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Category Archives: Urban Suburban Mommy

Is it your first?

Posted on February 12, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Every age and stage comes with ‘the questions’ that everyone asks. You’re a teen, people want to know what you’re going to do with your life. In your 20s they want to know when you’re going to get married. You’re married, they start asking when you’re going to have babies. You have one, they ask when number 2 is coming. You start a family in your late 30s and they want to know if this is your second husband… Or third, or fourth. Or better yet, if it’s a good idea – do you know how old you are?

should i have a baby at

The questions are exhausting – though I’m sure we’ve all asked one at one point or another. After all the questions we’ve fielded over our lifetimes, it doesn’t get easier and it doesn’t get less abrasive. People are only curious, and people don’t mean to be rude, but until they’ve lived through being asked those question, they don’t realize how crass it is to ask questions out of idle curiosity. When did it become appropriate to openly pry?

(I mutters *a-hole* under her breath every time!)

Unfortunately, it seems the questions start to increase in number and intimacy as we get to this age. It’s like 40 brings the “question climax” – these are the final ones, will they break us? Will we stop politely answering and lash out? Do we even need to answer?

No, we don’t. We are never obligated to answer. And yes, they may make us snap. Some of these questions are not only personal, they’re painful.

Being a 40-something mother, we don’t have to tell people whether it’s our first marriage, second or third, why we’re having a baby or how long we’ve been trying. People always seem to assume that a baby at that ‘late maternal age’ means it’s a last chance, last-ditch effort to become the appropriate statistic. There are more losses, it’s harder to conceive and pregnancies may be riskier. The “What are you guys waiting for?” (mutters *asshole* under her breath) may be the most painful of all. They don’t know about suffering the silent losses, the sadness of peeing on a stick and not expecting two lines. They don’t know the stress of genetic counselling and wanting to wait for the genetic testing before getting excited because the numbers from the blood work didn’t look good.

Oh, and if you DON’T have a baby by 40, it’s the worst.

“You’re missing out.” (*a-hole*)

“You poor thing, you never found Mr. Right.” (*a-hole*)

“You must be having problems conceiving.” (definitely muttering *a-hole*)

Well-intentioned people throw you at their single male acquaintances to help you couple up, because of course, that’s your whole life’s goal.

But if you do choose to be a 40-something mommy, they want to know the details. You’ll hear old wives’ tales and horror stories – and everyone knows that the dangers of trisomies and miscarriage goes up at ‘late maternal age’ so you’re already taking some risks that you don’t really need to be reminded about.

Like we need to be reminded. (*a-hole*)

All we want is a family. We planned it this way. We wanted to travel, sew wild oats, build a career. We wanted to wait until we were ready to stop focussing on ourselves and have the ability to settle down and focus on a child. Why is it so hard to believe that we could plan – to want – to spend our years being parents, not grandparents.

If one more person reminds me that I’ll be almost 60 when my kids finish high school they should be prepared for my death glare.

(*a-hole*)

I’ve perfected it.

They don’t appreciate the other side of this. I’m content. I’ve had my life and loads of experiences and I’m more well-rounded. I’m more settled and ready to focus on my child’s life, I’ve had my fun and I’m ready for this. I’m established. I’ve built my career, my home, my social network and my bank account. I’m no longer bewildered by all of the responsibility and have passed the point of worrying what others think, making it easy to make the right decision for my family, not just the prevailing, popular one.

So welcome, 40 is the new baby.

Tags: 40 is the new baby, 40-something, featuredxx, grandparents, late maternal age, mommyhood, parenting, women .

What you need to know about Super Bowl according to Urban Suburban Daddy

Posted on February 5, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Daddy .

Okay, I really don’t get football. I have tried many times to understand it. I love watching soccer, basketball and even baseball. I can even rhyme off the majority of teams and players but football – I just can’t get my head around it. In fact, I find it boring. Men in tights…meh. I can leave it. I wanted to get to the bottom of the importance of Super Bowl for Urban Suburban Daddies, so I sat down with my guy at home to get the down-low!

