Urban Suburban Mommy

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Holiday Gift Guide – Urban Suburban Mommy Style

Posted on by Posted in The Best You, Urban Suburban Mommy .

Everyone needs some shopping inspiration. Gift guide after gift guide explains what to get the children, or the hubby, or the boss, or the teacher.

Well, what about mom? What do we want? You know what we want – we all want the same thing. So don’t read this gift guide for yourself, share this gift guide with the Urban Suburban Daddies, the Urban Suburban Uncles, The Urban Suburban Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Fiancés and Friends.

This is what just about any mom wants for the holidays:

A retreat.

She stays up too late sewing the costumes for class plays the night before. She runs around looking for shirts that don’t itch. She knows where every favourite toy and stuffie is at all times. She needs a break. A weekend with no responsibility. A morning with no alarm clocks. A night with no bedtime fights. A meal with no interruptions. With spouse? With friends? Let her pick.

A clean house.

We all know that housework should be shared. It’s not mom’s domain. But we all know who gets it done. Give her a few weeks off with housekeeping services. Seriously, the cost of making mom happy, giving her back some free time and putting a smile on her face is a fraction of what marriage counselling costs per month. Don’t argue about whose turn it is to vacuum, pay for the privilege and get it done.

Deep relaxation.

Mom’s got a busy life and she puts everyone else first. Everyone is served and eating before she finishes and sits down. She got the lunches made and the kids dressed for school, and threw her hair in a messy bun (thank goodness they’re in style!), forgoing a shower and blow-dry. She totally needs a day at the spa. Go for one of the good ones with water therapies and fancy tea stations, and book her a massage. A deep tissue massage. And DON’T request a female masseuse – unless you think that’s HER preference. Hold it together and let her have an afternoon off. She’s coming home to you all refreshed and relaxed up.

Some free time.

She talks about how much she misses yoga classes. She used to belong to a book club. She’s stopped going to the mall and orders all her clothing online. Face it, she loves her family, but families require endless amounts of mom’s time. Give her the gift of a few reliable hours a week that are hers and hers alone, to regain that favourite activity. Getting the kids to activities, feeding them dinner, doing the bedtime routine – it’s a big job, but you can do it without her a few hours a week!

Wine.

Mom needs wine. A spare bottle of something just a bit nicer than she’d usually buy herself. You know what? Make it 2.

You’re not *just* a mom

Posted on by Posted in The Best You .

Wellness isn’t all yoga and smoothies, vitamins and the newest fad diet. Sure, sleep, eating right, regular doctors visits and keeping hydrated are all extremely beneficial when it comes to wellness, but you know what? Sometimes it needs to be all about us.

This dawned on me as I was sitting at Sick Kids hospital with my son for five hours this morning and then deciding to call it ‘A vacation day’ because I’d already missed more work than I wanted to make up.

My VACATION days are sacrificed for my children. Gladly.

Dinner? I make what THEY want.

Girls weekends in Vegas? Sorry, little bunny has a school play that Friday.

Honestly, when I realized I was sacrificing my purse and shoe addiction collection in order to fund the needs of these children, I knew I’d discovered the selflessness of motherhood.

Plus the staying up with sick kids, trading sleep for snuggles when they have bad dreams, playing board games (or bored games, I need a break from Candyland!), and sitting through hours of Dora, Caillou and Ruby – because, let’s face it, I really never need to hear any of those voices again – tell the tale.

We don’t have to NOT be moms, there’s no stopping that train, but we need to remember that we are also human beings. When was the last time a day was all about you? How about half-a-day? How about three consecutive hours?

It’s time to take a vacation day and use it. It’s time to leave them at daycare and NOT feel guilty on a day off. It’s time to pick a movie we want to see for once, go swimming without having to “watch this!” or spend time with a friend having tea without interruptions every minute, on the minute. It’s time to make a real dinner with adult flavours and real china instead of pandering to the mini masses.

It’s not a rejection of motherhood. I LOVE being a mom. I think that’s why it’s so easy to put myself last and worry more over their needs than mine. There’s no way I can possibly refuse to wake up for a nightmare or a sick child, but there are ways to carve out time for us and not be *just a mom* – and by JUST, I don’t minimize motherhood, not for one second. Motherhood is all-encompassing, I do it because I think it’s the biggest, best and most important job there is. But it’s time to rethink it and not make motherhood the only recognizable part of the people we are.

Next vacation day I’m hitting the spa, drinking champagne and buying myself something pretty.

(Unless my kids really need me!)

 

Blitzing the day away blissed me out

Posted on by Posted in The Best You .

Michelle and I have been talking about 30 days of wellness for some time now. It was all I could do to get through December – early deadlines, family gatherings, holiday parties, children’s winter concerts (three of them!) Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s celebrations – the month flew by before I knew it.

