toddler – Urban Suburban Mommy

Keep Calm and Don’t Forget The Snow Pants

Posted on November 21, 2016 by Alexis Nicols Posted in The Struggle is Real .

If I were to measure my success as a parent by the number of things I had to remember in an average day, I would be, at best, a mediocre caregiver. You might let me walk your dog and water your plants while you were on vacation, but you probably wouldn’t let me use a spreading knife to butter little Johnny’s toast.

Today was the first bitterly cold day of the season, marking the arrival of that frigid winter we were all promised. I bundled the kids in hats, winter coats, boots and mittens (which is to say I wrestled with the baby for a full ten minutes trying to get them on his hands for more than a nanosecond. Nate laughed and pointed, in case you were wondering whose child he is.) In an unrelated thought, if you have any tips on how to fuse mittens to a screaming toddler’s hands without the use of staples, I’m all ears. So, out the door we went, with everything we needed to brace ourselves against the cold.

Everything except their snow pants.

It was the first thing my mom noticed. “Where are the boys’ snow pants?” she asked with alarm. Crappity craptastic, I thought.

“Um, I think Ben’s pants are in the closet and Nate’s…ah, I’m not 100% sure. Maybe…he doesn’t have any?” I was starting to sound like a teenager who was about to get into some serious trouble.

Needless to say, after dropping the kids off at school we both went back to our respective homes and went digging for snow pants. I tore my place apart, cursing myself the entire time. Why can’t I get anything right? Why can’t I remember anything? What kind of a parent am I? Snow pants were found and my father very graciously drove them to the school. Crisis averted – until next time.

For some reason, I couldn’t let it go. What the actual hell was my problem?

There are measured degrees of success. On the one hand are the moms who have it all together, like elusive rainbow unicorns with nice handbags. The other end of the spectrum…well, it makes me too sad to talk about really. Let’s say that just because some people give birth to humans doesn’t mean they’re innately programmed to raise them.

I’ve come to realize that I’m square in the middle of the scale. I don’t have staff. No one to clean or cook for me or help me get the kids ready in the morning or to remind me about the damn snow pants. I don’t begrudge people who do (believe me) but it makes me 100% responsible, all the time – good, bad, ugly or otherwise. There will be mistakes. The challenge then lies in not repeating them.

The other challenge is being kind to myself and moving on. Am I tired? Yes. Are our belongings distributed among several content cleaning companies across the GTA? Yes. Do I have forty loads of laundry and dishes to do? Check. Between putting my house and my life back together, things have slipped, not the least of which is my Swiss-cheese brain. I have to remind myself every.single.day. to forgive myself, let it go and move on. Tomorrow will be a better day.

“You know honey,” my mom reminded me. “The kids are fed, dressed and loved. You’re not doing too badly.” That’s high praise. I’ll take it.

Top 5 things I swore I’d never do as a parent (And did immediately after becoming one)

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Urban Suburban Mommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

photo: Travelwayoflife

I’ll admit it – before kids I took a hard line on things I knew nothing about. I read a lot of books, I watched a lot of movies, I had everything figured out. I used words like “never” and “always” as though I had a finger on the pulse of something that other parents, throughout centuries of child-rearing, knew nothing about.

I was going to nail this parenting thing because I was an expert.

At being a complete jackhole.

As you read, know that you will never judge me as hard as I’ve judged myself. If I could go back in time and punch myself in the neck, believe me, I would. Here’s a list of the “nevers and always’” that just didn’t pan out for me.

photo: David Salafia

I will never let my child meltdown in public

I used to glare at parents who “let” their kids act up in a grocery store or throw tantrums in a restaurant. I’d look with derision and think “Pfft, my kids will never do that.”

I invite you to insert laughter here.

I get it now. Those parents aren’t ignoring their kids, they’ve actually gone dead inside. There’s a point where the non-stop needing, wanting, asking, begging, yelling, maddening repetitionrepetitionrepetitionrepetition causes the psyche to collapse in on itself like a dying star. It happened to me once, at a birthday party with both kids and no help. I couldn’t do anything but drive erratically and ugly cry the whole way home.

I know now that you can’t control a child’s behaviour any more than you can control the weather. All you can do is control how you respond. At almost four years old, Nate is pretty awesome to hang out with. He would never have learned how to behave in public unless we actually took him outside. These days he rarely acts out, and when does reach critical mass, we leave. Period. I’ve left movies, live theatre, concerts, family functions, play dates, you name it, we’ve bailed on it. Restaurants work if we can keep him seated for longer than 10 minutes, which leads us to…

I will never let my child watch too much TV/play with my iPhone/Tablet/Technology

Oh those poor, disengaged children. It’s so sad to see the breakdown of the family unit. See how that child just gazes at that tiny screen while his parents ignore him and eat hot food while enjoying adult conversation for five whole minutes without interruption or having to placate him with a duffel bag full of toys, books, crayons, crafts and a diorama of The Last Supper featuring characters from Sesame Street and a glow-in-the-dark Big Bird Jesus, all while engaging the restaurant in a rousing rendition of “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” (E-I-E-I-Oh-my-god-kill-me!) Evil technology! It’s not our first go-to, but I keep an arsenal of PJ Masks and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes on my phone at all times.