(Urban Mommy Elisa adds: Boring? Noooooo. I can ref the game better than most officials. I think it’s one of the things that shocked and impressed my husband the first season we were together. I’d call the craziest fouls and they’d review the plays and side with me. I grew up watching football with my dad, and though I’m not a die-hard, I do understand the rules and enjoy a good game. Plus, big muscley men in tight pants – pants, not tights – sign me up! I joke that I can call the winner based on which team has the better butts! (And I’m usually right!) It’s no wonder that my loving hubby is built like  a linebacker. Just saying…)

Back to Suburban Mommy Michelle:

Apparently this year mark’s a major milestone – it’s 50 years of Super Bowl. The Denver Broncos take on The Carolina Panthers.

Peyton - bronco - superbowl

Peyton Manning Denver Broncos Quarterback

The Hardware

The first thing I learned is “Go Big or Go Home.”  According to Urban Suburban Daddy, you must watch the game on a 65-inch TV or larger.  Samsung preferred.

The Exclusive Club

The second thing I learned and most important rule is that no girls are allowed.

Place your bets

Besides watching the game with your closest buds, Superbowl is about feasting on wings, pizza, nachos, drinking beer – Corona – and gambling on just about anything.

“It wouldn’t be Super Bowl without betting”, explains my Urban Suburban Daddy. So what does that mean?  My husband and his crew places wagers on some pretty crazy things.

Like…

Who will win the coin toss?  Which team will have the first interception?  Which car maker will air the first commercial?  Which beer commercial will appear first?  How long will the national anthem run?  Last year’s question involved whether or not Katy Perry would show off her cleavage during the half time show? (Apparently she did – yup, all about the ratings).

katy perry inset superbowl

Katy Perry takes the stage (cleavage and all) at the 2015 Super Bowl half-time show

 

The guys even bet on pizzas. They order pizza from 3 or 4 different companies and then wager which will be delivered first.

Favourite Player

According to my hubby, quarterback Peyton Manning is who he is rooting for.

Halftime Show

This year’s show features Beyoncé, Coldplay and Bruno Mars (rumoured).  Hubby’s vote goes to Bruno Mars (agreed).

Super Bowl Commercials

This was my favourite question – are the commercials worth watching?  Well they’d better be. Advertisers pay millions to air their spots. Suburban Daddy says absolutely.  Favourite commercial of all time: The Budweiser Wazzuuppp ad.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJmqCKtJnxM&w=420&h=315]

So I am now no further ahead in understanding the love of football.

Urban Mommy Elisa adds:

Super Bowl is a bit different with my Urban Suburban Daddy. It’s about the gang getting together, cooking up the crazy foods, watching the game with whomever has the biggest TV and savouring the last and best football game of the season. It’s the love of the game (and the food). There’s beer. There may even be a bit of betting (and Vegas gives numbers on just about anything as Michelle says) but girls are allowed, and encouraged. We love the game, the commercials and the half-time show is always a must-see.

I still haven’t lived down the year I was pregnant and they caught me bawling about poor Hank the Clydesdale not making the cut in the 2008 Budweiser Super Bowl commercial.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLtjVuXOBQk&w=420&h=315]

My husband actually went to the Super Bowl once, it’s on his life’s highlight reel. He’s nurturing our boys’ love of the game, and looks forward to the day they join the party.

If only I could find a babysitter for Sunday.

Tags: Beyonce, Bruno Mars, Carolina Panthers, Coldplay, Denver Broncos, featuredxx, Football, Super Bowl .

Momtuition

Posted on January 20, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .
baby mommy momtuition

Do you ever have that little nag? That little voice, that little feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you feel certain of something – you just can’t explain it?

Momtuition.

The problems that start brewing can be anything from social issues to health matters, but you have that gut instinct to know what to do.

Momtuition.

