Urban Suburban Mommy

Monthly Archives: December 2015

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel won’t vaccinate their baby?!?!?!?!

Posted on by Posted in Fame & Fam .

“SOURCE CLAIMS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND
JESSICA BIEL WILL NOT VACCINATE THEIR SON”

That’s been the big headline for miles and miles – on In Touch Weekly and other media outlets – and you’ve probably seen the debate rage all over the internet.Screen Shot 2015-12-16 at 12.29.37 AM

The only thing I will say about whether or not baby Silas should be vaccinated is that I don’t understand why the internet believes they have the right to weigh in.

 The info comes leaked from a “friend.” The friend claims Jessica won’t have their son vaccinated because she thinks it may cause complications, and that JT supports her decision. The statement claims this friend hopes they change their minds.

It’s hard enough being a mother. We second-guess ourselves and our every decision. The more we care, the more we lose sleep over every choice we make – from vaccinations to car seats to preschools. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be a mother in the spotlight – who has the entire internet weighing in on her decisions. I mean, we all hate when we’re judged. Think about the last time the Mother-in-law tried to comment on your parenting!

We all try to do our best.

We all make the decisions for our children with their best interests in mind. None of us has all the right answers. None of us can even be 100 per cent sure our decisions are right – only that they’re right for us.

 Screen Shot 2015-12-16 at 12.27.46 AMSo why is the internet telling Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel how to raise their baby?

 I definitely have my feelings on the vaccination debate. Very strong feelings. But I’ll spare you having to hear them because I’m not a doctor and I have no business telling you what to do or push my educated beliefs on you – because for all my investigation and sleepless nights, my decision is right for my family, and that’s all I have to worry about!

The jammies of our dreams!

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .
Pajamas

image001I have tried many a sleeper with my boys, and my vote goes to the ‘Pekkle’ brand, which I have only ever purchased at Costco. I did a little digging, and it looks like you can also find the brand on Kijjji, Ebay and some other smaller retailers and second hand shops. The brand is somewhat exclusive to Costco – and let me tell you they are worth your membership card.

Most of the sleepers that I have purchased – like the Carter’s brand – almost always shrink in the wash. The Pekkle brand has minimal – virtually no shrinkage –  when you wash them. The colours don’t fade and then are made of amazing fabrics which definitely last. My first son had many Pekkle sleepers that were passed down to his cousin and are now being worn by his little brother, and they still are in great shape!

The sleepers are generally available in a variety of designs and colours for both boys and girls. They are lightweight and are also easy to fasten. The sleepers are usually about $7.99. If you’re lucky, sometimes you can find them on sale at Costco which is seriously the time to load up your cart.

Loving the Pekkle brand for value and great quality.

10 Questions with music teacher Liz Parker

Posted on by Posted in 10 Questions With .
Liz playing the piano

INSET lizpr-72.5Liz Parker has been a music industry professional and piano teacher since 1985. She teaches children to tinkle the ivories, explore their creativity and enjoy making music. We caught up with Liz to ask the 10 questions you know you want to know about putting your children through music lessons.

1. Does every child have an inherent musicality?
Yes, especially when it comes to “feeling” music. If you don’t believe me, watch any toddler when loud music is on – they immediately start flapping and bobbing up and down.

2. How does music help enrich other parts of children’s lives?
Skills learned in music are transferable. Commitment, discipline, working hard, overcoming obstacles, learning to express oneself, meeting deadlines, collaborating with others – it’s all covered in music.

3. What sort of time commitment should parents expect when their children enroll in piano lessons or any other type of music classes?
In the beginning, lessons are typically 30 minutes and practise should take at least that long for very young kids. Later on, depending on the level they’re playing at, 45-60 minutes of daily practise is needed. At the intermediate/senior level, we’re looking at a minimum of 2 hours daily (little kids’ eyes get really big when I tell them this).

4. What are your thoughts on music competitions?
I am not from the “competitions are evil, you’re only in competition with yourself” mentality. This may have something to do with my strict mother. I’m all for competitions. I competed a lot as a kid, and worked harder as a result. I learned how to win (graciously) and how to lose (with dignity – at least until I got to the car).

Life is competitive sometimes – music is a good way to learn about that. I don’t register my students in competitions, but I do make them perform in recitals, and if someone else is playing the same piece, I casually inform them of this.

5. What if a child refuses to practice piano – do you have any techniques to inspire them?
Threats and evil eyes.

Kidding. I talk it over with the child in private, then with the parent. I try to diffuse any tension over this with humour, patience, cajoling and flat-out bribery.

