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Nationwide Nurse-in Event! April 29, 2016

Posted on April 29, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Today’s in Nationwide Nurse-in Event! We posted our original article back in January but we are sharing the article again with you today in support of this awesome initiative! Way to go mamas!

Have you ever heard of Nationwide Nurse-In? You will see more about it as Nationwide Nurse-In Day approaches: April 29, 2016. They’ve just released a new calendar to promote the event. This advocacy group works to support a parent and child’s rights to nurse wherever and whenever. Without shame. Without neglect. Without discrimination.

(We love that this group offers the disclaimer: Pro-breastfeeding does not mean anti formula. Nationwide Nurse-In supports all parents who feed their children.)

Urban Suburban Mommy caught up with Aimee O’Connell of Redding, California. Aimee is featured on the cover of the 2016 calendar, breastfeeding her son, 4 month old Kyson.

Are you a breast feeding advocate?

I advocate for breastfeeding one hundred percent. I want to help change the outlook of society. Feeding your child isn’t something that is weird, sexual or indecent, yet we still see that mindset in today’s society when people notice a nursing mother.

I would love to see a day where people aren’t afraid to look a woman in the eye while she feeds her child – uncovered. Women should be able to breastfeed anywhere, any time without fear of backlash, being shamed or humiliated. I nurse in public and refuse to let anyone make me feel as if it’s something that isn’t natural. Breastfeeding needs to be normalized!

Why did you choose to be involved with Nationwide Nurse-In and this calendar?

I happened to see a post on Facebook by Nationwide Nurse-In Events, requesting mothers who breastfeed or pump or fathers who bottle-feed breast milk to submit their favorite breastfeeding moments, and I instantly knew that I wanted to be a part of this. Breastfeeding is something that I have become very passionate about. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for women to be shamed for feeding their babies with their bodies. It’s something that is completely natural and beautiful. I figure, even if it is just one picture, I could do my part in helping to normalize breastfeeding.

How long have you breastfed, how long do you plan to?

My son Kyson is four and a half months old and we are really just playing it by ear right now, but I am hoping that we can reach the two year mark. He is not my first, but he is my first child that I have had to return to work with, so I was worried about having to pump. At first, I nursed on demand at home and pumped on my breaks at work so that we could maintain our breastfeeding relationship. Now, I am fortunate enough that his new daycare is very close to where I work, so I am able to go and nurse him throughout the day. I don’t see any end in sight any time soon.

Have you had issues breastfeeding in public?

I am fortunate enough to have avoided any negative experiences so far. A few inquiring eyes, but nothing that has made me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, several friends of mine haven’t had the same experience. They have had women come up to them and tell them to put their breasts away; tell them that they should go to a strip club where they would actually profit off of what they were doing. I have also had friends who have been asked to cover up or leave businesses altogether.

What should women ultimately know about breastfeeding?

Do what you feel is best. Don’t let anyone get in the way of that.

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Purchase your own Nationwide Nurse-in Events calendar at nationwidenursein.com. it will be used to promote and fund awareness of the April 29 event, and check out the site for some great breastfeeding support plus info on state laws and regulations for breastfeeding. Check out the event on Facebook too.

“Me Time” even if it means staying up late…

Posted on April 28, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I am almost always tired. I usually fall into bed at a reasonable hour – most nights anyways. But every once in a while I need to stay up late. Sometimes it’s binging on a TV show or reading or taking a bath. Occasionally I need to have a marathon gab session with my bestie. And every once in a long while I find myself just Googling the hell out of weird stuff until I’ve gone so far down a rabbit hole I find myself reading about vestigial tails.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxu7NEoKC8&w=560&h=315]

I used to be a night owl. I’m still more myself at night than I am in the first 5 or 6 hours I’m up – especially when my day starts at 6am!

The days are filled with cleaning and housekeeping and long hours at work. There’s fun with the kids and chores and teaching and learning. It’s all good, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But every now and then I need a few hours of ‘me’ time.

It took me a long time to understand that ‘me time’ wasn’t a bad thing, and it wasn’t because I wasn’t enjoying the rest of my day. “Me time” is just pretty rare and much too indulgent when there are other little wonderous human beings depending on you for each and every one of their needs. They just come first. And bit by bit, you forget to do your own stuff.

“Me time” is worth staying up for – once in a while!

10 questions with Relationship and Parenting Coach & Counsellor Lauren Millman

Posted on April 27, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in 10 Questions With .

Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Now try to be a parent and a spouse at the same time. Not sleeping, trying to manage a household – life can be spin out of control so quickly. Urban Suburban Mommy thought it was about time that we spoke to a relationship expert for tips and advice on how to manage life with kids. We are excited to share our 10 questions with parenting specialist Lauren Millman – we are sure you will find her answers to be very insightful.