This is not to be confused with panic, freakout and hypochondria-by-proxy. You’ve got to really dig deep and know the difference between Momtuition and neurotic mommying. When the chips are down, you’ll know. You won’t know how you’ll know, but you’ll know.

baby mommy momtuition

When my second son was 15 days old I was a sleep-deprived, zombified mother of 2 under 2. He didn’t wake up for his 2am feeding. I celebrated the milestone with a few extra hours of dreaming. But when he didn’t wake up at his 6am feeding I started to wonder. Sleepy newborn, sleep-deprived mommy, active 22-month-old, why was I concerned that my babe was sleeping? Lots of infants start sleeping through the night.

I latched him on, but he was pretty tired and didn’t feed well. My Momtuition was screaming, but I kept second-guessing myself, feeling stupid for ‘being neurotic.’

Finally, after about half an hour of inner conflict, I decided to embrace my inner neurotic. I called the health nurse and started the conversation with, “I know I’m probably a neurotic new mother, but something doesn’t feel right…”

My baby was deathly ill and the only symptom had been him sleeping through a meal. Within 4 minutes of my phone call we were in an ambulance. Within 10 minutes of that call he was in the emergency room having a lumbar puncture.

We spent 2 weeks at the hospital – Sick Kids Hospital – me willing him to live and the doctors not giving me a huge lot of hope.

Momtuition also convinced me he’d be alright despite the doctors’ great concerns.

He’s now a happy and healthy 5 year old rough and tumble boy, but it was a rocky road. They said if I had waited a few more hours things would likely have gone a lot differently.

One thing saved him.

Listen to the Momtuition.

Tags: ambulance, deathly ill, doctors, featuredxx, hospital, lumbar puncture, Momtuition, newborn, sick baby .

At 44, feeling fertile is a state of mind

Posted on January 18, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .
IUD repeat repeat

IUD repeat repeatSo you’re a 40-something mommy like me. And you’re done having babies, like me. What do you do to shut down the factory?

It’s not like before where you need to think about the future – you can do something more permanent if you want – tie those tubes, get that Essure, have him clipped. It’s not like we’re 25 and might want to change our minds and have another child in 5 or 10 years. We’re 40-something and we’re done. Sure, there are technically a few more years for us, and I don’t want to be agist, but seriously, there aren’t too many of us that want to go the route of being pregnant and closing in on 50 – never mind that that it’s practically impossible for most women to do it (though not impossible for some).

According to Web MD, perimenopause starts at 47, and the average woman starts menopause at 51. Yes, it it possible to get pregnant through perimenopause, and right through to the time you stop having periods, but it’s not likely.

IUD in handWhen I was 6 weeks post partum I had my IUD put in. I decided to go the route of no hormones and opted for the copper Nova-T IUD. I’m completely happy about my decision – except for the fact that it starts losing its effectiveness at 5 years. When my doctor put it in (and she’s a mom and the same age as I am), she was pretty nonchalant about the fact that I could probably keep this one because at 44 I would start to lose the ability to get pregnant, and even if I did, it wouldn’t stick.

It’s an interesting distinction. It’s not black and white. Fertility is highest up to your late 20s. Then into your early 30s, while not at its peak, fertility is still pretty good. Web MD pegs the decline starting at 35, which is the whole ‘late maternal age thing’ I heard a lot during my pregnancies. Fertility declines, and it declines hard. Eggs are getting older, the chances of chromosomal issues increases, the fertility factor decreases. You may feel that you’re in your sexual prime, but your ovaries are shouting out last call.Dr. David Adamson, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine explains on Web MD that, at 39, your chances of conceiving are half of what they were are 31. Over the next 3 years it declines by half again. 41 is where things really dive – about 10 years before menopause hits is when fertility ends. Some women have fertility longer, some much shorter. But you don’t know until you try.

It’s just so ironic. You spend so many years preventing, and then when you’re finally ready, BOOM. You find out it’s not so easy after all.