6. At what age can a child start piano and/or music lessons?
This really depends. I’ve started a child as young as 3, but a good age is 5 or 6, before they learn that music practise is a drag. A really squirmy kid should wait until 7 or 8.

7. Why should parents enroll their children in piano lessons?
Piano is awesome because the whole musical “system” is all laid out, visually. Any other instrument it’s harder to visualize the layout of the notes, but with piano, it’s right there in front of you. It makes learning any other instrument, including the voice, much easier. And music is a beautiful thing – didn’t it get us all through high school angst?

8. What should parents look for when trying to find the right music teacher?
Quick word about pianos first – you can start by renting a keyboard, but ask about weighted eyes – this leads to strong finger muscles. If your child shows any aptitude, then think about investing in a real, upright piano.

Back to teachers – you want a teacher who is patient, but clear with objectives. This is not musical babysitting. A teacher should be firm, but approachable, especially with young kids. After a trial lesson (no cost), the child should be a bit nervous, but excited and curious about the piano. I also learned how significant it is for a child to see an adult’s face light up when they arrive, and I always welcome students with a big smile upon arrival. My facial expression upon their departure totally depends on whether or not they’ve practised.

9. What do you love most about teaching piano?
Short term: the results. I LOVE taking a new kid who got 73 on her grade 2 piano (which is unacceptable) and guiding her towards a 92 for grade 3. I’ll never forget the pride on her face when she told me her mark.

Long term: Kids move on as they do, and I’ve had students find me 10 years later on Facebook and thank me for never giving up on them. To meet a student all grown up and go for a drink and catch up is incredibly rewarding! They go from “How do I get that note?” to “How do I get that girl?” I’ve become a “Life Mentor”! So humbling.

10. Why is it important to have music in a child’s life?
You want your kid to turn out happy and expressive, right? Music gives them that.

About Liz: In the Parker household, talk of quitting piano wasn’t casual dinner-time conversation. It meant a summit meeting in the living room. Liz graduated from the Royal Conservatory of Music at 15 with a Gold Medal for the top mark in Canada; she holds her Licentiate from England’s Trinity College of London; and her Bachelor of Music from the University of British Columbia.

Teaching since 1985, Liz loves working with kids to achieve great marks in the RCM exams. She combines a sense of fun and instilling discipline for maximum results. No slouching or flat fingers! To compensate, treats are handed out after student recitals. She teaches in the Queen/Bathurst area, meaning coffee/shopping options nearby for parents to while away the lesson time.

www.lizpr.com

Instagram: lafumiko
Facebook: Liz Anne Fumiko Parker
Twitter: @LIZPR

This holiday’s hottest gifts

Posted on by Posted in Mommy Approved .

You never know if you’re going to get the greatest gifts ahead of time or race around on December 24th trying to finish your list. My husband likes to try to predict the year’s hottest gifts and get me to buy them early. They’re usually things his inner 12-year-old boy is pining for, and, thank goodness, he’s usually right.

Don’t get stuck hitting Craigslist and paying 25 times what that toy is worth because you’ve left it too late. And if you are shopping for those nieces, nephews and family friends that are outside your comfort zone, here are a few gift ideas – both traditional and unusual – to get you to the check-out just a little bit faster.

Collectible cards:

If you know that they’re into it, you can’t go wrong with trading card games and their accessories, like cases and carriers. Pokeman, Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic Cards are all fairly safe options. These all come in various editions and packs, so you can get anything from a $5 stocking stuffer to a $50 or $100 set.

Sports cards are a great option for the little athletes on your list. If you know which sport they love, you can start up their collection. The gift you get them could end up being worth big money a few years down the road. You can either pick a trading card company like Topps or O Pee Chee, or you can go to a collectible card shop and purchase a specific card with value that you know is sure to increase. This lets you spend exactly the dollar value you had in mind because they vary so widely in price, from a up-n-coming star to a sports icon. Go for a Michael Jordan or a Gretzky rookie card if you’re looking for a big gift.

Pocket toys:

This year Shopkins are looking like one of the hottest gifts out there. Those cute little ordinary retail items come to cartoonish life, and they mean the world in the schoolyard. Individual characters are great stocking stuffers and only run a couple of dollars – or make it the big gift with a set or pack for $20-$30.