1. What do you say to parents who are sleep deprived and are trying to be the most effective parent/partner?

We know that when we’re sleep deprived, we’re short-tempered, curt, and often very reactive, living in the ‘heat of the moment.” Let your kids know that your tired and short on patience, but that you’re going to try your best to be kind, level-headed, and responsive to them. Parents can use techniques like breathing in slowly and exhaling slowly to lower the sympathetic nervous system which will keep you in check and calm. I also recommend the smiling technique. We can trick the brain into thinking we’re ok and in control, even when we’re not, by placing a gentle smile upon our faces. Try yelling or being angry while smiling! See, it works!!!

2. What tips can you provide to help parents carve out me time or couple time?

Life is so busy these days, with working moms and dads, kids, extra-curricular activities, the busyness of being busy, and finding time for yourself, your significant other, or even a date-night, can be difficult at best. Arrange “couple time” or “me time” ahead of time. Sit down with your partner and review each others’ schedules in order to make time for one-on-one time for conversation and catch-up, and even a date night. Then, book it in, just like an appointment. By doing this, you can mentally and organizationally prepare-get a sitter, put the kids to bed, sneak a lunch with each other, and plan that date-night.

3. How do you help parents work out their frustrations with their kids or partners?

One of the biggest pitfalls of any relationship is the lack of outlets to express that frustration as well as the lack of effective communication. When we feel frustrated, we often escalate emotions, and feed into that frustration which, in the end, is counter-productive and ineffective to the goals we’re trying to reach. When you begin to feel frustrated, know that what your doing and identify that the way in which you are handling things isn’t working.Take a time out, re-group, compose yourself, and then move forward. When we’re frustrated we’re in fight or flight mode, and we’re reacting and not thinking clearly. It’s o.k. to take a step back, and wait. Disengage kindly and calmly until you can come back and lead by example. You can also write out your frustrations in a diary or notebook, wait, and then assess if you need to revisit the situation or if your frustrations have subsided. Pick your battles, right?! Calm does win the day. You will be able to express yourself in a dignified manner and save face. You are now able to give your child or your partner, the courtesy of a successful outcome too.

4. What advice do you give to moms who feel like they are failing and can’t manage everything?

You can’t manage everything. You may be able to for a short while, but eventually it can catch up with you in some not-so-nice ways: like feeling completely overwhelmed, anxious, panic-stricken, highly reactive, or even lashing out or yelling frequently. We can be Supermoms, but with balance. Ask for help. Accept help. Say no.

I learned that if I was going to be the best Mom, wife, and person to myself, I had to set limits. No one is judging you. You’re a busy mom. You’re not failing, you’re just taking on too much and you’re not a machine. Let yourself off the hook. You’re doing the best you can with what you have at this moment in time. It’s all temporary. And remember, you’re not supposed to manage everything. You’re supposed to love your kids, and enjoy them.

5. How important is “me” time and how often should it be taken?

If mom is happy, the kids are happy. “Me” time is critical for moms to recharge and reboot. I always tell my mom clients to make a date with yourself. Dads should do this too. Make a lunch date with your girlfriends, or go to a movie. You can even take yourself out for a nice walk, a Starbucks coffee, or buy yourself that favorite undergarment from Victoria’s Secret or that amazing lip gloss you’ve wanted. You’re not breaking the bank but rather, its about spending quality time with one of the most important, special and valuable people you know. You! But here’s the catch – No electronics!

6. Is there such a thing as “balance”?

I get asked this question all the time, and I always say yes, there can be, when and if you allow yourself the space to breathe and let some things go until later or tomorrow. The best thing to do is to map out your day, and structure your week from stat to finish. That means, create a schedule for you that works with your lifestyle and commitments, and get your older children and significant other involved. Of course, it’s easier to ask your partner to help out rather than your kids, because we are convinced they complete a task incorrectly. And to that, I always say, “So what!” So what if it’s not done the way you would do it? At least it’s getting done. Now you are able to get a little balance and free up your time.

7. At what age do you think that children are really affected by their parent’s behavior?

Babies as young 10 months are attuned to your tone and will respond accordingly. Sometimes babies will mirror behavior or will act still and quiet as they attempt to assess if their situation is safe or dangerous. We have to remember, as Adlerian Psychology explains, that children are hard-wired to emulate the behavior around them, kind of a monkey-see, monkey-do effect. When we raise our voices, yell, or scream, we’re giving license to our children to repeat the same behaviors. We can’t say that as a parent, we have different rules. Children are also wired to have their own buckets of power which are also filled with fairness, respect, and dignity. How you treat children will affect how they treat others, including you. Our job as parents is to empower. The best way to do this is lead by example in every way possible.

8. Why would you recommend counselling to parents?

When your current approach isn’t working, coaching and counselling for parents can be invaluable as it can help with learning new skills, strategies, and techniques. Counselling can help you get out of a rut when you find that no matter what you’re doing, the behavior just isn’t correctable. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of stepping out of your box and seeing a little bit of the forest, when you part the trees. Other times, it may be that mom and dad are having a hard time and those issues are interfering with successful parenting and the family dynamic. Counselling can help you deal and cope with issues and there are many in life.