Now, my son turned 5 last year. I am in that grey area. Do I *need* birth control? It wasn’t that easy to get pregnant at 36, how likely is it that I can get pregnant at 44, especially with a semi-effective IUD?

Birth control at 44 is different than at 22 , or even at 32. We had our babies just before the cut-off, didn’t we? Birth control is, of course, still a consideration, but not *as* important. Though plenty of us are throwing the tubal in with our last birth, and doing something because, we don’t want to take a chance and well, we are just so used to it. At 39, I realistically felt that I should still use birth control, but I didn’t want to do anything permanent. I wanted to keep the lines of conversation open, just in case.

other uses for an iudThe IUD was it. I just couldn’t see any other form of birth control. My husband had made it clear he was never getting the big V. (It was actually one of his three dealbreakers when we got serious about our relationship and had ‘the talk’ so I knew that was out.) I’d used the patch, briefly, and wasn’t a huge fan of it – or hormones in general. We’d done sponges for the brief period after I’d decided I was never using hormones again. I could get a diaphragm, he could use condoms – what other forms of birth control are out there? NFP was out of the question. Charting and tracking are not my strong suit.

I think coming to the other side of childbearing is just something that messes with you – and birth control is the icing on the crazy cake. Do you or don’t you? At 44, feeling fertile is just a state of mind.

Tags: agist, birth control, contraceptive, featuredxx, IUD, late maternal age, menopause, motherhood, older, perimenopause, pregnancy .

What would you do with your billion?

Posted on January 13, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Oh to dream but honestly what would you do with a billion dollars?  According to the Powerball web site, the jackpot for tonight is 1.5 billion dollars with a cash value of $930 million.  Not too shabby. The chances of winning are 1 in 292 million which means you have a better chance of being hit by lightning.  Why not tempt fate…seriously, imagine a billion.  You would be swimming with the big boys like Mark Cuban or Laurie Grenier.

lottery-balls-cash

For me, I would find it a bit excessive to win that kind of cash and I know that long lost relatives would suddenly emerge with sob stories about why they deserve a million or three.

So here is what I would do:

I would immediately head to the airport with my closest family and friends that are family.  I would charter a plane and head to a remote island like Necker Island.  Yes Richard Branson’s Necker Island because I could.  Maybe I would even buy Necker Island if Branson was selling. I would spend at least a month there so that all the media attention would die down.

Upon my return, I would pay off my mortgage and any debts, sock away a healthy university fund for my kids and I would do the same for our retirement (my husband and I).  But wait I second, I just won a billion – I am retired.  I would do the same for family and closest of friends – that’s a given.

I would hire the best investment planner and tax planner in the world.  Maybe I would buy part of the Stock Exchange because I could.

Next, I would set aside a large amount aside for philanthropy.  I would invest in research and hospitals as a priority.

I would definitely hire a full time sleep consultant or hypnotist to make my kids sleep and I wouldn’t care how much it cost. Maybe I would bathe in wads of cash but wait a second, money is one of the dirtiest things.

See honestly, it’s just too much. Like Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker (aka Spiderman) “with Power comes great responsibility”.  Now how responsible are you? And what would you do?

Tags: featuredxx, Laurie Grenier, lottery, Mark Cuban, Powerball, Richard Branson .

Chef Mike Ward dishes about food and parenting

Posted on January 5, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Fame & Fam, Urban Suburban Daddy .
chef mike ward

We had the pleasure of sitting down with Chef and Kin Community host Mike Ward about cooking and parenting.  Mike is a daddy to 2 beautiful girls. We asked the 10 questions that you know you want to ask a chef about cooking for the kids. Find out about developing their palates without driving yourself crazy, and check out his awesome video below – who doesn’t love mash potatoes!

1. What’s more difficult being a chef or a parent?

Can I choose both? I think whether you’re a professionally trained cook or not, making meals for kids is really one of the hardest things about parenting. Being a chef you certainly get to choose the level with which you challenge yourself, that’s an option you don’t have as a parent.

