Every year around Mother’s Day, I get a bit weepy. My husband goes to great lengths to remind me that we need to celebrate me, because I’m a mom, but Mother’s Day really hurts.

I lost my mom in 2001. We were very close, she was an awesome mom. Every Mother’s Day is a stark reminder that I’ve gone a whole other year without her.

Inconceivable.

I miss her tons. But I try to get inspired by my husband’s enthusiasm so that my boys can make a fuss and celebrate Mother’s Day and do all of those things I once did for my mom. I like when my Mother-in-Law comes down on Mother’s Day, it makes it all a bit more normal for me, but she’s not able to make it this year so I get Mother’s Day all to myself.

But what I’ve come to learn in these 15 motherless Mother’s Days is that it’s okay to miss my mom. I’m damned lucky to have had a mom worth missing. It’s another year of teaching my boys about her crazy ways and hysterical sense of humor and her unwavering love and affection, and it makes me appreciate how well she prepared me to love my boys with all that I’ve got.

The one thing that makes me sad is that my mom was uncomfortable in front of the camera. So many life events are missing shots of her, and there are so few from our day-to-day, that I don’t have as many mementoes as I’d like. If there were one thing I could change it would be that – so take a lesson here – get in front of the camera. No makeup, overweight, underweight, messy, dirty, in jammies, unbrushed hair – the only thing your kids will ever notice, is the love you always have in your eyes for them. So leave them plenty.