9. Why is it important to ask for help?

The hardest thing to do is to ask for help, because when we do, we’re acknowledging that we can’t manage. That’s hard on the ego. I was there once too—it was so difficult for me to ask for help. But I did it. It saved everything, including my sanity and the health and wellness of my family. The nicest thing about asking for help is that it puts you ahead of everyone else who hasn’t. Now that you asked for help – the hardest part is over. Now you are halfway to achieving happiness, learning positive parenting skills, as well as effective and successful communication. All you need to do is pick up the phone or text a few characters. If you feel like your struggles are bigger than you, or getting the better of you, it’s OK and it’s time to ask for help.

10. How can counselling help families?

Coaching and counselling can bring families and individuals together so that the family dynamic is harmonious, happy, and everyone learns how to get along. In counselling, families are made aware of what the rules and expectations are, what the negotiables and non-negotiables are, and how everyone can work toward the common goal of happy. No family is perfect, and there will most certainly be ups, downs, challenges and pit falls. But armed with the right tools, and the “know-how” about how to handle these situations when they arise, counselling can ensure a family dynamic that is kind, calm, thoughtful, and happy.

About Lauren Millman

In practice for over 12 years, Lauren Millman is a highly sought-after Toronto Marriage & Relationship Coach and Counsellor, Mental Health Practitioner and Parenting Specialist, and is a member of the Ontario Association for Family Mediation. Lauren is a regular guest contributor on TV’s Rogers Daytime! York Region, and The Mediation Station. She has also been a guest on SiriusXM Radio Canada. Lauren is an international best- selling author, writes regularly for several online publications including Brazenwoman, PinkandBlue North America, and SiriusXM Canada, and was recently featured in the Toronto Star. Lauren continuously gives back to the community. In 2014, Lauren was the Recipient of the International Women In Leadership Award.

Urban Suburban Daddy’s gifts for new dads

Posted on April 25, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Mommy Approved, Urban Suburban Daddy .

Lets face it mamas, most of the gifts we get are from other mamas. Those guys don’t seem to go all gaga over baby registries – and even when it’s your hubby’s friend, he expects you to to pick something up for their new arrival.

A close friend just had a baby, and we couldn’t be more excited. Even though I’m dying to get my dose of newborn sweetness, I’m not sure when we’ll go over. We’re just not going to descend on their quiet home with the boys in tow. Sean really wanted to get them something and actually discussed it with me! While mamas are all about the list of necessities and the inside scoop on what the new mama needs, my Urban Suburban Daddy wanted to get something cute, sweet and more personal.

Conventional and useful weren’t as relevant.

So without further ado, here’s Urban Suburban Daddy’s baby gift list:

The Ramones Onesie

Pick your favourite band, could be The Ramones, Green Day, The Cure, AC DC – a rockstar onesie is the way to go. Sure it will endure the diaper blowouts and spitups like all the rest, but it still says “Yah, we’re good” like no little pink polka dot number could.

Art Work by Dan Tanenbaum at Art Interiors

Under Construction Series by Dan Tanenbaum at Art Interiors

Baby’s first piece of art – why not? If it’s not to juvenile, it’s something that can grow with them. And if you pick a great budding artist, who knows? It could actually be the present that keeps on giving if the artist’s career takes off!

Darth Vader Stuffie

Admittedly, mine is a Star Wars fan, so “something Star Wars” tops every gift list. Stuffies aren’t presents that mommies give each other, we’re way too practical for that – but kids do love them, and they need a few so that they can get really attached to one and have it to snuggle. Darth Vader fits the bill perfectly.

Van’s Checkerboard Slip-ons

Of course any self-respecting baby needs a good pair of kicks, and Urban Suburban Daddy was torn between the Van’s and the Jordans. While we know they won’t need them for a long time and will probably outgrow them before they see any milage at all, they’re pretty cute!

Crosley Cruiser Turntable

While mama might think of something a little more practical in the way of playing music, this really is a cute little number. They come in some great colours and have a jack for connecting your iPod or phone for audio. It’s perfect for DJ Diaper Pants since we know how much they like to stay up ALLLLLLLLL night!

While none of these will likely ever show up on any baby shower registry, sometimes something fun is just what the new parents need. And that’s okay. We like Urban Suburban Daddy’s take on gifts for the new dad, they give us hope that we haven’t entirely lost our edge!

10 Questions with Clara Power from TPI, an authorized Disney vacation planner agency

Posted on April 21, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Bon Voyage .

1. When is the best time of year to go in terms of: A) getting the best deal B) not having the worst crowds?

This is such a big question that every client asks and I always answer the same way – the least busy times to go is outside of any school or national holiday. Christmas, New Years, March Break, Easter, July & August etc. are peak times, so if you are looking for times that are not as busy, plan to visit outside of those times. The best rates are usually outside of the peak times as well.

