Urban Suburban Mommy

Tag Archives: self

Our 2016 anti-resolutions

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

We’ve agreed, we don’t do new year’s resolutions because about 5 minutes later they’ve been broken. Resolutions are a recipe for failure, a way to start the year by putting unrealistic pressure on yourself, and let’s face it, after having the kids home for two weeks, having spent much more than usual on gifts, entertaining and parties – plus outfits for all those occasions – now isn’t the time to come down on yourself for not weighing in at the perfect number, not being the perfect parent, not being… Perfect, period.

Suburban Mommy Michelle says:

I prefer to set goals for the new year. I say them out loud so they are real and tangible. I usually ask my friends and husband to do the same. 99% of the time I achieve these goals – which is pretty exciting. It’s about setting your eye on the prize, developing your mantra for the year – “Setting your intention” as my yoga teacher would say.

It works.

Here are my personal New Year’s Goals:

1. Be less wasteful: I really want to focus on buying less so I don’t have to throw out things like spoiled produce from the fridge.

2. Get in shape:  I am not going to say I want to be a size 2, because that isn’t realistic, but it is important for me to get back in shape because I want to feel fit and healthy. Both my boys are solid and I need the physical strength for them. I would like my pre-baby body back – for me!

3. Save: It’s time to put more money in the bank (on a regular and frequent basis). There are so many things to save for – RRSP’s, RESP’s, Rainy Day Fund, Travel Fund….(that’s a whole other blog post)

Urban Mommy Elisa says:

Goals are aspirational. The success is in working towards them, not reaching them. Looking at what you can work on is healthy, and there’s no reason you can’t take time to change for the better. Mine are:

1. Creating more time for family: I’ve got a hectic schedule. I’ve never been good at time management, but I’m seeing the downside to that – so it’s time to take the wheel on that one and make it work better.

2. Screen-free time: I’m a self-confessed digital junkie. After trying to put my phone away and leave it away over Christmas, I’ve realized just how many times a day – while NOT working – I look at a phone, tablet or computer. I need to create more screen-free time during the evenings and weekends.

3. Let go: My friends knew me as a laid-back and easy going person. Motherhood has all but snuffed most of my laissez faire. I live like there’s a catastrophe waiting to happen on my watch, and it’s got to stop. Or at least I’ve got to work on it, which is more realistic.

Baby steps.

We have written them down and shared them (I was going to just ditto Michelle’s 3, but decided to take the first step and say mine out loud!) – now what are your goals – we would love to hear!

What’s your outlet – Part 2

Posted on by Posted in The Best You .
your outlet

My kids are older, the demands on my time are different. But working from an office across town, trying to minimize the amount of time my kids stay in daycare before and after school, my mommy guilt can get pretty thick. But I’ve also learned, we all need an outlet. We need time for ourselves. We need time where we shut off – we’re not child minding, cooking, cleaning, working, fretting, worrying, cheque-book balancing or soccer-momming.

Downtime.

For a long while I thought that my time was the time I spent in my car commuting. Heated seats and a killer sounds system were my respite from the demands of a fulltime job and fulltime motherhood.

Let me tell you, that’s crazy talk.

Traffic is stressful, no matter how kickin’ the stereo system. I was recently stuck, broken down on the side of the highway waiting on a tow truck and realized, for nearly 3 hours, I did blissful NOTHING! I read the news on my phone, I grabbed the emergency nail polish from the glove box and did three uninterrupted coats. I stared at the sky and daydreamed.

Waiting on a towtruck shouldn’t be that kind of bliss. It shouldn’t take a blown master cylinder to avail me of three hours of indulgence.

So what are my outlets?

I go for a manicure once every two weeks. That one day, the boys can be at daycare an extra hour while I lavish.

Daddy time. We alternate days on the weekend for sleep-ins. The other parent has to keep the boys occupied from wake-up till about 11am. It’s not that hard and it’s sooooooo good to catch up on a few zzzzz’s.

Mommy playdates. My boys are old enough that they can play independently. I’ve chosen wisely and become friends with some of my sons’ friends parents. It’s glorious to have playdates, especially with other parents who also appreciate the outlet.

The treadmill. There is a huge honkin’ treadmill in my enclosed porch. It would be a much nicer enclosed porch, but for the treadmill. I loved prenatal yoga, but I can’t get my butt downward dogging without the troops and groups that class participation provides. I am almost never without two boys so the gym and going out for a run are out of the question. Thanks goodness for the enclosed porch!

Punching bag. I have a secret pleasure. I like punching. Who knew? My husband got me into boxing. There’s a heavy bag and a speed bag in the garage, and late at night when the boys are asleep, I steal out to the garage to spar, swing, hit, punch, kick, jab, roundhouse, slam! BASH, CRASH AND SMASH… um, I work out in the garage with some boxing exercises.

We all need an outlet. It doesn’t make you a bad parent to need an outlet beyond your little precious.

It makes you human.