Then January started off with an air of calm, and I knew I’d be able to embrace 30 days of wellness.

Get yourself to the spa!

I mean it. It seems overindulgent, doesn’t it? Carving out many hours without the kids, without the responsibility, without technology. But why not? Why can’t mama be allowed to shut off completely and be indulged for 3 or 4 hours without interruption or distraction?

My bestie and I usually have kids in tow and can’t focus on a conversation for three consecutive minutes, so the spa was the perfect place to hang.

I love this place for the water therapies – Body Blitz Spa

 

I know it’s a luxury to be able to leave the kids and go – whether you’re a SAHM, a working mom, a single mom or a busy type A multitasking machine, but you NEED to make time for yourself, and the spa really is one of my favourite ways to recharge. It’s the quiet. It’s the insulation from the outside world. It’s the fact that they’ll actually kick you out if they see you with technology that keeps me in check.

We hit up Body Blitz Spa in Toronto. I love this place – it’s a peaceful retreat with a circuit of plunge pools, soaking tubs and saunas. Sometimes I commit to the cycle, sometimes I just chill out in whichever space I feel. You can add a massage, a facial, a scrub or other body treatment if you want, but the water therapies are just so soothing I’ve never really thought additional relaxation was needed.

It’s SO relaxing – just what January’s wellness calls for after the feverish pace of December.

Blitzing the day away blissed me out.

Of course, if you can’t make time for an actual spa outing, give yourself an evening of spa indulgence just the same. A hot bath, epsom salts, essential oils, a facial pack, a good body scrub, some flowers, some delicious detoxifying juices and teas and you’ve got yourself a set-up for soothing and relaxation! The important thing is – no kids, no electronics, no distractions.

 

 

 

What mama secretly wants for Mother’s Day

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Mother’s Day. Because one day a year we need to be forced to stop doing all of the looking after and let them dote on us without feeling guilty that we’re not doing all of the work. I love the cards, and kisses, and hand-made crafts and attempts at breakfast in bed.

But along with those lovely keepsakes there may or may not be a significant other that buys a thoughtful gift, plans a brunch, permits a sleep-in, coordinates a house-cleaning or does some other pleasantly surprising thing to help us celebrate Mother’s Day. Urban Suburban Mommy asked contributors what tops their list this Mother’s Day – A want, a need and a dream.

AlissiaFashion & Lifestyle Expert
Alissia Marciano 

A Want: I want to provide my boys with the most adventurous and unique life possible by traveling up and down the coast of California in an airstream.

A Need: I need to have an adventure in nature on a regular basis.  Whether its camping, surfing, hiking or getting lost in the desert or forest it keeps me grounded, happy and inspired.

A Dream: To travel to Morocco, drive to the coast and surf with my partner and then one day with my boys.

erica with clientHair & Beauty Expert
Erica Wearing

A Want: Being on my feet all day long at the salon and on the run with my little guy  can leave my body achey and my feet  tired

What Momma wants is a good foot rub

A Need: What Momma needs is a mani pedi 💅🏻

A Dream: And what my dream would be is to have a day at the spa indulging in a full body massage  and any other treatment that will leave me feeling like I’m floating on a cloud

(Hint hint Daddy)

Now that’s a Mother’s Day 😊😉

alexis-head-shotLifestyle & Mom Experience
Alexis Nicols

A Want: Bradley Cooper cleaning my bathroom while I sip a chocolate-tini.

A Need: Paying someone to clean my house while I sip vodka mixed with a blue Mister Freezie because we ran out of mix. I call my new drink “Anti-Freeze”

A Dream: Honestly, my dream was to become a parent. As far as I’m concerned, every day is Mother’s Day because every day I get to be a mother.

Krista HolmsLifestyle Contributor
Krista Holmes

A Want:  A day to myself! Seems simple, yet likely unachievable now that the busy season of work and fishing tournaments is here. Give me a day at the spa, a good book and a dinner at one of my favourite restaurants with my husband.

A Need: A housekeeper. I would LOVE to not have to clean or cook. Even just for a week or two. This is a close “wish” to my dream (and it’s definitely second in line for a dream – especially if it happened on a regular basis).

A Dream: A holiday. If my husband couldn’t get the time off, I would be more than happy to go on my own! (As he’s been on 3 “holidays” without me, either while pregnant, or since giving birth). The thought of having a couple of days to myself is enough of a reason to dream about a vacation, but ideally not having to cook for anybody, or do any housework makes it that much more of a dream.  Top if off with a delicious tropical bevvy and my dream is complete. (Ok, sunshine and some time at a pool would really help, but who are we kidding – I could easily vacation just about anywhere, anytime as long as I don’t have to cook or clean!)