2. How many days should I plan to spend at the park?

What many people don’t know is the Disney World in Orlando Florida consists of 4 separate theme parks: Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot and Animal Kingdom. I believe all first time visitors should visit all 4 parks at least once, as they all have so much to offer. If time permits, I also encourage clients to visit Magic Kingdom twice, since it is such a full park and there is so much to see and do. If time is limited and only 1 park is possible, definitely Magic Kingdom.

3. What time of day should I get there? Is morning better before the crowds or will I be missing out if I am not there for the evening parade/fireworks?

The earlier the better! If you can get to the theme park as soon as it opens, you will have the opportunity to go on many of the busiest attractions before the lines become too long. It’s also one of my favourite times to be there, when you can see the park without the throngs of people.

I usually like to get to the park right at rope drop time and get some of the most phenomenal pictures as there is no one blocking my view. When traveling with young children, I encourage my clients to head back to their resort after lunch for a rest or some pool time and then return to one of the parks in the evening that is having fireworks or parades. This way you get refreshed and ready to take it all in again. As the children get older, spending the full day at the park ensures that you don’t miss any of the action.

4. Can I use these passes at other theme parks or do I have to purchase each park separately?

Disney offers a ‘More you stay, the less you pay’ Disney has a number of different theme park tickets ranging from 1 day to 10+ days, and with each additional day purchased, the per-day price does decrease. You can either purchase a base ticket which allows you to visit 1 park per day or a park hopper ticket that allows you to visit as many parks per day as you wish. The Waterpark add on also allows visits to the 2 Disney waterparks – Disney’s Blizzard Beach and Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon.

5. How do Fast Passes work?

Fast Passes are FREE and they are so worth using. When staying onsite these can be booked 60 days in advance and those staying off property they can booked 30 days in advance. All guests are entitled to 3 Fast Pass selections per day and they allow you to by-pass the queue for the ride or attraction you have selected. Once you have used your 3 Fast Passes, you can retrieve additional Fast Passes while in the Disney Park using the Disney App. Definitely a great time saver.

6. Is it worth it to stay on site? What are the benefits?

Without question! Staying on site offers so many benefits including extra magic hours, complimentary transportation throughout WDW, magic bands, early Fast Pass reservations etc. Staying onsite ensures that you get the full Disney experience and you never have to leave the magic!

7. Are there any secrets that I should know about to book ahead (like the Bippity Bobbity Boutique or meals with the characters for example).

Best piece of advice is to book early! For the best prices and the best options, booking early is always the way to go. Dining Reservations open 180 days prior, and some of the hottest and most popular restaurants book up very early.

Does your daughter want to have breakfast in Cinderella’s Castle with some of her favourite princesses? This is one of the most difficult reservations to secure if not booked at the 180-day mark. Other popular reservations include Be Our Guest and Chef Mickey which are also some of my personal favourites. When booking a resort stay, Disney requires a $200USD deposit with final payment due 30 days before arrival. If the price drops from the day you booked until final payment day, the booking can be adjusted – making booking early a win-win situation.

8. Can I bring my own food and drinks to the park?

Guests are permitted to bring food items – such as snacks or foods that do not require heating – into Disney theme parks. Inform a Security Cast Member of any food items when you enter the park. Foldable, soft sider coolers are also permitted, but be sure that any items package are in plastic not glass constrainers, as those will be confiscated. If bringing food, it’s beneficial to have a stroller to carry it in, but remember wagons are not permitted.

9. A family of 4: 2 kids 2 adults, with airfare and a healthy amount of park time, what’s the average budget you recommend (CAD or USD).

When staying at a Disney property, the prices can vary significantly depending on the time of year and the type of Disney accommodations selected. I have sent clients to a Value Resort for 7 days including the meal plan and a 5 days base ticket for as low at $2500 USD. When staying at a Deluxe property, prices will increase depending on the resort, type of room, view (theme park views are most expensive) and there are special room categories including club level or overwater bungalows. Flights to Orlando can also vary and from Toronto – anywhere under $500 per person roundtrip is good. With extra planning and good advice, Disney can be affordable for everyone.

10. Are there any big ‘don’ts’ for going to Disney? What should you avoid, what are expectations that are most often disappointing?

What I always like to remind my clients is that going to Walt Disney World is a vacation – you are supposed to enjoy it! Planning is key, but overscheduling is not going to benefit anyone. Plan based on your children and what they can or can’t handle. If they are easily stimulated, plan lots of down time as a meltdown isn’t going to make a memorable experience.

Include your children in the planning process. Get them excited about what’s to come so they can be mentally prepared – and if possible try to enjoy a resort day with no parks to rest your feet. Use the services of a professional who can help navigate and make sure you get the most value for your dollar by planning special VIP tours, specialty dining and unique activities.

