Urban Suburban Mommy

Tag Archives: tooth fairy

The next age and stage

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Just when I got good at being mom to babies, they went and became toddlers.

Just when I got the hang of two pairs of grabby hands and irrational demands, they went and became boys.

It’s the wildest thing, but somehow I don’t see it coming, and then Whamo! it hits me like a sack of LEGO, they need me less and less; they’re closer to being the people they’re becoming.

Now, at 9 and 11, my boys are kids. Tweens. Big boys. Big enough for a lot of independence, young enough to need guidance. But they’re 5’4″ and built like battle ships. They don’t exactly look like little boys – so I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming.

They just don’t need me the way they used to.

It became apparent this weekend when we went to the Santa Claus parade. One of them kept using air quotes every time he used the word “Santa” – I’m glad he didn’t ruin it for the little kids around us, but it’s that year. After more than a decade of brunch followed by 2 hours in the cold watching the same floats go by, I think we may have watched our last parade.

Toronto Santa Claus Parade 2019

The boys have made it clear that Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and all of the other childhood magic is a sham. And they’re okay with it – just so long as Mom and Dad keep on buying the Easter chocolate, the Christmas presents and pay up for the last few teeth the younger one still has to lose.

Actually, I knew it this past summer while on a road trip. I found myself asking why they no longer shouted MOOOOO! when we passed by a farm field full of cows and didn’t shriek CHOOOO CHOOOO when the train went by. Of course those are long gone – but dammit – I’m not ready to move on yet.

So that’s the rub. As soon as you feel comfortable and confident in your ability to parent, your children go and grow older.

How is that even fair?

I was taken down by the Elf-on-the-Shelf

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I want my kids to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny – and all of the magic surrounding holidays.

They’re getting older. They’re seeing things. It’s starting to be a lot of lies – and yesterday just made it So. Much. Worse.

When my boys were babes, it was never a question. I didn’t mind lying to them about the magic of these childhood beliefs. I figure they’ll get jaded as they get older, develop the healthy cynicism of adulthood soon enough – but they’re just fresh little kids who can have fun enjoying the magic – plus they get money, chocolate, gifts – seriously?

This being said, we don’t do Elf-on-a-Shelf. It’s too much pressure – I discussed it last year in this blog post. But now that my eldest is 9-and-a-half, he’s catching on. Yesterday we were out doing some Chrismakah shopping (we do both Christmas and Hanukkah) at Chapters, he saw a sale table piled high with Elf-on-a-Shelf kits.

IN THE CHILDREN’S DEPARTMENT.

Now it’s not that he’s a wee one. He’s starting to catch on that the big guy in the red suit just may be more symbolic than real. But when started hinting at it, trying to ask-without-asking whether Santa is real, I gave him my pat response.

“You only get presents from Santa if you believe in him.”

Nobody argues with this. It makes sense on many levels.

But yesterday… Yesterday it went bad.

He saw the pile of Elf-on-a-Shelf kits, and he had questions.

“Mom, why are the Elves in boxes?”

“Mom, I thought Santa sent Elves to spy on the kids he wasn’t sure about, right?”

“Mom, does Santa sell his Elves?!?!?!?!”

I was struck speechless – which never happens to me. But what would you do? Do you tell the kid this is just a commercialized gimmick? That will just landslide into what else isn’t real.

Do you make up another lie? “Honey, they come out at night and play in the store – with all of these toys!”

Do you get much more dastardly? “Sweetheart, Santa sends Elves to the store so that parents who want Santa to spy on them can have one, even if Santa isn’t worried about those kids.”

I spent the night trying to justify the response I gave him, which was, in reality, no response at all. I tried to hurry him away from the Elf-on-a-Shelf mountain by waving some Bendi Brick in his face. He’s been dying for that brick tape that you can stick anywhere and build LEGO onto it. But even that wasn’t distracting him.

He circled the table, scratching his head. He looked at me for insight and, in my desperation, I said, “Okay, let me Google it.”

Let me Google it? That’s all I had.

Then my son has asked if we need to free the Elves. If they’re being sold like slaves. If they need our help. I thought I may have to buy every single Elf kit and liberate all the little guys in front of him to keep up the charade. I handed him the phone and told him to Google it.

iPhone in hand, he forgot his question and launched Bowmasters. My iPhone had saved the day. But for how long.

Now we’ve never had a perfect answer for how Santa is in every mall. I always tell my kids that Santa doesn’t have time for pictures, so he allows people to represent him and take pictures, but that these guys are actors. I may have mentioned that Santa’s magic helps them grow white beards and big bellies. Another lie.

But nobody ever put a big $%#@ing sign that said “Have your picture taken with imposter Santa, ON SALE NOW!

To protect the magic of Christmas, and avoid the questions I did, I’m asking for all Elf-on-the-shelf kits to be kept out of sight. You may even need a code word to ask for one so that it can be put into a dark bag and never seen by the eyes of children at the mall or toy store. Like cigarettes and dirty mags. Elf-on-the-Shelf needs to be sold on the sly! For the sake of the children!