So, the serious answer would have to be parenting.

chef mike ward

 

2. What type of chef would you describe yourself as? What type of cooking do you prefer?

I would certainly describe myself as having a sense of humour towards cooking and food. We’re making food here, if I screw something up nobody gets killed. I think you can tell when a chef is taking them self too seriously in the food they make. I want to eat food that makes me smile, not serious dishes that are designed to technically impress and leave me in awe of those that prepared them.

3. At what age do you think you can start teaching the kiddos how to cook?

I think you can teach kids about flavour combinations from the moment they can communicate. They may not have the ability to handle sharp knives or hot pans, but most of cooking is understanding and exploring flavour combinations. It doesn’t require technical prowess to make a great sandwich or salad, but there’s still much learning that can be had with such simple dishes.

4. Why do you love cooking with your children?

Most of all, they’ll typically try what they make so that’s always a good thing! It’s also enjoying the sense of achievement and enthusiasm they have when they create something. Obviously, it’s not just applicable to cooking, but cooking is something that I enjoy so it’s lovely to be able to share that with them.

5. What are your thoughts on parents who spend time packing lunches that are bento-style – cutting sandwiches with cooking cutters to get rid of the crusts for example?

I have nothing but admiration because I don’t have the patience for that.

6. How do you convert kids who are picky eaters?

I don’t believe in so much converting kids, more approaching it as a process of expansion and learning. I know hundreds of adults that will openly express their dislike for foods they’ve never tasted. When my kids were very young, they both had a terrible fear of bugs, any small bug. What I would do is create little stories around these bugs, give them a name, tell them about their family, their kids. All of a suddenly they didn’t see them as bugs, they were lovely interesting little characters. Charlotte’s Web had millions of kids falling in love with spiders – I try to do the same with food. I’ll talk about how it’s grown, its flavour, its texture. If I can remove their established expectations then at least they might try it.

7. What is your favourite dish to make for your kids?

I don’t really have a favourite. The moment I can get them to like a particular flavour or texture I’ll immediately shift it slightly try to expand their palate even more. Right now we’re having fun with salty things, I’ve got them enjoying all olives and capers. I ultimately want them to think of food as one of life’s greatest joys. It’s not about consumption for energy, it’s about exploring and celebrating.

8. What are staples/must-have ingredients that every family should have in their home?

I am often asked that question and I’ve come to the conclusion that my list changes. Obviously things like onions, garlic and spices are often used. Right now sweet potato is often on my list: perfect roasted, great for soups, even used the next day in salads. I’m also a fan of flavourful greens, arugula, watercress. And eggs.

9. How do you help children develop a diverse palate?

The truth is that some kids are just immensely fussy and there’s nothing parents can do to change it. I do believe that kids can expand their palates with exposure to different flavours and textures but they’re also ultimately little human beings with their own likes and dislikes. I do believe in giving them a range with which to choose what they want to eat, we have that as adults, they should be allowed to have that as kids.

10. What advice can you give to moms or dads who are intimated by the kitchen and rely mostly on take-out food or uber-simple dishes?

Cooking is like anything else, if you start out of the gate with lofty expectations you will fail and be disheartened. Not unlike kids, if you try cooking simple dishes within your reach, that will give you confidence to push your boundaries slightly. Before you know it I guarantee what was once a chore can become a loved pastime. Also I love encouraging people to cook for others. Even after all these years nothing brings me more joy than feeding friends and family a satisfying meal.

mike ward instagramChef Mike Ward began his cooking career at the bright-eyed age of 17 in Sydney, Australia. Mike never believed he would one-day prepare meals for such clientele as Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, and Nicole Kidman. He has cooked in some of Sydney’s and Toronto’s most acclaimed restaurants: Zigolini’s and The Basement in Australia; Prego Della Piazza and Shark City in Toronto, and has owned and operated several catering companies. Throughout his career Mike has also shared his passion and experience through group and private cooking lessons allowing keen home cooks to develop their skills.