Clara Power is a mother to 2 well traveled kids, Andrew and Lauren. She is a Personal Travel Advisor at her own travel agency, Clara Power TPI, which is in association with Travel Professionals International. As an active traveler having visited over 35 countries and almost every continent, (still working on Antarctica), Clara is no stranger in understanding the unique wants and needs of families travelling together making her your expert choice for creating those special family vacation experiences. Her agency is also recognized as an Authorized Disney Vacation Planner due to her extensive knowledge and superior service.

Do not hesitate to call her today to learn about what she can do to help you plan a seamless and enjoyable vacation!
cpower@tpi.ca
clarapower.ca
ClaraPowerTPI

Mmmmmmmmm macarons

Posted on April 19, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Delicious Dishes .

We love when Nicole gets into the kitchen. Always creative, here kids are a great inspiration and she enjoys trying out new things! When she made these gorgeous Macarons, we just *had* to ask.

Nicole: Every mom knows that kids (especially little girls for the most part) love and I mean LOV E tea parties. In February I decided to take advantage of one of the seemingly plentiful days off of school to host a tea party for my five-year-old daughter. Call it sleep deprivation, glutton for punishment or I just really like a challenge – but I decided at 4am the morning of her tea party to try my hand at making macarons. Have you ever attempted to whisk eggs without the use of a mixer till stiff peaks form – JUST to avoid waking the small people in your house at a completely unacceptable hour? No? I would suggest that unless you want to avoid a very good arm work out – plan ahead and make these a day ahead!

The recipe that I used called for almond flour, something I didn’t have on hand – however I did have whole almonds. A tip I found after-the-fact – if you are going to make your own almond flour for this recipe, process your almonds as fine as possible (without turning them into almond butter). I put them through my sifter to get out any larger pieces that remained, then process them one more time with the confectioners’ sugar to make sure that everything had a consistent texture. Also, if you do not have superfine sugar, you can process regular sugar in a spice mill/coffee grinder for a few seconds and it comes pretty close! As you can see in the picture – I don’t own a macaron mat however if you are a perfectionist you can trace circles on one side of parchment paper (just make sure you pipe the batter onto the opposite side you draw on, or you can be a rebel like me and free hand it.

What you need:

Macaron:
– 2/3 cup almond meal or ground almonds
– 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
– 3 large egg whites, room temperature and preferably aged up to 3 days
– 5 tablespoons granulated sugar
– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
optional:
– gel coloring to get the color you want
– flavours like cocoa or various extracts

Creamy filling:
– 7 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
– 2 egg yolks
– 1/4 cup granulated sugar
– 3 1/2 tablespoons milk
– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (I swapped this for peppermint extract)
options:
food coloring, gel color or natural food extract color

What you do:

Macaron:

Preheat the oven to 280ºF, and position 2 racks in the lower section of the oven. Line 2 rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper. If you have time, draw 1-inch circles on the back of each sheet, spacing the circles at least 1/2-inch apart.
If your almond meal is very coarse, grind it with the powdered sugar in a food processor until fine. Sift the almond meal-powdered sugar mixture twice through a mesh sieve. Add any dry food flavorings to the this mixture.
Place egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer (or use a hand mixer), and begin to beat on medium-high. When the eggs are frothy, gradually add granulated sugar 1 tablespoon at a time until fully incorporated. Continue to beat the egg white mixture until glossy and stiff peaks form when you lift the beaters. Gently stir in the vanilla extract. Add the gel food coloring to meringue. Be careful to not overbeat the meringue (e.g., the meringue takes on a clumpy texture).
Add half of the sifted almond mixture, and gently fold it into the meringue using a flexible silicone spatula. Lift from the bottom, up around the sides, and toward the middle, being careful to not overagitate the meringue and lose too much air. Once the almond mixture is predominantly incorporated, add the second half and repeat the folding motion.
When the almond mixture is just incorporated, you will need to transform the batter into the appropriate texture. Using the flat of the spatula, “punch” down into the center of the batter, then scrape more batter from the sides to the center, and punch again. You will need to repeat this 10-15 times (or more, depending on your arm strength and the beginning texture of your batter) until the batter slowly and continuously drips back into the bowl when you scoop it up with the spatula. Think of the consistency of molten lava. For the best results, punch the batter a few times, check the consistency, then punch a few more times, etc. Do not make the batter too runny or the macarons won’t rise as they should, and you could end up with oil stains on the surface.
Pour batter into a pastry bag fitted with a 0.4-inch tip. In a pinch, you can also use a gallon-size Ziploc bag: just snip a teeny bit from one of the bottom corners. Twist and clip the top of the bag to avoid overflow. On your prepared baking sheets, pipe out 1-inch rounds in the circles you drew (remember to draw the circles on the back side of your parchment to avoid ink or pencil stains on your macarons!).
Holding the baking sheet in both hands, rap each baking sheet firmly on the counter two or three times. This smooths out the tops and helps form the “pied” or frilly foot on the bottoms of the macarons. Allow the piped macarons to dry, uncovered, for at least 15 minutes. The macarons should form a very thin, smooth crust where, if you tap it lightly with your finger, the batter will not stick to your finger. If after 15 minutes, the batter is still sticky, let it dry longer. This may take up to an hour on humid days.
Place both baking sheets in the oven and bake for 15-18 minutes. After the first 2 minutes, open the oven to allow any excess humidity to escape. Halfway through, swap oven racks and rotate the sheets for even baking. The macarons are done when they are baked all the way through and the shells are just hard. Take care to not underbake (insides will still be mushy) or overbake (tops will begin to brown). Remove them from the oven, and cool on baking sheet placed on a wire rack.
When fully cooled, assemble the macarons with your choice of filling. The assembled macarons can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to one week.