Star Wars:

Anything Star Wars. With The Force Awakens hitting theatres the week before Christmas, and pre-sales proving that this long-awaited sequel has fans with an appetite for all of Disney’s merchandise to collect and enjoy, you can pretty much pick anything and you’re sure to please. From Light Saber tooth brushes that glow, to 4-foot Darth Vaders and $300 Millennium Falcons, there’s something for every price range. Some of the most desirable items are from the newly issued Black Series. Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma were sold out in mere hours, but keep your eyes out for shelves to be stocked, those are hot tickets.

LEGO:

There are incredibly complicated sets, mini sets, sets with licences characters and sets that come without instructions for your little Master Builder. You can buy little lego figures, specialty pieces, vintage sets, and pretty much any child will know what to do right out of the box. As an add-on, get slippers for the parents. Those horrible little blocks kill when you step on them – like no other pain I know. But my kids and my niece get lost in LEGO. Yes, niece. Don’t skip the girls on your list. The great thing is, sets run from a couple of dollars to a couple hundred, making it easy to stay on budget.

A garden:

It’s not all about the toys. Give a kid the gift of gardening and growing. AeroGardens are big fun because they produce food that can be consumed. Kids really love being part of that – and that’s a hugely important lesson. We’re a society that’s become very disconnected from our food, this one’s a gift that gives such a great lesson. They start at around $60. If not an AeroGarden, consider a pot with seeds for growing plants and flowers. You can even give a starter kit so that they can start seeds in the late winter and have seedlings that can be ready to plant in the garden come spring! Planting sets can be quite inexpensive. And then, there’s always Chia Pets!

Experiences:

There are a lot of things you can give a kid, but giving them your time really is the coolest gift. For a niece, nephew or child of a friend, that gift of time can be a double-header – you take the littles and those parents get some always welcome free time! You know how much your kids would love that favourite adult in their life to spend time with them. Take your lucky little one to the zoo, a museum, a movie, a waterpark, a sporting event or to a play.

Great Wolf Lodge – 10 insider tips for a howling fun stay!

Posted on by Posted in Bon Voyage, Mommy Approved .

Holiday Lodge - Great Wolf Lodge, Niagara Falls

Holiday Lodge – Great Wolf Lodge, Niagara Falls

We had a howling good time during our recent stay at Great Wolf Lodge. They were just getting ready for the holidays and had Santa and Mrs. Claus as special guests. They made it snow in the lodge!!!!

It’s really quite an unbelievable place, a hotel chain designed around making a child’s every vacation moment too good to be true. Brilliant really, it keeps the kids asking to come back, again and again.

Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I love Great Wolf Lodge just as much as the kids. First a bit about the place and why we go, then scroll down to the bottom to see the best insider tips for a great stay.

The basics:

Our trip last spring

Our trip last spring

Great Wolf Lodge has 14 locations, 13 in the United States and one location in the Honeymoon Capital of the World, Niagara Falls. Each hotel has a very similar set-up. Rooms are themed, some offering bunk beds, a fireplace and whirlpool tubs, it varies depending on the suite. They really are amazing!

Throughout the hotel there are animated forest animals that the kids can meet. There is a waterpark – each location is unique – but all have amazing waterslides, water playgrounds, wave pools, play pools, hot tubs and a lazy river.

magicquestThe hotel is also the setting for Magic Quest. All it takes is a wand and starting up a game, and each child can be turned into a Magi, following quests, hunting clues, waving wands, collecting digital gold and amassing runes to fight the dragon. The computer system keeps the games going and each visit your young Magi can add onto their previous progress.

There are also other funtimes, like bowling, mini-put, an arcade and a bunch of restaurants, as well as gift shops and lots of merchandise for the little ones to dig into!

Why we love the place:

Story Time

Story Time

The kids have the bet time. All of the activity helps them to sleep very well at night, but just to ensure this, the hotel does music and story time to help get the littles off to bed. They even offer a Cub Club, paid childcare to run your little muppet through some great activities and story time. Mommy and Daddy deserve some alone time in all of this crazy kid-centred fun (so I hear, we’ve yet to try it)!

They even offer an all-inclusive dining package. We like it. Breakfast, lunch and dinner without having to think about it. The food is quite decent and ultimately, though not cheap, offers decent value. It includes non-alcoholic drinks and tip. Where else can you let your kids roam around a hotel making friends and having high-volume fun while getting to stay in your pajamas or comfies all day. Seriously, flip-flops and fuzzy bunny slippers are the only footwear you need, because you never have to leave.