In 2000 Mike produced and directed an award-winning cooking/travel/lifestyle television series that have been viewed in over 40 countries. His great love of creating food content has taken him all over the world, writing, photographing and curating recipes and food related stories for highly respected print, online and television outlets. He serves as a consult to Centennial Colleges’ culinary department, and is also involved in many charities including Dancing with Parkinson’s.

twitter@MikeWardTO

instagram

@mikedaniel21

Tags: Chef Mike Ward, Cooking, featuredxx, food, nom, parenting, recipe .

I did it my way

Posted on January 4, 2016 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Mommy, are you and daddy married?

Whether you’re married or not, this question will eventually come up. We were not. They’d caught on.

jump for joyThe big white dress had never been my goal, but apparently the kids were really bothered by the fact that they had a different last name than me. My husband and I were 3 months shy of our 11th anniversary when our 5 and 7 year old started asking why we weren’t married. The 7 year old loved the idea of being a ring bearer. The 5 year old thought he was going to be a “ring bear” and growled.

How could I resist a ring bear.

We’d been engaged since 2007, and having a little summer wedding sounded like a fun idea, so we told the boys that yes, we would get married.

I didn’t wear white. There were no flower arrangements. There was no surf-and-turf dinner.

I did it my way.

My husband and I threw a party – and what a party it was. We avoided seating plans and cake tastings and stress. Never having been one to worry about convention, having the wedding you want – without having to worry about chair covers, boutineers and bouquets – is quite fun. Having your kids at your wedding is simply the best part.

Our kids.

glitterbomb angelsThe flower girl didn’t have flowers, she had sequins and sparkles that she tossed into the air – exuberantly – ahead of my walk down the aisle. During the ceremony our kids made glitter-bomb angels. When we sealed the deal with “I do” one jumped into the air with a cheer – and the photographer caught it all.

So while I can honestly say I’d never intended to walk down the aisle, and we couldn’t have been more committed – with or without the official recognition – our kids gave us a special family memory, one that really was just about our family – our love and us.

Tags: children, DIY, engagement, Event, marriage, Party, sequins, wedding, white dress .

Champagne goes good with what…

Posted on December 31, 2015 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

So 2015 was a great year and we are truly blessed!  It’s time to ring in 2016 and we thought we would have some fun with our last post of the year. We are reaching out to you to join us in this exercise – please comment and share. Use the hashtag #NYEUSM.

We are going to throw out some words relating to new year’s celebrations and we want you to answer with the first thing that comes to your mind – be silly, get creative…here goes!  We included our suggestions and let’s hear yours!

WHAT GOES GOOD WITH….

CHAMPAGNE = caviar, orange juice, Alkaseltzer, break milk – your turn!

HIGH HEELS= Band Aids – your turn!

NOISEMAKERS = Advil – your turn!

CONFETTI = Not my house

NEW YEAR’S KISS = pregnancy test

Happy New Year!  We wish you nothing but the best.

Love the Urban Suburban Mommies. xo

 

31369-NYM42C

 

 

 

Tags: Champagne, High Heels, New Years, New Years Eve, Party .

Our 2016 anti-resolutions

Posted on December 26, 2015 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

photo: Bryan Kemp

photo: Bryan Kemp

We’ve agreed, we don’t do new year’s resolutions because about 5 minutes later they’ve been broken. Resolutions are a recipe for failure, a way to start the year by putting unrealistic pressure on yourself, and let’s face it, after having the kids home for two weeks, having spent much more than usual on gifts, entertaining and parties – plus outfits for all those occasions – now isn’t the time to come down on yourself for not weighing in at the perfect number, not being the perfect parent, not being… Perfect, period.

Suburban Mommy Michelle says:

photo: Andrew Choy

photo: Andrew Choy

I prefer to set goals for the new year. I say them out loud so they are real and tangible. I usually ask my friends and husband to do the same. 99% of the time I achieve these goals – which is pretty exciting. It’s about setting your eye on the prize, developing your mantra for the year – “Setting your intention” as my yoga teacher would say.