Creamy filling:

Cut butter into pieces, and mash with a spatula until the consistency resembles mayonnaise.
In a small bowl, whisk the egg yolks, then add the granulated sugar, and whisk until the mixture lightens to an off-white and you can no longer see the granules of sugar. Add the milk, and whisk to combine.
Pour the egg mixture into a small saucepan, and heat over low heat, whisking frequently to ensure that the mixture does not curdle or scorch. Cook until the mixture becomes thick and custardy, like pudding.
Pour the egg mixture back into its bowl, and whisk constantly until it returns to room temperature. Whisk in the butter in three batches, add the vanilla, add the food coloring and stir until smooth and all ingredients are fully combined. Pipe or spread onto one macaron half and sandwich between the other.

I chose to tint the filling and not the cookie itself – using mint extract in place of vanilla. Believe me when I say I can understand why this is Parisian favorite – who doesn’t like a pillowy cloud of flavored sugar? I know my daughter and her friends sure did! I based mine off of this recipe.

The things I find myself doing…

Posted on April 18, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

My former self would never have imagined the situations I’d find myself in and the things I’d say when I had kids.

I’m saving this top 10 list to remind myself exactly what I went through when they’re teenagers so that I can vindicate myself accordingly.

10. Why did you just wipe your nose on my shirt?

9. No, the cat does not want another bath.

8. If the toy is being bad and making you fight, then I’m going to have to give the toy a time out.

7. Please don’t throw up on me again.

6. Who peed on the bathroom wall?

5. Santa is not bringing you a gold bar or a mansion for Christmas.

4. If you don’t like it you don’t have to eat it, but please don’t spit it out on my plate.

3. Why did you put that into the toilet?

2. Did you wipe your bum?

1. No, I don’t want to smell your feet.

Only some of my best moments, I can’t even really put them into order.

Maxing out in Mexico

Posted on April 15, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Bon Voyage .

FEATURE shane and sullivan pool oasis mexico

You always hear about people taking last-minute vacations – well Saturday my husband and I went into a travel agency with the muppets in tow, and asked to book whatever was leaving the next morning.

I will definitely try that again, because it worked out so well. There was no anticipation with the kids. there was no build-up. There was just 4 plane tickets to Cancun, Mexico with an all-inclusive 4.5 star resort at the other end.

My husband often works 16-18 hour days and my 9-to-5 grind starts at 6.30 am and ends after the kids are in bed, the clothes are put away and the dishes are done. The days merge into weeks and into months. Spending time in an all-inclusive resort where the biggest decision is “beach or pool” was absolutely heavenly! Good food and bottomless tropical drinks were just a bonus, time with the family was all I wanted.

Time with the family and a swim-up bar.

We stayed at The Grand Oasis Palm. As far as luxury resort chains go, it was nice. Numerous restaurants, a few different pools, a decent beach and spotlessly clean. I couldn’t believe how we’d lucked out.

On day 3 we decided to check out Kids Club.

Kids Club!

I never knew that such a thing existed, but when it comes to all-inclusive resorts, you HAVE TO check out the Kids Club. It was definitely the most spectacular surprise.

Now maybe this shows how little we travel. We go to Great Wolf Lodge a lot, and we stay in nice hotels around the city for staycations, but we’ve never been to a resort as a family, and we had no clue!

Kids Club at The Grand Oasis Palm was a child’s dream come true. A big pool with two waterslides, a room complete with a dozen gaming systems – Wii, PlayStation, XBOX – and beanbag chairs for the kids to veg out on, an arts and crafts room, games room, theatre, a playground with climbers and a trampoline with harness, movie nights, a nap room and a huge staff of childcare providers to watch over the ensuing madness.

The boys couldn’t wait to go to Kids Club and hang out with their friends. They thought they’d found the best place on earth! And while we wanted to spend time with them, it was nice to take a quiet break by the pool and have a little bit of adult time. We even did a romantic dinner one evening at the fine dining restaurant on site. The boys went a few times over the rest of the week and have been telling endless stories about friends they made.

And to whomever invented Kids Club, thank you, you’re a genius.