It's my vacation too. The private patios in the room are a great place to enjoy the view and have a break

It’s my vacation too. The private patios in the room are a great place to enjoy the view and have a break

We’ve gone at least twice a year for about 3 years now, and have learned a few tricks to a great deal and a great stay.

  1. One night is fun, it gives you waterpark passes for both the day of arrival and day of departure, but two nights is more optimal, three is our max. There’s just too much to do for a one-night stay and your kids can’t get enough of it.
  2. Join their newsletter mailing lists. They regularly send out discount codes. I wait until I get a 25% – 30% off code and then book. For the best savings, you should plan to book 2 – 3 months in advance.
  3. It’s not as expensive as it sounds. We usually upgrade to a themed suite so we’re not going for the cheapest room price, but even at $200/night, when you think, there are 2 days of waterpark passes for 4 people for the one night’s stay. If you consider a regular waterpark is at least $30/person admission, do the math and you can clearly see the value.
  4. Be nice. They’re super-accommodating, and the employees, from my experience, will always try to go the extra mile. It CAN NOT BE EASY to work there, yet everyone is so nice. The kids yelling, the kids going crazy, the lights and sounds and activity of the Magic Quest, the costumes, the events, the waterpark and the weekend kids’ dance parties… It’s quite a ‘special’ work environment, and requires a special kind of employee.
  5. Paw Passes are great for the first visit, but may not offer you value if you’re only staying one night. And they’re not so simple to share between your kids so they can get expensive. But they’re a treat, so check first if you’re planning on doing and buying a few of the things included in the Paw Pass because there’s extremely good value if you’re planning to do a lot of Great Wolf Lodge’s activities.
  6. The rooms have fridges and microwaves with a little bar skink – like a little kitchenette set-up. Bring your own cocktails, snacks and food. We do the inclusive meal package one night and have a quiet pizza night the other. If you have dietary restrictions or just want to keep costs down, bring your own food and eat in your room. It’s totally do-able.
  7. While I don’t drink much – or often – around my kids, it’s my vacation too. The Niagara falls location (and possibly others) is completely licensed, so, when you leave the restaurant they will put your adult beverage in a to-go cup and you can take it with you throughout the resort. Ditto for your morning coffee! If you bring your own alcohol with, keep it in travel cups, don’t go carrying wine glasses and beer bottles through the hotel, the kids will catch on that you’re having your own kind of fun, and you know how that goes!
  8. Have a credit card with available funds on it so that you can have your wristband connected to your credit card, that way you never need to carry money. The wristband is your waterpark pass, your hotel room key and your spending account. I wish I had one of these for the rest of my life.
  9. On check-out day, if you want to stay at the waterpark past 11am (check-out time) you should get a locker. They’re cheap and convenient and hold a fair amount of stuff. They can put your luggage in storage for the day. I don’t ever feel good about leaving my stuff in our van in a parking lot all day.
  10. Have fun. Seriously, give it all a try. The only thing that bothers me is that they didn’t have anything like this when I was a kid!

After so many trips to Great Wolf Lodge, I still haven’t had my fill. We just went a couple of weeks ago and we’re already looking forward to returning. If you’ve got any Great Wolf questions, just hit us up, and we’ll give you our Urban Suburban Mommy-approved insight. It really is a howling good time.

Drunken pot roast

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .

pot roast platedI love pot roasts. They’re easy and look after themselves. If you’ve got all day, you can cook it slow and low for hours and hours, and it just keeps getting more tender and flavourful. If you’ve only got two hours, raise the heat and get it done. Up to you, it’s still and amazing dish, and leftovers are the best part!

What you need:

Roast:
– 1 roast 3-5 pounds
– 3 cups red wine
– 1 large Spanish onion or 2-3 medium yellow onions, chopped
– 12 – 16 white muhsrooms, halved
– 3 cloves garlic, sliced up
– 2 tablespoons butter
– Salt and Pepper to taste

Gravy (optional)
– 3 tablespoons butter
– 1/4 cup of flour

What you do:

pot roast closeupPreheat oven to 250°. In roasting pan add the wine, onions, mushrooms, garlic, salt and pepper. Put in oven without roast, covered.

On medium-high in a big grilling pan/frying pan, melt the butter, season the roast with salt and pepper, and then sear the roast on all sides. This helps to lock in the flavour and juices. Place seared roast in the oven in the pot and cover.

Let cook for 4 to 5 hours. You can remove the cover for the last half hour to reduce liquid.

Remove from oven. Carve the roast into thin slices and then return them to the pot to soak in the sauce.