Urban Mom4844 Elisa KeayCofounder/Editor
Elisa Keay

A Want: A car detailing. The kids make such a mess of my car. I admit, part of it is my fault, I let them bring their breakfast into the car when I’m running late or have a drink or a treat on a long drive, and it ends up mashed into the seat and floor. The leather seats need a treatment. The smell that has developed needs to be banished. The toys and schoolwork needs to be managed… HEY, wait – this shouldn’t count as a Mother’s Day gift or even a want. They OWE me a car cleaning since it’s THEIR mess! (Before kids, my car was always impeccable… is that too much to ask?)

A Need: I need a new bike. I hate my bike plus it has a wonky pedal. The kids are now at the age that we can start riding places as a family. My stupid bike is fine for popping out to the store or to meet friends for a drink, but it’s not comfortable if we’re going to head out for the day.

A Dream: A Porsche. I want a Porsche. A silver Porsche. Then I could drive over to Alexis’ house and help her watch Bradley Cooper do the cleaning.

(Wait. Why am I the only one not interested in alone time and a house cleaning? My house is a mess and I’m never alone – even when I pee. Nope. I want a Porsche.)

And I judge teachers by the crafts they think of for the class to make mom. The cards and gifts that last, that include a picture or a handprint in clay get bonus points. The ones that create big bobble jewelry for me to wear for the day also get points. The ones that make things too delicate for a 5 year old to manage getting home so that the day starts with tears and a hot glue gun, however, are the ones that inspire me to feed said 5 year a cappuccino and two bowls of high-sugar cereal before sending them off to school for the rest of the school year.

michelle for mothers day postCofounder/Editor
Michelle Daides

A Want: I want 8 hours of uninterrupted blissful sleep. I may have to file this one under my dream category considering my current situation with my two little monkeys! But all I really want is a night (maybe at a hotel alone with a cozy down comforter) where I can drift off to sleep and actually dream.

A Need: I need Octopus arms so I can juggle the many tasks I tackle everyday as a working mom. Way too many!

A Dream: An extended vacation in a very exotic place like Fiji or Greece. A place where I could sleep for 8 hours uninterrupted. Use only 2 hands to practice yoga. Eat healthy food cooked by someone else. Breathe in the salty ocean air. Walk down the beach before sunset barefoot with the sand tickling my toes…my children and husband greet me with a big hug and kiss. Not sure I want to wake up from this one…

 

 

Day dates

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

Urban Daddy and I have a thing – we do day dates.

winter walk

I’m a 9-to-5er, while he’s got odd and ever-changing hours because he works in the film industry. We don’t get a lot of evenings together, and when we do, they’re focussed around the kids.

But while they’re in school, and we’re paying for daycare anyways – it’s the perfect time for a date!

Whether it’s just a quick lunch or an afternoon off of work, we do day dates to perfection. He’s actually a very romantic and creative sort of guy, so there’s often something unexpected.

Remember how fun playing hookie was – when you used to skip class and hit the mall – day dates are that kind of fun; ditching the afternoon and just hanging out. It’s nice just to hang.

day dateI think as parents, we forget that we need to be a couple because we’re so focussed on being someone’s mom and dad. But the relationship needs to be nurtured just the same, and day dates are our way!

If you need some inspiration for a day date, here’s some of our favourites:

The pool. Most public pools have adult swim, we pick one with a whirlpool and sauna – and an outdoor one in the summer.

The beach. Grab a big blanket and board games.

Lunch. Either a quick meet-up at the restaurant downstairs from my office, or a picnic basket and big blanket at the park down the street. Short and sweet!

The spa. A couples massage and some tea while wandering around in a robe and taking a steam. It’s relaxing and indulgent.

Shopping. Costco is really, really fun when it’s not completely packed with weekenders and kids that would rather be anywhere else. IKEA too. Even grocery shopping can make for a great day date.

The pound. We got our second cat, the little white fluffy snowshoe my son lovingly named Captain Coconut, on a day date three years ago on my hubby’s birthday. Two weeks ago we narrowly escaped adopting a dog – a half shepherd/half husky girl named Mika. I think one more pound date and we’ll have a new family member.

A movie. Sometimes there’s something really worth seeing on the big screen. Although I hate paying a sitter so I can sit in the dark and not talk to my husband, afternoon movies are a whole different thing. It’s most definitely hiding away and playing hookie!

Errands. Sometimes there’s a lot of running around to do. It’s better in twos – especially because parking downtown is both expensive and annoying, and with a partner in crime, you have someone to stay with the car while you run in, and someone to sing with when a good one comes on the radio.

Wandering. The park. The neighbourhood. The area around my office. It’s not where you go, it’s who you’re with.

Home. The place all to ourselves. ‘Nuff said.