school. The hibernation period begins. But, as much as we are tempted to curl up in front of the TV and turn into vegetables, we need to try and be active and brave the cold. Here are some fun things you can do with the kiddies while embracing winter.

1. Make snow angels
Bundle up, slap on the ski jacket and snow pants – now jump into a fresh patch of snow and make your best snow angel. Arms and legs going. This is fun to do with kids at any age. This is a fun thing to do even without the kids, you just may have forgotten to try while you were busy being a grown-up.

2. Turn snow (clean snow) into toffee
Heat up some maple syrup in a medium saucepan for about 5 minutes (on medium). Pour into a measuring cup. Bring some popsicle sticks with you.

First rule – avoid dirty snow and ESPECIALLY, avoid the yellow snow, but after seeking out a nice, sparkling piece of fresh white snow, let your kids pour some maple syrup on top of the snow and watch it turn it into Toffee. Let them gather the toffee on the popsicle sticks and Enjoy!

3. Go tobogganing or snow tubing
There are so many different toboggans and sleds out in the market. Do your research but basically kids – even the little ones can thrill in swooshing down a hill at full speed. Always a good idea for the kids to wear a helmet. It’s great exercise and great fun!

Suggestion a) Make sure to have a cord tied to sleds, GT Racers, Krazy Karpets and snow discs, it makes it easier to pull them back up the hill.
Suggestion b) A little bit of wax, teflon or non-stick cooking spray will really up your speed.

4. Make snow glass

Take advantage of the fact that the whole world is your freezer. There are so many fun things you can do with this open-air ice box. Fill balloons full of water – get fancy and add food colouring! You can make a variety of different sizes. If you hang them out overnight to freeze they’ll form perfect globlets and oblongs, if you set them on the ground they’ll be rounder but have a flat spot on the bottom. When frozen just peel off the balloon. They make great yard decorations and simply mesmerize the kids. Keep adding to them over the winter.

Instead of balloons, use milk and juice containers and tetra-packs to hold the coloured liquid to freeze, and then dump out a perfect rectangle. Collect enough of them and you’ll be able to make a magical multi-coloured fort out of the colourful ice bricks.

5. Snow ice cream

Kids LOOOOOOVE to eat snow, and snow ice cream is fast, yummy and abundant. Best consumed on a sunny day, or inside with a cup of cocoa, it requires few ingredients and lots of giggles. In a glass or metal bowl mix a cup of milk (you can use cream or condensed milk for a more rich, decadent alternative), a quarter cup or so of white sugar, a teaspoon of salt and a few drops of vanilla. Once you’ve whisked milk, vanilla and salt together, dump in 8 cups of snow and keep mixing. If it’s runny add more snow until it’s thick and fluffy. Set in the cold for a few minutes (in the snow or your freezer) to allow it to set and dig in!

Suggestions: For chocolate use a quarter cup of cocoa powder. For fruit flavours use a quarter cup of jam. Once it sets add it bits of texture, like coconut shreds, fruit chunks, nuts, sprinkles or bits of cookie.

If you want to keep it simple, gather clean snow in individual bowls for each kid. Grab a pack of Kool-aid, sprinkle it on and call it a snowcone!

Winter never tasted so good!

*****edited to add: and then there’s this LOL:

snow lumps with glow eyes