It works.

Here are my personal New Year’s Goals:

Photo: Tomasz Stasiuk

photo: Tomasz Stasiuk

1. Be less wasteful: I really want to focus on buying less so I don’t have to throw out things like spoiled produce from the fridge.

2. Get in shape:  I am not going to say I want to be a size 2, because that isn’t realistic, but it is important for me to get back in shape because I want to feel fit and healthy. Both my boys are solid and I need the physical strength for them. I would like my pre-baby body back – for me!

3. Save: It’s time to put more money in the bank (on a regular and frequent basis). There are so many things to save for – RRSP’s, RESP’s, Rainy Day Fund, Travel Fund….(that’s a whole other blog post)

Urban Mommy Elisa says:

Photo: Amy

photo: Amy

Goals are aspirational. The success is in working towards them, not reaching them. Looking at what you can work on is healthy, and there’s no reason you can’t take time to change for the better. Mine are:

1. Creating more time for family: I’ve got a hectic schedule. I’ve never been good at time management, but I’m seeing the downside to that – so it’s time to take the wheel on that one and make it work better.

2. Screen-free time: I’m a self-confessed digital junkie. After trying to put my phone away and leave it away over Christmas, I’ve realized just how many times a day – while NOT working – I look at a phone, tablet or computer. I need to create more screen-free time during the evenings and weekends.

Photo: Angie Chapman

photo: Angie Chapman

3. Let go: My friends knew me as a laid-back and easy going person. Motherhood has all but snuffed most of my laissez faire. I live like there’s a catastrophe waiting to happen on my watch, and it’s got to stop. Or at least I’ve got to work on it, which is more realistic.

Baby steps.

We have written them down and shared them (I was going to just ditto Michelle’s 3, but decided to take the first step and say mine out loud!) – now what are your goals – we would love to hear!

photo: Silus Grok

photo: Silus Grok

Photo: Jenny Huey

photo: Jenny Huey

Tags: change, Don't Panic, family, featuredxx, fortune cookie, get in shape, resolutions, saving, screen-free, self .

Mall Santa

Posted on December 7, 2015 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Some people hunt out the ‘best’ mall Santa, others relish the pictures just for the memories of each Christmas. My favourites are the hysterical children screaming away while trying to escape the clutches of Mall-Santa. I’ve never been one to dress my kids up for big photo ops, never bought my boys a ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ onesie, and, frankly, I don’t like lines. And this year, with all the lines, this is one line I’m happy to skip.
santa with screaming kid 4

Photo: John Kim

Don’t get me wrong, the pictures – even the smiling face pictures are adorbs. I’m not a grinch, but I’ve yet to take my kids to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap and have their photos taken. We’ve been lucky enough in the last few years to bump into Santa at the parade or at an event so that my kids have had their Santa fill. But they’re getting to that age where they have questions – and frankly, so do I.

My 7 year old asked this year. “Mom, is Santa in every mall?”

I had to be straight up, but I had to preserve the sanctity of the big guy’s magic. So I lied. I told a lie that knew no limits. As every 7 year old does, my son had questions. And I came up with answers. Before I knew what had happened it got out of control.

Photo: Richard Elzey

Photo: Richard Elzey

My son now believes that there is one, and only one Real Santa. Just like Gru, The Real Santa has a huge number of Minions, but instead of little yellow fellows with blinky eyes, they’re made to look like The Real Santa. And yes, that’s where they got the idea for the Minions movie. And yes, they take notes and report to The Real Santa each and every day – who has been naughty, who wants what toy. No, not all of them have real beards, some of them are young and in training and will get their beards eventually, but since the population exploded faster than The Real Santa could raise his Santa-Minions, they’ll have to do. Yes, they all know Rudolph. Yes, if The Real Santa is ever sick, which has never happened, one of them might come to our home to deliver presents so he should be nice to every Santa-Minion he meets…

Oh, I’m in deep. My son is eventually going to realize I lied, and he’s going to realize the depth of my depravity. But not while he’s 7. Not on my watch. That web of lies I just knit may have been more for me than for him, but even my cynical side wasn’t ready for him to learn the truth and get that much closer to growing up.