My boys love this dish and really like when I make some of the jus into gravy to go with the roast.

Gravy: Melt butter in a sauce pan on medium-high. As the butter starts to fry, add flour by the tablespoon and blend quickly. When it becomes paste-like, start ladling the jus from the roast into the paste, whisking together. Keep adding jus until you reach your desired thickness. We like our gravy thick.

If you’re short on time, you can raise the oven temperature to 350° and cook for about 90 minutes. Rich, full-bodied red wines work best for this recipe. If you don’t have red on hand, you can substitute with beer – the darker the better. Guinness or dark ale is perfect, but it will even work with lighter beers.

Nothing can spark a mommy war quite like…

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

I’m a BTDT mom. My boys are 5 & 7, so I’m at the point where I’ve got a little perspective. The thing that has me so amazed about mommy circles is how divisive some topics can be.

I’ve always been of the belief that there are very few truly evil mommies out there – that we all do what we think is best for our child. So why do we fight with each other about 4 furious topics.

Continue reading →

So long sweet slingbacks

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

There are a lot of things that happened to my body when I had my babies. Some of them were kind of gross (not sure where all that mucous comes from) and some of them I claim as a badge of honour – hello stretch marks. I aged, my skin changed, my breasts took a beating and that stitch, it honestly couldn’t have gone into a worse possible spot.

But none of that really phased me.

It wasn’t until I stopped breast feeding my second and decided to get back into high heels that I realized the full measure of what pregnancy had done to me. Over my two pregnancies, to my absolute horror, my feet had grown.

Continue reading →

Not giving up the sports car

Posted on by Posted in The Struggle is Real .

When my husband and I first started getting serious and realized our lives were becoming intertwined, that we were working on a future, we had “The Talk.” We each had three deal-breakers that we made clear the other was never to push back about. One of my three deal-breakers was that I would never drive a minivan and would always have a sports car.

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly a sports car, but my VW Jetta 1.8T GLS is the nicest car I’ve ever owned. It’s the first car I ever specifically picked, went out an bought, instead of just finding something I could afford and thought might not die on me too quickly. Heated leather seats, sunroof, kickin’ stereo with steering wheel volume and channel control – and turbo! It’s fast. Plus it’s easy to park – and parking is at a premium in the city, I can parallel park in the smallest of spots with this car.

I’m not bragging here, my car is a 2003. I’ve maintained it well and I just love it.

For all of the Baby Mum Mums the boys ground into the interior, the indelible impressions that the car seats have made in the leather, for the cupholder, which I’ve now got to replace a second time, because each of my children decided to tear the arms off of because they wanted to see how far they could flex. I still love this car.

Of course, I’m glad I had enough foresight to buy a four-door, because I couldn’t have handled a coupe with two car seats, but I can’t bring myself to replace this car. It’s my car from before kids. It’s fast and fun and fully loaded.

I also can’t bear the idea of unleashing my boys on a new car. I’ve moved past my shame of living out of my car some weeks, with not-quite-empty lunch bags, drink boxes, school work, bathing suits and an odd assortment of toys and wrappers scattered like mementoes of weeks gone by.

But my husband – he agreed to my sports car deal, he was happy to be the one to get the minivan.

He doesn’t see it as a loss of his before-child freedom, and he doesn’t see it as an admission that he’s been domesticated. He loves his minivan. He sees it as the best automotive choice anyone can make – it stores all of his gear, lets him cart around big numbers of people, and he can stretch out and have a nap. His only dissatisfaction is that he didn’t go for a model with stow-and-go seats.

The truth is, I do appreciate the minivan – for its functionality, of course. It is great at a drive-in movie. It’s perfect when each kid wants a friend over, or when we’re going out in big groups. It’s a dream for packing up and going camping and it comes in handy when I want to buy something oversized – hello IKEA!

But I’m still not giving up my sports car.

Bake sale – the one bowl wonder cupcakes!

Posted on by Posted in Delicious Dishes .
FEATURE - bake sale cupcakes

box of cupcakesFor some, the words “bake sale” can create panic. Personally, I love baking,  and I don’t often have the time, so bake sales give me the opportunity to indulge my inner Betty Crocker. I always ask my sons what they’d like me to make. We discuss whether they want cookies, cupcakes, tarts; we go over flavours and icings and sprinkles and details. This past weekend I’d not had the chance to go shopping, and with only 2 eggs, no butter, no fruits in the house and not much time, I altered my favourite chocolate cake recipe to work with what I had on hand.