I will always feed my child healthy food

When Nate was ready to start solids, I bought organic produce and grain-fed poultry. I steamed, chopped, pureed and roasted the healthiest combinations you could imagine. He ate almost none of it, because no one told him that effort = appreciation.

His tastes have ebbed and flowed over the years, loving one food, then hating it in the time it takes me to buy a lot of it. His younger brother has a broader palate, and will gladly try anything you serve him, as long as it’s out of the garbage can after I’ve wiped it off the floor. As long as they’re putting on weight and not suffering from scurvy, I don’t give it a second thought.

I will never bribe my children

Yes you will. Often.

I’m all for parenting to achieve long-term goals, but once in a while, there is nothing wrong with immediate compliance, even if compliance looks like ice cream or a trip to Jungle Land.

My children will never sleep in our bed

Replace “never” with “every night” and you would have our current sleeping arrangement. The first night I brought Nathan home, I put him in the co-sleeper beside the bed. We watched him scream himself purple for two and a half excruciating minutes before I picked him up and announced to my husband that I was never doing that again. Sleep training doesn’t work for us. It is an unholy nightmare and I’m done with it. My boys like sleeping with their mama. How much longer can I say that? How many nights did I lie awake, sobbing into my pillow while they wailed in their cribs? Who wins?

So there you have it. A crash course in how not to be a know-it-all super jerk. A lesson in empathy towards parents, those superheroes charged with caring for tiny, adorable despots. An elegy for a retired Judgey McJudgeyPants who learned never to say “never”.

Hair stylist Erica Wearing dishes on hair style and colour trends for Spring 2016

Posted on April 14, 2016 by ericahwearing Posted in The Best You .

With the flowers blooming and the sunshine finally warming us up we all like to brighten up our looks and freshen up our cuts. If your looking to do so, here are some inspiring cuts and colours for spring/summer 2016 to keep you on trend and looking like a hip mama.

This season is very versatile. There lots are of shades and cuts to choose from: lobs, long layers, choppy bobs, blunt bobs, blunt fringe – whatever it is you love, rock it!

Women’s hair 2016

I’m loving a fresh fringe for the season change. It can shake up your look completely, leaving you feeling youthful and making those eyes pop.

My lovely friend Jen Ly took me to a violet rose shade, and I’m absolutely loving it! Check her out on Instagram byjenly.

Here are some more shades of blonde I love:
Icy cool blonde
Warm rose gold with violet undertones

Beautiful shades of the rainbow. I prefer the softer pastel shades like these – they aren’t as permanent and the fade out is beautiful as well.

A beautiful change to warm up the completion, “Ronze” a mixture of Browns and copper tones

Men’s hair 2016

Tell your man he has to look fresh next to his beautiful lady. Here are some great cuts for your handsome fella.

Toddler hair 2016

We have all seen those poor little kids with the bozo haircut they got from a heartless stylist – or I should say butcher! Some great advice mommies, take them to your own stylist. They will do a fabulous job on your little Muffin’s hair.

Here is a great photo of my handsome lil guy after I cut his hair. He was so good I fed him lots of frozen blueberries and put on a good cartoon to distract him.

Erica H. Wearing has been a stylist for over 16 years and she absolutely loves what she does . “It’s a great feeling to help people feel and look their best when they leave my chair. I wouldn’t trade this for any other job in the world!”
Check out Erica at Ka!Boom Hair Salon 1129 West Pender Street, Vancouver B.C .
(604)681-6003

alissia marciano hairbyericaw

The 200 word milestone

Posted on March 23, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Working in a school makes me more aware of things to watch in my son. We have speech therapists that work for the school board. One day I asked one of the therapists about when (my 16 month old at the time) would stop saying “A-wound and a-wound and a-wound” and start saying around. I know that Rs are tough for kids. My own brother had a few rounds of speech therapy for his Rs.

She confirmed that Rs are in fact a hard letter for kids to pronounce. Then we got chatting about milestones for babies. And then it happened.

She let me know that by the age of 2, that toddlers are supposed to have 200 words.

200! Yes, that final zero is intended.

Up until a few years ago, the milestone was 50 words at the age of 2. So of course in my mad panic to confirm that my child would reach (or better yet surpass) this goal, I sat down with my husband that night and we started the list of words that we knew our son was saying.

And we were at 21. Just 21! YIKES! We both flew into crazy parent mode, and sat down to determine the path that we would take to reach the milestone of 200 words.

We read every day to him. We have all of the fun books that help kids to identify images with simple words. We are the people that get the NIP screenings and meet the milestones month ahead (when possible)….so we are not sure how we are so behind with this word business.