Cancun is nice because the flight to Mexico from Toronto is about 4 hours. The hotels are under 25 minutes from the airport and, surprisingly, the boys handled the travel quite well. I think it has something to do with the in-seat personal screen with movies, shows and games for entertainment. They certainly didn’t have those when I was a kid!

We were even able to rent a car for the day and drive to Tulum to see the ancient Mayan ruins and go to the market. And because the Oasis is a chain, with a location in Tulum, we were able to visit the Grand Oasis Tulum and enjoy the facilities and our all-inclusive privileges there for the day instead of wasting the sunshine on the 2 hour drive back to Cancun.

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Sunkissed and relaxed, a week away was just what we needed. We’re already dreaming about the next destination. What’s your dream vacation?

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The bottomless piña colada

Posted on April 12, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Delicious Dishes .

We just got back from a wonderful week in Mexico. While I know the “all inclusive resort” life isn’t really Mexico, it was a great – and much needed getaway, where I was able to consume way too many piña coladas and enjoy the beach day after day after day.

I’m back home.

It’s cold.

The harsh, sober reality of no more days by the pool has hit. The only thing to do now is perfect my piña colada recipe and share it. I hope you’ll mix up a batch too, and enjoy some dreams of sunshine and beaches with me.

What you need:

– 3 ounces rum – you can use cocnut rum, golden rum, white rum, light rum – I like Appleton White Jamaica Rum, but Bacardi, Captain Morgan, Royal Oak Trinidadian Rum and the German Old Guadeloupe are delish too.
– 5 ounces pineapple juice
– 3 ounces coconut cream
– 10-15 ice cubes (or frozen pinapple chunks)

What you do:

Easy peasy: Toss it all into the blender until it’s whipped smooth and frothy. Pour into 2 frosted glasses and garnish with a chunk of frozen pineapple.
(Seriously, 3 shots of rum – you should share, though you don’t have to!)

¡Salud!

The grandparent situation

Posted on April 11, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

the grandparent siguation - nana helen and grampsy leo

My kids have grandparents, but they don’t have “grandparents.”

When I was a kid, my Nana Helen and Grampsy Leo would dote over me. They let me sleep over pretty much every weekend. They indulged me when I had special occasions. They were the ones I wanted when I had a problem, a secret or just needed comfort. My Nana Helen always had a bottomless pot of chicken soup on the stove and a vat of homemade applesauce in the fridge, and my grandfather would wake up at dawn to go to the bagel shop and bring home a dozen while they were still warm.

My parents were 23 and 24 when they had me. My grandparents were about 55 when I was born. They loved having me – us, all of their grandchildren – and spent a lot of time with us.

My own mother really wanted to be a grandmother. She was always asked when I would have kids, and I always tortured her with the “I’m never having kids!” line. I was a free spirit in my 20s, and I had no plans for settling down, even as I hit 30.

She passed away a few months after my 30th birthday. She was 54.

“Dad, do I look pregnant to you?” I asked, with that tell-tale smile plastered on my face. He was he lit up like a traffic light. But, unfortunately, he passed away at the age of 61, when my first son was only 6 weeks old.

While my parents died fairly young, one of the inevitable drawbacks of starting a family at the latter end of childbearing age is that you don’t always get to have your parents there with you. At 40, your parents are hitting their 60s and 70s – or older. They may be with you, but they’re not necessarily up for the sleepovers and big days out. They’re not up for chasing after a toddler or having a couple of little ones race around their home leaving a trail of mess wherever they roam.

What’s even more difficult, many 40-something parents who have small children are dealing with sleep exhaustion, tantrums and the energy of young children, and simultaneously dealing with parents and/or inlaws that are starting to decline in health, perhaps losing a parent, and having to deal with the stress that old age brings – health problems, financial issues, limited ability to live independently and the struggles that come with that phase of life.

Many of us are in the position of looking after both young children and elderly parents.

Our kids don’t get those grandparents that dote on them. They don’t get the sleepovers, the cuddles, the confidants and the warm, loving memories. Our ‘advanced maternal age’ has taken away the opportunity for our kids to know their grandparents the way we knew ours.

And though it’s our own doing, it’s just not fair.

The birthday party rant

Posted on April 8, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I’m betting I’m not alone in this, so feel free to give me your 2 cents.

Birthday parties drive me nuts! These kid parties are out of control.

Now let me preface this rant by saying, I love throwing birthday parties, I love everything birthday! I think it’s a great opportunity to celebrate. That’s not the problem. It’s the insanity that has started to swirl around the birthday party expectations that’s making my head hurt.

The presents:

I have a $25 limit on birthday presents. I like my kids to pick out their own gifts, since they know what their friends like. I actually take the time to have my kids add stickers, make cards, draw on the paper and have some fun with it – as long as I’ve remembered before the party and am not racing across town to try to get them there on time and whipping into the local toystore last minute (thank goodness they offer free gift-wrapping services!!).