Photo: Daveynin

Photo: Daveynin

So thanks a whole-heaping-lot, Mall Santas, for making me have to spin a tale so long and deep that I may never recover, all in the name of letting my little boy believe in Santa Claus for another year. I can only imagine what questions next year will bring.

[polldaddy poll=9220255]

Tags: Believe, Christmas, magic, Mall Santa, Santa Claus .

Top 5 host gifts – according to Urban Suburban Daddy

Posted on December 2, 2015 by urbansuburbanmommy Posted in Mommy Approved, Urban Suburban Daddy .

urban suburban daddy headphonesOur Urban Suburban Daddy is onto something here. Usually it’s a ‘Hostess Gift’ and it’s either something for the home or something with a feminine touch – flowers, wine, candles… Yes, we love these things, and it’s too true, Dad usually isn’t the one bringing the homemade pie to the neighbour’s holiday party. But since our Urban Suburban Daddy is quite the socialite, accepting invites far and wide, we asked him what he thought would be the coolest host gift if he were laying out the spread at our house.

What he wants:

1. Wine, Alcohol or Beer (why am I not surprised) Gift Basket

Nobody’s shocked at this one, it’s a pretty typical answer. Think outside the wine box – we suggest curating a themed gift of spirits, ales or wine.

Try this: Buy an ice bucket, select 5 or 6 flavoured, international beers such as Friuli (Strawberry beer from Belgium) or Wells Banana Bread Beer (UK). Place the beer inside the bucket, wrap with cellophane and a bow. You could do the same with red wines for example or little bottles of vodka.

wells banana bread beer

Wells Banana Bread Beer (UK)

fruli

Früli Strawberry Beer (Belgium)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Recipe Book

Our Urban Suburban Daddy is a budding foodie, and has finally admitted he’d like to be able to cook as well as some of those chefs we make him (like we have to twist his arm!) watch. One of his picks is from the selection of Jamie Oliver’s cookbooks. Feel free to inscribe it and mark off the recipe you want him to make the next time you come for dinner.

Jamies comfort food recipe book

Jamie’s Comfort Food – Jamie Oliver

3. Barbecue Grilling Set

You can pick up a Barbecue Grilling Set at a department or big box store. Have a look at this great set from BergHoff. You can even get creative with the theme and combine gifts numbers 2 and 3, just grab a grilling recipe books such as Bobby Flay’s Grill It (an oldie but a goodie) and pair it with a Barbecue Grill Set.

BergHOFF grilling set

BergHOFF Geminis 33 piece Grilling Set with case

4. Hot Sauce, Flavour-Makers & Jams

Like the hopped up gift basket suggested above, our Urban Suburban Daddy thinks it would be very cool to be on the receiving end of a selection of delectable and different hot sauce, rubs, marinades and even jams.

An assortment of rubs for a flavourful gift

An assortment of rubs from Williams Sonoma for a flavourful gift

5. Play List

Our Urban Suburban Daddy is a DJ by night, so the perfect gift for him is music. It’s also one of those great personal gifts. With the help of iTunes you can make your own playlist and present a USB stick full of awesome music for the holiday party or burn a CD if you’re old school like that. We are crushing on Drake and The Weekend right now – who doesn’t love a little Hotline Bling? Another suggestion is to go the old fashion route and pick up a copy of a CD – Adele is smoking hot this holiday! (And gratuitous video because you know you can’t get enough – we can’t either!) [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A&w=560&h=315]

What’s your beat? Bring it to the party!

Tags: alcohol, barbecue, gift baskets, gifts, host, hostess, music, urban suburban daddy .
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