As I write this blog, Tyson is now 18.5 months. Our current word tally exceeds just over 70 words. So we have just over 5 months to learn over 130 words. WHOA! I am told from friends that this is no big deal, and that one day Tyson will be firing out several new words every day. But for now, it does seem stressful. Although achievable, it does seem daunting. However, the fact that it used to be 50, and we’ve already exceeded that word count, I think that we can breath a small sigh of relief. BUT the countdown for 130 words is on.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Krista Holmes, KH Mgmt, became a mother in the summer of 2014. She works behind-the-scenes in the Canadian music industry, designs several social media campaigns and manages special events. Her love for motherhood & music can be found on her blog, mommylovesmusic.wordpress.com.

@KHmgmt

10 Questions with Child Entertainers Sonshine and Broccoli

Posted on January 8, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in 10 Questions With .

Your kids love to be entertained, but you can’t be the feature attraction 24/7. Birthday parties are an exceptionally good time to hire entertainment. Some entertainers are better than others. Some really know what will keep your child entranced – and how long they can hold that attention before that little body can’t contain it any longer. So what to look for in an entertainer? We caught up with professional child entertainers Sonshine and Broccoli to ask the questions you know you want to know.

1. Why are musical shows engaging for children?

I think we all remember our first concert. Mine ( Sonshine ) was the beach boys. Musical shows are extremely engaging for all kids, from the first clap, to the head bop, to the jump. Kids find music a freedom of their own expression.

2. What time of day is best for keeping kids interested in the performance?

I would say first thing in the morning or after nap time.

3. Where do you get the energy to entertain kids on a continual basis?

We could be having the worst day but the second we are on stage rockin’ out to an audience of kids, life is just great. The energy truly comes from them. Kids are excited , intrigued and engaged. We often feed off of their energy.

4. How do you know when you are losing the attention span of a child – are there signs?

Ohhh yes. Big signs.

We can plan a show one way and totally decide to change it part way through depending on the age and types of kids in the audience. Sonshine and Broccoli have been called “The Kid Whispers.” There is nothing better than getting their attention from the very first song. We have found that keeping the show very upbeat and interactive works great for us.

5. Should entertainment be at the beginning, middle or end of a party?

Entertainment should be after the first half an hour of a party. Let your guest come in – leave some time for the stragglers – and within 30 to 40 min of the called time it’s great to bring out the entertainment.

6. What size party works best with entertainment?

It completely depends on the party. For more intimate parties, 20 kids is great. For larger parties or events we bring equipment, plug in and rock out to a huge crowd.

7. Can you customize a show to my child’s age group?

Yes of course. Recently we performed where we were given very little information about a show. The kids happened to be much older than our normal audience. We quickly adjusted our set list and the kids, all the way up to 15, had a blast. We always have tricks up our sleeve.

8. Do you need a large space to have performers at a child’s birthday party?

Not at all. Any performer should be able to accommodate your space. I always say whatever you are comfortable with.

9. What can parents do to make the entertainment part go over well? Should it be hyped on the invite? Part of a theme?

Yes to both. It’s always great to let your guest know who will be performing. It allows the parent and child to go online, check them out on YouTube, get excited about who they will be seeing. I have seen so many fabulous themed parties, from a Far East theme where all the kids were given kimonos to Princess Parties.

10. Why do children love your music?

We have been writing and singing kids’ music for 11 years. When we started writing, the process was so natural: Just put yourself into the mind of a child; the innocence of so many first things , silly things, scary things. We have just released our 3rd album and our music has grown over the years. We are growing with the kids. This new album is a pop rock album and is in the new genre of kindie music. Indie music for kids. We feel that parent and child should really rock out together!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3U0BHzK2Wo&w=420&h=315]

Sonshine & Broccoli, AKA Lisa Sonshine and Brock (Broccoli) Burford, have been entertaining parents and their children for over a decade. They’ve just released their third album “It’s A Beautiful Day.”

Music, always close to the heart and ongoing for Lisa and Brock, is the subject of a documentary, “Learning To Play” currently in post-production. Developed by the multi-talented duo, “Learning to Play” emerged from seven day collaboration with other musical artists. A Juno nominated artist, a film/ TV composer, vocal coach, Sonshine & Broccoli song writing students and others, came together in an all ages storytelling look on the power of music in our lives. The interviews and music from this moving collaboration can be seen on Sonshine & Broccoli’s website. The documentary explores how an early learned love of music can connect people to each other throughout their lives.

Over the past decade, Sonshine & Broccoli have entertained children across the GTA with their high energy interactive shows, sold out performances, In demand Corporate & private events, as well as a Pop Stars songwriting workshop for kids aged 7 to 12 as an after school, PD Day, and camp program. The camp has been recently added to the Toronto Public Library’s Culture Days programming.

Sonshine & Broccoli brings out the song in all of us.

@s_bmusic