But I’ve got 2 kids. They’re well liked and get invited to a lot of birthdays. We’ve had weekends where there are two birthday parties for each kid. $100 in presents, and that’s not the only parties they’ll have that month. It gets EXPENSIVE! People complain about the cost of daycare, the cost of diapers, well here I am to add birthday gifts to that list! Never mind that my weekends are not my own.

I kind of like these new ‘group gift’ sites that handle the guestlist. There’s one that is used pretty commonly around here, where the child receives money and splits it between a specific present they’re saving for and a charity of their choice. So instead of 25 Lego sets the kid can buy a bike and donate to the local animal rescue. You just transfer the cash right then and there while you’re RSVPing and you’re done.

I don’t love the ‘expectation’ of gift giving, even though it absolutely is an expectation, but it’s organized and easy and so I’m good with this.

The venues:

I feel lucky that my kids are spring and summer babies, I can have parties outdoors. Living in the city, I have a small house that doesn’t easily accommodate more than 5 kids at a time. I feel they won’t remember specific gifts, but they will remember the big, fun parties, so I try to throw them at a community centre party room or the big park at the end of the street. I like to invite the whole class and always offer that siblings are welcome. I find it no trouble at all to bake up a few extra cupcakes and make it fun for all.

I can’t understand some of the venues in the city. I just can’t justify $500, $600, $800 on a kid’s birthday party! It’s not even so much about the money (although I think that is steep!), it’s about the expectations we’re creating for our kids. With a small home, I get it. We need to find a venue, and frankly, it’s pretty sweet to be able to pack up and leave the mess for someone else to clean up, but the aquarium, science centre, museum – these ‘high-end’ party venues don’t make sense to me. The guest list is extremely small, the cost per child very high and then, it seems, there’s a need to outdo other parties, or ‘better than last year’ even.

SMDH. They’re 6, they don’t even know.

The birthday child:

These big venues, the big productions, this can be a bit overwhelming to the birthday child. Know what I hate the most though?

All of the presents.

In years past I tried “your presence is presents enough” type cuteness for No Gifts Please, but they got gifts anyways. And the kids want gifts. My husband pointed out that it was all part of the party expectations for our children. That they would be sad to have all their gifts taken away. Instead, they open them up slowly, over the following few weeks, and enjoy them one at a time – instead of opening them all at once and being overwhelmed and undergrateful.

And all of the gifts – they have enough toys. As much as I LOOOOOOVE Lego, superheroes, trucks, Skylanders and Transformers, they have enough. We tried the “one in, one out” method, but it was painful. We’ve asked them to donate, but I don’t think they’re quite ready for that yet, last year my older one was so stressed out about having to pick what to give away and not enjoy that I quickly put the kybosh on that idea. Why have a party if it’s going to stress your kid out?

The invitations:

I love designing their invitations. I have them printed up at the local copy store and even though I get rave compliments – and offer to do them for other mamas – they’re actually cheaper than buying invites. Especially when you’re handing out 30-40 of them. (Or 60 – like last year, when instead of giving them out to the daycare and the class, Urban Suburban Daddy misunderstood my instructions and stuffed them into all of the daycare cubbies of the other two classes. So we had 3 daycare classes, a school class plus siblings. Lesson learned.)

I also email the invitations to all of the parents. I never know if the kids get them home or not. My son occasionally gives me an invite a few days after a party has already happened.

The politics & the fallout:

“I invited him but he didn’t invite me.”

“I wanted to sit next to the birthday girl.”

“I wanted the piece of cake with the blue rose.”

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFTTTTTT

Seriously. Sit back at a birthday party and notice how many little squabbles occur over the course of the 2.5 hours. Kids have developed these crazy expectations and are indulged in ways they can’t manage. They are fed junk food and sugared up, and then sent home to mama a very wired, hot mess.

Is it a drop-off party? Do I stay? Do I go? What do I do with my other child if it’s not a drop-off party and numbers are a big deal? I’ve tried to pay for my other child, I’ve tried to find another parent who can take mine. I’ve tried to understand why my son would sooner give up his XBOX than miss a birthday party. It’s a social standing and a testament of friendship – plus they get to do all kinds of cool stuff, from circus classes to science experiments, to being taught how to make pizza.

I have no idea what the solution is, but I feel much better getting that off of my chest!

Suburban Mommy Michelle adds: My son just recently started JK and I too feel like I have now become part of the birthday turbine. In fact, I do remember dropping a pretty penny on my son’s last 4 birthdays. In fact, for what I spent on his 1st birthday party, our family could have enjoyed a vacation instead! Our second is born in the summer, so hoping this helps with eliminating some costs on venue. I do agree that birthdays are out of control – now that I think of it – so is every holiday. We have become such a commercial society. Perhaps instead of presents this year, I will ask if parents minded chipping in for things like daycare, diapers, formula..you get the drill.

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