Wishing you a wonderful season free of questions you can’t answer!

 

I will not elf my shelf. Or shelf my elf.

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I love my kids and I’d do anything for them.

Except Elf-on-a-Shelf.

I had never heard about Elf-on-the-Shelf until it started to appear in my Facebook feed a few years ago. I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s creative.”

And then, as my kids got bigger and life got even busier, I realized just what an undertaking this Elf-on-a-Shelf is. You need to remember to move the Elf every night. You need to come up with new and fun spots and predicaments. Some of the ideas that come up through my Facebook feed are nothing short of AAA Tableaus staged by master set decorators! And they do it times 24 nights leading up to Christmas in December.

my-elf-on-a-shelf

In my house, we consider it a win if the Tooth Fairy shows up within three days of a tooth loss, I can not fathom shelfing that Elf every night.

Occasionally my husband and I have played funny pranks. I’m exceptional at making sure Santa’s milk was sipped and that a trail of cookie crumbs proves he ate the cookies we baked – I even chop up the carrots we leave out for the reindeers and throw them along the lawn (and into the neighbour’s lawn) so that they can see that Santa was indeed at our house.

My husband and I have been known to freeze action figures into ice, making it look like they got trapped in our front yard. We have lawn gnomes that will occasionally end up in crazy vignettes. We fill water balloons and add food colouring to surprise them with magic ice crystal balls. We mount surprise water fight attacks – but we can’t be trusted to Elf our shelf every night. It’s setting us up for failure.

I have nothing but respect for parents that can – just like I’m always impressed by people that can live Pinteresting lives in great detail, but nope, not us.

It’s good to know your limitations. Holidays are busy, we’ve got more than one tradition going on at a time so it’s fine juggling act to begin with, and the Elf would just topple our precarious balance. My son has started asking, and so my husband explained it by putting the little guy on the shelf.

Our own Elf on our own Shelf – it’s been enough to keep him from pushing the issue… this year.

The Tooth Fairy vs Teething

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

Teething is no fun for anyone. The bub suffers and screams and squirms. There is drooling and rashes and fevers and erupting gums. Seriously, who thought of this? It’s barbaric.

 

I’m really not sure about anything working – from Amber necklaces to Ambesol, but the mush bags with frozen berries are a mess and a stain waiting to happen. The attack on the nipple is over the top and the fussiness and sleep regression suck for kids, parents, neighbours… everyone.

But the second time around, it’s so much more fun! I love the 5 and 6 year old wiggly teeth.

The big first tooth lost!

The big first tooth lost!

They’re so excited when they get a wiggler. I love it when they let me give it a little jiggle. They’re so excited when they lose one. We have the Tooth Fairy App in fact. It lets us call the Tooth Fairy to leave a message when there’s a wiggler so that she knows to expect a tooth collection soon – and then we call and leave another message when it’s ready to put under the pillow.

The Tooth Fairy, it would seem, should have those little enamel treasures trading on the open market based on what the going rate for lost teeth is these days. We’ve discussed it with friends, and it seems somewhere between $10-$20 for the first tooth and then $5-$10 for subsequent teeth. In fact, one of my sons coerced the Tooth Fairy into leaving him toys.

Before that could get too out of control we sat down with them and discussed what goal they could save for – LEGO. They want LEGO. With 20 teeth to lose at $5-$10 a tooth, they’ll be able to afford whatever they want!

Mamas, daddies – it gets better. Teething is short but painful, yes – but it will be over soon. The stress of trying to remember to keep a stash of $5 bills at home and then wake up in the middle of the night to sneak one under a pillow is nuts. I mean, I finally get to sleep through the night and then have to remember to do this. The time I forgot – just slept through the night – the look on his face in the morning when he realized that the Tooth Fairy forgot about him was just brutal. It’s like having to cover for Santa or the Easter Bunny – you just can’t mess with this magic, even though it messes with your sleep.

My mom used to take a little piece of fabric, fill it with coins and slide it under my pillow. She left the tooth there too. I would get a great little wad of coins and save my tooth in a box. I still have that little box of baby teeth. It’s pretty gross and I don’t ever dig it up to look at them. I just can’t bring myself to toss them, but yuck. I don’t want my kids’ teeth either. I put them in plastic baggies under their pillows and then leave them there when I drop off their fiver. I wonder what they’ve been doing with them – it’s kind of strange, but I actually just don’t want to know!

Have to admit, they look kind of funny – a mix of cute and weird – as their little faces stretch to accommodate the big new teeth, but it’s exciting. Good luck with the teething!

EDITED TO ADD:

Who knew? I just read this great article. Apparently, teeth area  great source of stem cells. Keep your little one’s teeth! I can’t imagine it’s exactly on a par with cord blood banking, but there is a definite benefit for stem cells. Read more here.