Urban Suburban Mommy

Tag Archives: drive

Not giving up the sports car

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

When my husband and I first started getting serious and realized our lives were becoming intertwined, that we were working on a future, we had “The Talk.” We each had three deal-breakers that we made clear the other was never to push back about. One of my three deal-breakers was that I would never drive a minivan and would always have a sports car.

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly a sports car, but my VW Jetta 1.8T GLS is the nicest car I’ve ever owned. It’s the first car I ever specifically picked, went out an bought, instead of just finding something I could afford and thought might not die on me too quickly. Heated leather seats, sunroof, kickin’ stereo with steering wheel volume and channel control – and turbo! It’s fast. Plus it’s easy to park – and parking is at a premium in the city, I can parallel park in the smallest of spots with this car.

I’m not bragging here, my car is a 2003. I’ve maintained it well and I just love it.

For all of the Baby Mum Mums the boys ground into the interior, the indelible impressions that the car seats have made in the leather, for the cupholder, which I’ve now got to replace a second time, because each of my children decided to tear the arms off of because they wanted to see how far they could flex. I still love this car.

Of course, I’m glad I had enough foresight to buy a four-door, because I couldn’t have handled a coupe with two car seats, but I can’t bring myself to replace this car. It’s my car from before kids. It’s fast and fun and fully loaded.

I also can’t bear the idea of unleashing my boys on a new car. I’ve moved past my shame of living out of my car some weeks, with not-quite-empty lunch bags, drink boxes, school work, bathing suits and an odd assortment of toys and wrappers scattered like mementoes of weeks gone by.

But my husband – he agreed to my sports car deal, he was happy to be the one to get the minivan.

He doesn’t see it as a loss of his before-child freedom, and he doesn’t see it as an admission that he’s been domesticated. He loves his minivan. He sees it as the best automotive choice anyone can make – it stores all of his gear, lets him cart around big numbers of people, and he can stretch out and have a nap. His only dissatisfaction is that he didn’t go for a model with stow-and-go seats.

The truth is, I do appreciate the minivan – for its functionality, of course. It is great at a drive-in movie. It’s perfect when each kid wants a friend over, or when we’re going out in big groups. It’s a dream for packing up and going camping and it comes in handy when I want to buy something oversized – hello IKEA!

But I’m still not giving up my sports car.

What’s your outlet

Posted on by Posted in The Best You .
your outlet

If you want to survive parenting, then you definitely need an outlet or escape plan from time to time.  Otherwise – I promise you – you will either burn out, have a nervous breakdown or get divorced (if you’re married or are still married).  Yes, I am being extremely blunt. But it is the truth.  When your offspring contribute to your sleep deprivation or max out your patience, how do you handle diffusing your internal bomb before it goes off? 

Yes, you need your outlet. Everyone must have one – or find one in a hurry.  Everyone is different; some people need exercise others turn to chocolate (OK – ignore that suggestion). Anyway, you know what I mean.  Here are some of my suggested outlets or releases in order to survive parenthood: 

1. Yoga (or any physical exercise)

Honestly, pre-natal yoga lead me through a healthy pregnancy and delivery with my second.  I actually swear by it.  I felt mentally and physically strong and in shape.  You can do yoga anytime and anywhere – on your own or in a class.  Yoga is all about practice so do it often even if it is only for 10 minutes right before bed.  A good stretch and a sun salutation will keep you relaxed.

2. Take A Drive

Get into your car and drive… Just drive. 

Focus on the road of course, but let yourself go by also enjoying the peace and quiet, and perhaps scenery around you. You do this on your own without the kids or else this won’t work.

3. Nap

Close your eyes for 15 minutes during the day.  If you have the luxury of working from home or being on mat/pat leave, you can – and must – schedule 15 minutes of snooze time a day. 

I really try and follow my own advice on this one.  If you don’t have the luxury of being at home and at work at the same time, be creative.  My husband is – he naps on the train to and from work. Sometimes he even rides the subway on his lunch hour with no set destination but just to take a nap!  Make sure you have an iPod and ear buds for this one to be effective.

 4. Treat Yourself

Take yourself out for a tea or a mani/pedi – give yourself at least an hour of alone/me time if you are able.  You need to do this – don’t feel guilty about it either.

 So what’s your outlet?  I try to employ all or some of my suggestions every day – right now I am going to focus on #3 because I’ll be up at 4:30am and that will be the extent of my nap!