So easy, this one bowl wonder will make you look like the Mommy of the Year! The flavour of the cake part is very chocolatey, but not too rich. Whipped cream instead of icing also cuts back on the sugar buzz.

What you need:

CAKE
– 2 cups flour
– 2 cups white sugar
– 3/4 cup cocoa powder or raw cocoa
– half teaspoon salt
– 2 teaspoons baking soda
– 1 teaspoon baking powder
–  1/2 cup vegetable, corn or canola oil
– 1 cup sour cream or plain yogurt (should not be fat free)
– dash of vanilla
– 1 cup hot decaf coffee
– 2 eggs
– cupcake liners

ICING
– 500 ml/1 pint carton of whipping cream/heavy cream (35%)
– 2 tablespoons to 1/4 cup icing sugar (add to taste, I like to go light on the sugar for this part)

What you do:

Preheat oven to 325°.
In the bowl of your mixer, add all dry ingredients. Stir/blend well. Then add the rest of the ingredients. On medium, blend all ingredients together for 2 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Line a muffin tin with cupcake liners. Fill liners almost completely full, about a quarter-inch from the top. Put tray in the oven. Bake small cupcakes for 18-22 minutes, large cupcakes for 22-25 minutes. Use a toothpick to test that they’re done.
Pour whipping cream into bowl of mixer. Start beating on medium-high and add icing sugar. Continue to beat until stiff peaks form and keep their shape. Don’t over-beat the cream or you really will end up with butter. (BTDT)
cupcakes in the briefcaseOnce cupcakes are completely cool, use a teaspoon to drop a dollop of whipping cream on each cupcake and smooth it out with back of spoon. You can get fancy with an icing bag, but spoon method is quite easy. Finish the cupcakes with a pinch of sprinkles, some chocolate shavings, some cookie crumbs, a cherry, or any other garnish you have.
Word of caution, if you use sprinkles, the colours bleed into the cream within a few hours. Whipping cream will last at a bakesale, but isn’t as hearty as thick icing, so these can’t stay out all day.
Who am I kidding, they rarely last on the table for more than a few minutes before they’re sold out!
I like to label the ingredients, and I look like a pro walking in with my handy dandy cupcake briefcase.

Mall Santa

Posted on by Posted in Urban Suburban Mommy .

Some people hunt out the ‘best’ mall Santa, others relish the pictures just for the memories of each Christmas. My favourites are the hysterical children screaming away while trying to escape the clutches of Mall-Santa. I’ve never been one to dress my kids up for big photo ops, never bought my boys a ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ onesie, and, frankly, I don’t like lines. And this year, with all the lines, this is one line I’m happy to skip.

Don’t get me wrong, the pictures – even the smiling face pictures are adorbs. I’m not a grinch, but I’ve yet to take my kids to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap and have their photos taken. We’ve been lucky enough in the last few years to bump into Santa at the parade or at an event so that my kids have had their Santa fill. But they’re getting to that age where they have questions – and frankly, so do I.

My 7 year old asked this year. “Mom, is Santa in every mall?”

I had to be straight up, but I had to preserve the sanctity of the big guy’s magic. So I lied. I told a lie that knew no limits. As every 7 year old does, my son had questions. And I came up with answers. Before I knew what had happened it got out of control.

My son now believes that there is one, and only one Real Santa. Just like Gru, The Real Santa has a huge number of Minions, but instead of little yellow fellows with blinky eyes, they’re made to look like The Real Santa. And yes, that’s where they got the idea for the Minions movie. And yes, they take notes and report to The Real Santa each and every day – who has been naughty, who wants what toy. No, not all of them have real beards, some of them are young and in training and will get their beards eventually, but since the population exploded faster than The Real Santa could raise his Santa-Minions, they’ll have to do. Yes, they all know Rudolph. Yes, if The Real Santa is ever sick, which has never happened, one of them might come to our home to deliver presents so he should be nice to every Santa-Minion he meets…

Oh, I’m in deep. My son is eventually going to realize I lied, and he’s going to realize the depth of my depravity. But not while he’s 7. Not on my watch. That web of lies I just knit may have been more for me than for him, but even my cynical side wasn’t ready for him to learn the truth and get that much closer to growing up.

So thanks a whole-heaping-lot, Mall Santas, for making me have to spin a tale so long and deep that I may never recover, all in the name of letting my little boy believe in Santa Claus for another year. I can only imagine what questions next year will bring.

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