Urban Suburban Mommy

Tag Archives: pregnant

Yes I’m pregnant, NOT fat – here are 4 things that bug me the most

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I’ve been away from blogging for a few months. Mostly due to being busy and just not having the energy while pregnant. We’re expecting our 2nd child in late March. I’ve been rocking the diclectin like it’s candy. UGH.

There are several things that really bug me while pregnant, but these few sure take the icing on the cake:

  • Touching my belly (without asking)

Not sure why, but maybe because I am not a big hugger. Or because it just feels wrong; like you’re invading my personal space or something. I have only had 2 belly touchers this pregnancy (other than my husband, son and Dr.), and one of them was a good friend (who asked) and the other an almost stranger! Sure, we live in a small town, and the lady (whose name I don’t even know) has served me at the restaurant once or twice before, but she thought that she was worthy of a belly touch. Umm no!  I let it happen, but I am sure that my face said it all. What. Are. You. DOING?!

  • Commenting on my size

I don’t find the comments much different than last pregnancy, but I do think that many comments just shouldn’t come out of people’s mouths! Whether you’ve experienced pregnancy or not, it should be noted that most pregnant women are likely already dealing with more emotions/over-thinking than they’d like, so, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Some of my recent favourites include: “Oh wow, you’ve really gained weight since the last time I saw you”, (and strangely on the same day), “You’re 27 weeks – you don’t even look pregnant – you better eat more!”

Whether you think I am not big enough, gaining weight quickly, or just want to remind me that I am eating for 2, just keep it to yourself.  By the way, it’s not any better when you point out where I’ve gained weight…..you’ve gained it in your face, or your butt, whatever! Just STOP!

  • Puking kids

I work in a large elementary school. It’s like working in a petri dish of germs. I know sometimes you don’t know that your kid is going to be sick (to their stomach), but for those parents that send their kids to school after they puked that morning, I want to yell at you! As well, sending students down to the office (they sit in my eye sight 95% of the time) to wait for their parents, and giving them a bucket/garbage can to puke in is not ok. The sound of someone vomiting makes me vomit, as does the smell. And this Mom has done enough puking with this pregnancy.

  • The stupid glucose test

Didn’t enjoy it last time, and definitely didn’t enjoy it this time. Over the holidays, I headed over to our local Dynacare to do the glucose test. I was so stoked to have one hour to sit and just read a book (I promised myself I wouldn’t go on social media…that would’ve been do-able, if the following hadn’t of happened). I presented my paperwork, and the lab tech said, “I will go and grab it…but it’s room temperature as our fridge broke over the holidays”. Well LUCKY me! I debated over heading home and trying another day, but it is not too often that I have it easy for someone watching Tyson (Ian was on holidays). I couldn’t imagine bringing him and having him sit in the small room and just wait for an hour after chugging that nasty drink. So, after giving myself a quick pep-talk, I uncapped the bottle and tried a gulp.

SO NASTY.

Worse at room temperature.

I tried to suck back what I could. And then at 4 minutes and 30 seconds, the lab tech reminded me that I only had 30 seconds left to drink and I wanted to cry. Both this time, and last time, she reminded me not to chug it, because if I puked (like I’m not already trying to avoid that), I would have to come back another day. So, I said that I would do my best, and keep trying to drink it. In just under 10 minutes I was done drinking it. Then she chimed in that my results might be affected (negatively) since I didn’t drink it within the time limit.

WHAT?!

Needless to say, I did remain there for the next 60 minutes and got my blood taken. I should note at my recent doctor’s visit – just hit the 30 week mark – that my results were in, and I was well under the range for the possibility of gestational diabetes.

And finally, people being absolutely baffled that my husband and I have chosen not to find out the sex of our baby. It’s not that I don’t understand why many want to know, but more so, why the H-E-double-hockey-sticks, it matters to you that we’re not finding out.

I am not a prepare-the-nursery kind of gal. Nor the themed nursery.

Or the person who feels less prepared because I don’t know what colour of baby clothes to purchase (on a side note – it is becoming harder and harder to find gender neutral clothing).  I am definitely not one for surprises, but there is something exciting about a surprise like this. As long as our baby is healthy, I am happy.

I know that it sure helped get through labor last time!

I’ll leave my pregnancy rant on a positive note – here’s a fun pic that our ultrasound technician captured at our 20 week ultrasound!

An open letter to anyone who tried to give me advice when I was pregnant

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Dear Everyone Who Tried To Give Me Advice When I Was Pregnant,

There were so many of you giving me advice when I was pregnant for the first time. It was impossible to know what to listen to. Some of it scared me. Some of it seemed like good advice. Some of it confused me because I just couldn’t understand what the situation would be. And at the same time, the more I’d hear, the more I’d start to think “That won’t be me.”

As if I’m better than that.

But now that I’ve gone through it – twice – and lived to tell the tale, I have to say that most of the advice totally missed the mark. So thank you for trying to warn me, advise me and prepare me, but here’s where it all went wrong:

1. Thanks for telling me to sleep when they sleep – and to get as much sleep as possible while I was pregnant.

But why didn’t you suggest I soak it all in with pregnancy number one, because nobody would be indulging me ever again once the baby was born. 

2. I love that you told me “Breast is Best” and that I should really breastfeed because ‘choosing’ not to breastfeed is selfish.

But why didn’t you warn me how HARD breastfeeding is, how I should read up on the difficulties, on how to improve milk production or control over-production and be prepared to speak to a lactation consultant, not be hard on myself if I couldn’t do it.

And mastitis… You couldn’t have warned me about mastitis and blocked ducts???

3. Your stories about labour? They freaked me out! Telling me not to worry because it was all worth it? Not helpful. And you – the one who described her labour as “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” – you know who you are.

But why didn’t you reassure me that it doesn’t have to be that way. I found pre-natal yoga. I had a teacher who gave hypno-birthng tips. I have an amazing husband who kept me laughing through labour. And I had an epidural when I needed it. 

4. We talked a lot about pregnancy. I read a lot about pregnancy. I’m a pro at being pregnant.

But pregnancy is fleeting – when the muppet came, I no longer had time (or the mental capacity) to read much. You could have told me that I should probably read up to prepare for the first 6 months. And poop – you should have given me a book on poop and what poop colour/shape/size/frequency means. I spent too much time trying to figure out the poop.

5. You asked me if I’d babywear, co-sleep, circumsise, do baby-led weaning, breastfeed, cloth diaper and more. We hit all the hot-button topics and you gave me your take.

But why didn’t you tell me to thicken my skin, pick what’s best for my baby, have confidence in my decision and not worry about the other mothers judging me? The lactivists, intactivists and the sanctimommies I’d inevitably come across? I was NOT prepared for that kind of confrontation. 

A few other gripes – why didn’t you ever warn me about:

  • All the mucous that would flow like a river
  • The huge diaper pads that I’d be wearing after delivery. And those mesh panties!
  • The pain my breasts would experience as they changed to prep for milk production
  • The postpartum crazies – I was a complete wreck that first week, of course I was! all of my hormones were in rollercoaster mode as they switched to being non-pregnancy hormones
  • The back pain
  • The belly button itch and the line
  • The mucous – I really can’t stress that one enough. I never knew a body could do that!
  • The membrane sweep – wow that hurt!
  • The pregnancy mask – why does skin do that?

And what have I missed?

First-time mommies will always need some advice, and I have only one piece of advice I ever share: Don’t take advice from anyone. Ask your doula/doctor/midwife if you want to know something, be prepared to tell people you don’t want their advice, and trust in your instincts. You’ll be fine.